you are considering copying and pasting entire segments of my
profile. Or you feel nervous messaging me.
Or if the following words would rarely be used to describe you:
bored, boring, codependent, conservative, religious ("spiritual" is
cool though), dramalicious.
Or on the more affirmative side of things, note that I'm
a) a feminist, and:
b) independently confident enough in my own masculinity to
appreciate good things in my vicinity without feeling
So feel free to be:
c) taller, funnier, smarter, more athletic, more successful, more
privileged, more carnivorous, more
informed-on-a-topic-that-I-have-an-opinion-on, etc etc than I
It won't phase me one bit.
I still reserve the right to have more facial and chest hair,
Since it's San Francisco and there is such a wide spectrum here of
views on relationships and emotional expression, every profile
should have a section that explicitly discusses views on
relationships. Here's mine:
I base practically all of my relationship decisions on how someone
makes me feel when I'm around them and or thinking of them. Whether
it's an exclusively monogamous relationship, an ethically
non-monogamous relationship, a just-friends relationship, a
let's-not-use-labels relationship, or a one night stand, what I
care about is empathy, great connection, and mutual
Even though I am a grown ass man, I still get butterflies when
someone I'm crushing on gives me a kiss on the cheek. If we're
going to keep it real for a second, that's the wavelength I'm on
and what I find meaningful.
From an emotional intelligence perspective, unless I'm truly
unaware of an emotion that I'm feeling, you can count on me to
express my feelings (or lack of feelings) honestly, openly, and
But not inappropriately or overbearingly. I try to draw the line
somewhere between sending a "thumbs up" emoji and crying during
While the above is all true, note that I am not above selling
myself out in a conventionally transactional relationship. Please
feel more than free to message me regardless of how conservative
and religious you are if you're in the middle of planning a
blow-out trip around the world and your personal masseur/ chaperone
backed out. I have two passports, so you won't have to use up any
favors getting me into any countries on your itinerary that have
sour relations with the United States. And I usually travel without
luggage, so we can fit more of your stuff in carry-on in case the
market tanks and we need to fly commercial (just saying).
Congratulations. We've now reached the end of my internet dating
advértisement. So ACT NOW. Write me. And we'll get started on
making you happier than a Mormon on her honeymoon.