I'm totally married now. But if I wasn't married, and I were a guy, I would totally date me...

I'm smart: I'm a published author (ok, i was second author, and it was a chapter on memory in a textbook that no one will ever read, but it is still a publication). I have a Master's degree. I was invited to speak at an international acoustics/engineering conference in Prague. I know all of the legal 2 letter words in scrabble (or I did when they were 96 of them. They recently added 5 more. "Za" should totally not be a legal scrabble word).

I'm attractive: I'm not a super-model, but I am also not obese (5'9", 140lbs). On good days I have a cute-ish face. I don't have any major deformities (i.e. large goiters, missing limbs, facial tics). I'm pretty physically active. I should mention that I fairly recently cut all my hair off and donated it to locks-of-love, but most days the short hair actually comes across ok...

I'm mostly nice: I tutor a fantastic kid (It is possible that I'm not very good at this, as I am tutoring her in 1st grade again this year). I rescue dogs with one of the local animal rescue organizations. After seven months, I am almost certified as a foster parent by Monroe County. I'll probably be (mostly) nice to you.

I have decent personal hygiene: I shower every morning (and sometimes at night too). I brush my teeth for the full recommended 2 minutes - every time.

Your mom might like me: Even though I am a computer nerd, I somehow learned all sorts of crazy domestic girly things when I was growing up (like quilting and knitting and cross-stitch). Moms often find this quaint and charming. Or, at least think it is better than the talents that your last girlfriend may have had (being able to burp the alphabet when drunk?).

I am pernicious, snarky, and pseudo-intellectual

I am about to start a new rockstar job. I would include details about it here, but then you might be able to figure out who I am. And then you could hunt me down. And that would be creepy. So at this point I'm not going to share additional information. All I will say is that I am neither a ballerina-astronaut nor Noam Chomsky.

Foxtrot: Really any ballroom dancing - although I tend to like the smooth (waltz, tango, foxtrot, v. waltz) better than the latin.

Making lemon creme brulee: Really, I'm good at most cooking. Unfortunately, I'm vegetarian. So I generally stick to baking. There aren't many "fun" vegetarian things to cook. I make a great cheesecake too.

Remembering random facts and useless trivia: I seem to be great at remembering random unnecessary stuff, but not things that really *should* remember. I'm also horrible at remembering birthdays and anniversarys and things like that

Fixing random things (like fences, plumbing, and computers): I recently bought a historic house, so I am getting better and better and fixing things.

Rescuing puppies and saving the world: Ok, maybe I don't actually save the world, but I work with dog rescue and have saved several puppies. If you want a super friendly 90 lb Catahoula Leopard Dog, you should meet my current foster...

Expanding my profile with useless information so that I can reach "completeness" by OkCupid standards

Quantifying anything in terms of gummi bears: Because honestly, what good is a number unless it relates to gummi bears?

Honestly, I make an effort to blend in and *not* be noticed a lot of the time. I'm pretty good at it. I'm guessing that most people don't usually notice me. If they do, it's probably because I did something incredibly awkward or clumsy (like fall on my ass, or spill my beverage on them). Except for the ballroom dancing, I tend to be super-awkward and clumsy. I've also been told I have an exceptionally standoff-ish vibe...

Books: I love anything by Murakami. I just finished Zodiac (Neal Stephenson) and Rashomon: And 17 Other Stories (by Ryunosuki Akutagawa). I enjoyed Phantom Tollbooth, everything by Tom Robbins (Skinny Legs and All, Another Roadside Attraction, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas), Kite Runner, The Lady Tasting Tea: How Statistics Revolutionized Science in the Twentieth Century, Numerical Recipes in C (probably the best C programming book ever written)

Food: I'm 98% vegetarian: I haven't had meat in quite a while. Well, there was that panna cotta containing geletin a few months ago, and I still eat cheese made with animal rennet. Basically, I don't consider myself "100% vegetarian" because I reserve the right to eat animal products (mostly gummi bears) without people getting weird and accusing me of violating my moral code...

Music: I'm not sure that I have a consistent musical preference. In fact, my musical taste is pretty fragmented in incoherent. Right now on my ipod I have Frank Sinatra, Watercress, Pilgrim Beware, Ani DiFranco, Paul Anka, Hole, Johnny Cash, Alex Olson, Bitch and Animal, Sleeping Beauty (the ballet soundtrack), Coppelia (also a ballet soundtrack)

Movies: Heathers, But I'm a Cheerleader, Better Than Chocolate, Shawn of the Dead, Little Miss Sunshine, Resevoir Dogs, Cannibal: The Musical, Dune (the mini-series version), Tron, Sicko (I generally dislike Michael Moore movies, but *everyone* should see this movie), Cinema Paridiso...

TV:: (Ok, it didn't ask about TV, but I figured I would add it anyways). I just finished watching the first (and sadly only) season of Wonderfalls on DVD. It made me smile. A lot. You should watch it. Actually, you probably shouldn't. Because you are probably a guy (at least I assume most of the people reading my profile are guys). And it is probably a chick show. But it is a chick show that rocked.

My puppy: Ok - she's not really a puppy anymore - she is a 65 lb german shepherd. But I like her more than I like most people. And I would be totally lost without her.

Chocolate Covered Oreos, Gummi Bears and Blueberry Sorbet: Really I have quite a few types of junk food that I would miss. Junk food is one of the types of food that isn't sucky for vegetarians.

My roomba: Puppies are messy. Right now I have my "forever" dog (a German Shepherd), and my foster dog (90 lb Catahoula Leopard Dog). That is a LOT of dog hair.

Atomic Fireball Stella #141: I don't think this needs an explanation...

Saturday Mornings: A girl needs to sleep in sometimes. I get up at 5:27 most days so that I can take the dogs for a 3.5 mile walk before work.

Ice Cream? Rescuing Puppies? Computer modeling of cognitive tasks? Atomic Fireball Stella #141? Banana Pancakes with Maple Cranberry Sauce? I have a short attention span, so I think about lots of things, but I rarely think about any particular thing for a long time...

On Friday nights I can be found:

at SPOT Coffee (or occasionally Spin - I like the coffee better at Spin but the atmosphere is better at SPOT)

ballroom dancing: Because, in general, the octagenarians there are more entertaining than people my age.

Out to dinner with friends and/or family (Perlo's, Taco John's, Sinbad's, Aladin's, Open Face, Hogan's Hideaway, Jines, Highland Park Diner)

Or relaxing at home with a good book and the most wonderful puppy in the whole world...

I once had a psych report that stated "[My Real Name] has unrealistic expectations about the telepathic abilities of her relationship partners." I'm fairly certain that was my psychologist's way of stating that I am not particularly open... Also, I own multiple tiaras because I used to work as a Magic Princess (see: MagicPrincess.com).

You should message me if you are *local*, you are seeking friends, and you want to chat (perhaps over coffee -- I eventually get bored of extended internet correspondence). You should *totally* message if:

• You are smart, informed and interesting.
• You vote regularly.
• You are mostly nice.
• You do NOT kick puppies. Ever. In fact, you should *really* like puppies - even the big scary looking ones. (Especially the big scary ones?). Despite my efforts with personal hygiene (mentioned above), I often smell like dog.
• You are NOT creepy.
• You care about the world. This means you probably volunteer or do some sort of public service on a regular basis