naivaklamx
24 Madrid, Spain
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naivaklamx
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My self-summary
I apologise for being rude but you have to be a woman... on a dating website... to understand the necessity of it. Some people here are just... yeah, they would be victims in my stories. Enough said.

I Hemingway and Fitzgerald my way through life. Only without their great talent or even Fitzgerald's small fame when he was alive. All that's left is to become an alcoholic and shoot myself with a gun. I'm still young, you never know.

I like art and artists; I intensely admire creators who deeply inspire me, pull me into their universe where I have orgasmic moments of great epiphany. I like actors and movies — the art waltzing through a person's body is also another interest of mine. The passion humans can express is an omnichannel experience.

I'm a writer. And I grow to be incredibly frustrated with people lacking any sort of abstract thinking or artistic attributes. I get bored. Your encephalic fromage is stale and it stinks; it makes my eyes melt off. Worms populate the curve of your earlobes and your eyes are oddly glassy and lifeless. You reflect the light but you do not absorb the warmth, the sparks.

I'm fiercely independent and relentlessly dedicated to my work. If you get in the way of my writing, you will be eliminated from my life. I have great control over my emotions. I would say it's even a talent. So I won't miss you at all.

Apart from writing, I also study languages. Another passion of mine. If you speak German, Swedish or Russian, we could have an exchange or just a shit ton of alcohol together.

Yeah, I like being drunk.

If your bollocks hadn't shrunk when you finished reading all of this because you're not a scared prepubescent boy, if you're entertained and you share my point of view, you should message me.

Oh, and also if you want to discuss serial killers and school shooters, real or fictional. True crime is another hobby of mine and that is —let me decipher this for you, my boorish ignoramus— the knowledge of murderers and their atrocities. Who, when, what, why, how.

Yes. I write crime fiction, horror and mystery.

Also, my name is not Naiva, stop calling me that, it irks me.
What I’m doing with my life
Work. Uni. Using all the dumb shit you say and do in my stories. I also research true crime.
I’m really good at
Being stressed.
Figuring people out.
Being an awesome drunk.
Thinking of creepy shit.
The first things people usually notice about me
Accent.
Mordant honesty.
I would most likely do something that you consider to be weird.
Tend to be funny. But very sarcastic. With an incredibly dry sense of humour. You'll think I'm serious most of the time but I'd be most likely just fucking with you.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Shows - Halt and Catch Fire, Orange is The New Black, Mad Men, Vikings, True Detective, Hannibal, The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, South Park, etc.

Music - Anything that sounds good to me. It can be practically anything.

Food - There are two categories. I won't eat you if I'm at home but I'll eat the shit out of you if I'm outside, whatever you are.

Books - Too many and not enough.

Movies - Tooooo many. Preferably those extremely weird ones that make you go "The fuck?" like Inception, Donnie Darko, etc. And I love dramas. Love them. And The Lord of the Rings.
The six things I could never do without
Writing and video games, probably.
Talking to people. I need creative material after all.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My mind is a void, empty space full of white noise. Bzzz.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hopefully having wonderful brain sex with intelligent people.
Brain sex = good, intelligent and mature conversations, also vomits of creative activity.
No, it doesn't involve breaking skulls and jiggling brains into a farrago of mindless ecstasy.
You should message me if
If you're not into small talk, like intense discussions, like or have an eccentric sense of humour and are open minded. Those are the main points.

If you think Lisbeth Salander is amazing and not weird or repulsive.

If you are open-minded and want to include new people in your life!

I won't talk to you if:
- You have no summary of yourself or photos.
- I notice you have not even taken your time to skim through my profile.
- You only send me a message with a "Hi", "Hey" or "Hola". I receive too many of those, you're not any different. I like small introductions at least, nothing over the top. Otherwise, why should I talk to you? I get too many messages.
- You compliment me on my physical appearance or flirt with me. I could give less of a fuck about your opinion on how I look. Shove it up your arse.
- If you're superficial. Not interested in diving into the porn-warped mind of an immature kid.

And if I see that you're racist, homophobic or sexist, I'll immediately stop talking to you.
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