"I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to." -- J.R. Bob Dobbs (this is a sort of joke, by the way, not my life philosophy)

Update as of 29 October 2009: I am not checking in with OKCupid as often. The relationships I am building or improving deserve the majority of my attention, as such, I might not reply for some time. I am not seeking...

Public Service Announcement: This profile is long. I keep adding to it and updating it. When the old information still has value, I leave it. I want those interested to have as much information as I can provide so here it is. I would love to think that people would read the entire thing, but honestly, it's freakin long and I know it. Enjoy what you will, skip what you must, and thanks for taking the time to visit.

A little about me: If you think you've met someone like me before, you haven't. You may notice traits that appear similar to others, but I am uniquely me. Accept no substitutes and assume nothing. I follow gender roles as I see fit. I hold the door for who, what, and when I see fit. I cry at movies, if they earn that sort of response. I can tear down a building with my bare hands, or snuggle quietly in a skirt with cocoa and blankets on the couch. I am a geek... You know, roleplaying games, computers, pointless arguments about which super hero could beat up which other super hero, science, technology, theoretical whatever and whatnot. I think juggling is cool, and can kick most peoples ass at Soul Calibur or Mortal Kombat. I don't watch many sports on TV, have no interest in basket/base/foot ball or god awful nascar. This is just what it is. If you aren't tolerant of my geekitude [sic], you will most likely not find me interesting, and I would most likely find you boring or downright annoying. I find LOLCats amusing, especially the one with the walrus, even though he isn't (or wasn't, poor dead bastard) a cat. If you don't know what it is I speak of, don't let it get to you. I like random things, but hate clutter, so there you go.

Relationship Status: I have several very important people in my life at this time. If you would want to be part of my life you would have to understand this and desire connecting with my others on some level. I am married and have been for 18 years. I have several other wonderfully important and fulfilling relationships. I am not a cheater, which is to say that all of my loves and those that I am involved with are well aware of each other and communicate as often as they want with one another. I do understand that this might be confusing to some. Feel free to disagree with my way of life and how I love, but keep it to yourself.

Attraction: I find attraction in people themselves, not the sex they are. Labels generally annoy me but they help us to meet on common ground. That being said I feel inclined to use the label "pansexual" over bisexual because it more accurately encompasses how and who I find attractive. Here is what my oracle of oracles wikipedia has to say about pansexuality.

What I am looking for: Honest, bright, caring, fun people to add as friends or loved ones. I'm looking for someone in the 30 to 50 age range. I would prefer someone who is bi (or pan), or at least accepting and open to an emotional relationship with a woman as well. Physically speaking, I really don't have one type. In women I tend to notice curves (zaftig, buxom, juicy, fluffy, plump, curvy, voluptuous, rubenesque, thick) with fondness. Generally, I like women who are taller but know shorter women who attract me as well. I love woman who posses a natural beauty, make-up and product do not make people more attractive to me. In men, I am looking for someone who radiates a comfortable aura. Generally don't like men who are musclebound or overly aggressive, and most assuredly not interested in someone trying to prove their dominance. In either sex I am looking for someone interested in being an equal.

Personality (or lack thereof) Tests, Myers-Briggs and Bartle results: Since everyone else is doing it (yes, the bridge, I know...), my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is, well, it depends on the test. The scores I receive on the NS and TF axes are always close so things can be a bit subjective. The last time I did the real test it came out INTJ, but (I NS TF J) would be more accurate based on the percentages. Pick one of these permutations (quick links to description provided for your convenience): INTJ, INFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ. My mood and outlook are very mutable so on any given day, any one of these may be more accurate than the others. The idea of this test as a guide to self introspection as well as a quick primmer on how one might deal with others is a wonderful notion, but is not without it's flaws. As for my "Bartle Test of Gamer Psychology" results, I test as 93% Explorer, 60% Achiever, 27% Socializer, and 20% Killer. This does not make me more fun at parties...

Where am I, and where am I going: Presently located in northern Indiana, close to South Bend. One of my aspirations is to eventually move out of the city, onto enough land to stretch out and create a peaceful place to live for my "family". I don't wish to stay in northern Indiana forever but haven't yet figured out where to go. There is much more to it, but hey we just met.

The Military: I served in the United States Army for 5 years. I was never faced with the moral dilemma of hurting another human being, and would have faced great inner turmoil as I attempted to find balance between fulfilling my sworn duty, doing what I believe to be right, following orders, and honoring life. The military was a way that I could escape menial low paying work and perhaps have a future. Like most things in my life, the plan, and the reality were not the same. What the military did for me was help a 19 year old man provide for a family of four, and learn to deal with varied and "interesting" people from different walks of life. While I don't agree with our country's foreign or domestic policies, I still agreed to defend them. The military is something I would never do again, but am glad I did, if that makes any sense. If you hate war and violence, I understand, and I do as well. I just ask that you have a little perspective and empathy for the people who have decided to serve your country. Some people go for the adventure and excitement, others go because of a sense of patriotism or family heritage, some see it as a way to get to a goal, and others go because they think they are out of other options. I went for the last two reasons. If our government was just and good, serving in the military would be the selfless, noble, and honorable thing I think it should be. Running around the globe attacking for money and power is wrong, but being capable of defending your home, and community is not. We have many of the choices and freedoms we have today because of what others sacrificed.

Smoking: I stopped smoking tobacco regularly on September 9th of 2002, and am glad to have surmounted this obstacle. It was time, I knew better, so I stopped. I still have cravings and have even had a few smokes (my pipe a few times, and borrowed cigarettes on other occasions) over the years. These were great reminders as to why I quit. I would ultimately not like to be around people that smoke regularly, but as long as you are courteous, it shouldn't be a problem. *UPDATE* Sadly, this has become an issue again, but it's on it's way out.

DANGER! Long bit about how polyamory, and polyfidelity do not equate to swinging. If you already know this, or aren't concerned, skip to the "What I'm doing with my life" bit...

I am polyfidelitous, or at least this is the best label to use that I have found. I'm open to the idea of other loves existing in my life, and the lives of my intimates, but only with commitment. One of the biggest issues is that of "terminology" and its varied interpretation. Polyamory, extended family, secondary, significant others and such are all good words but people have varied translations of these phrases. This can lead to confusion, bad feelings, misunderstandings, and hurt. Who likes that?

Let's just state it all in plain text. I believe people are capable of genuine love for many individuals. All members of my extended family are loved or they would not be part of my family. Sex is not proof of love, it is a bond people choose to share, a way of connecting. I am not a "swinger", while I don't fault that lifestyle. I am looking for others that can give and maintain a commitment based on honesty and loyalty. Everyone is equal, all have strengths, and weaknesses. No ONE person can be "everything" for another. We should all strive to use our strengths and improve where we are weak for the good of our community and our family.

Although sex as a spectator sport can be an interesting novelty, it is not the standard, nor is it what I am looking for. I recognize the importance of intimacy between individuals and the group as a whole. The puppy-pile-effect, while again, fun as a novelty, tends to do very little for me, and does not afford the degree of intimacy needed to maintain strong interpersonal bonds between individual adult family members.

This is said to dissuade all those out there thinking I would be interested in cheating or having a little "fun" on the side. In point of fact, I would not.

Editors

• eowyn6666
• shellacfanatic
• Kotodateru

Being an example of what to, and what not to do. Trying to have fun and "Be Happy" (that's the tenet of my belief system). Raising my children to be better people than I could ever hope to be. Infusing a little chaos into things that have become stagnant.

Some of my life is spent doing research on alternative building techniques, alternative energy sources, recycle vs. reuse, need vs. want, how new science and technology can further a more simplistic lifestyle, how old science and technology can be reintegrated into a modern lifestyle, and so on.

Problem solving, creating problems that need to be solved, finding problems that don't exist, touching others in pleasurable ways, thinking creatively, doing the unexpected, juggling random things I find laying around, games, arguing about rules for games, reading errata and FAQs for games, using my knowledge of games for the forces of evil, losing with honor and dignity, using my turn signals, transitioning from serious to absurd and back without noticing, drinking Guinness, being irrational, being dependable, committing random acts of kindness, committing random acts, and confusing others.

Perhaps people notice that I actually look at them while we are communicating. This seems to be something that is foreign to many, but ingrained for me. Besides that I'm not really sure what people notice since I've never met me. I thought about going up to some strangers in the mall but the last thing I need are people yelling "Gujira!!!", running away, and making me all sad. Also, I hate the mall...

I generally don't enjoy being out in "public" and crowded spaces make me a bit edgy, so seeing me in public is seeing me with all my defenses up. Many people have said I seem intimidating when they first meet me, some have said "intense" or focused, while others have said manic or erratic. I think all of those are accurate to some degree.

Even with these traits, strangers still feel comfortable coming to me and engaging me in conversation. I never really have understood this. I can have strangers talking to me about the most private things in a matter of minutes. Are they seeing something in me that makes them feel safe, if so, why do others see me as intimidating?

People say I'm like a chameleon and seem to fit in with almost any group. The truth is, I adapt so a group feels comfortable with me, but I never really "fit".

Favorites... favorites are tough as it depends on the day and the mood. On a given day I could tell you the Doors are one of my favorite bands of all time, the next day I might not be in that space and have no interest in them whatsoever. What follows are things that I seem to consistently enjoy. I am always evolving, as such my tastes are quite mutable as well. Enjoy the list and if you have any recommendations based on what I have shared, please let me know. Also, I have decided to use this category to cover any and everything I could quantify into a list.

Authors: Anne Rice, Douglas Adams, Hunter S. Thompson, Orson Scott Card, Piers Anthony, R. A Salvatore, Robert Anton Wilson, Robert Heinlein, Terry Pratchett, William Gibson, and that Webster guy (what a smarty pants he is)

Books: "Enders Game", "Family Tree", "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72", "Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy", "Illuminatus", "Neuromancer", "Principia Discordia", "Schroedinger's Cat", "Stranger in a Strange Land", "The Dancing Wu Li Masters", "The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings", "The Incarnation of Immortality" series.

Actors / Performers: Brad Pitt, Brenden Fraiser, Bruce Willis, Cary Elwes, Eddie Izzard, Geena Davis, Helen Hunt, Jack Nicholson, Jason Statham, Jennifer Tilly (not for her acting), Jim Carrey, John Cleese, John Lithgow, Johnny Depp, Nathan Fillion, Penn & Teller, Stanley Tucci, Tim Curry, Tom Hanks, Will Smith, Woody Harrelson

Movies: 12 Monkeys, 28 Days Later, Brazil, Dodge Ball, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Fido, Fifth Element, Fight Club, Galaxy Quest, Hot Fuzz, I Am Legend, Idiocracy, Johnny Mnemonic, Lord of the Rings (all three of them), Mars Attacks, Office Space, Pan's Labyrinth, Princess Bride, Secretary, Serenity, Shaun of the Dead, Snatch, Tank Girl, Thank You For Smoking, The Day The Earth Stood Still, The Holy Grail, The Island of Doctor Moreau (old and new), The Matrix (notice, I did not say "all of them"), This Film is Not Yet Rated, all of the Monty Python movies (Holy Grail, Life of Brian, Meaning of Life), any of the Mad Max movies, and Godzilla movies.

I enjoy Sci Fi (distopian, and post apocalypse mostly), comedies, and documentaries, but I am open to watching almost anything. Here is what's in our NetFlix queue, what we have recently watched, and what NetFlix recommends for us to watch.

TV: 30 Days, America's Test Kitchen, Beauty and the Geek, Bullshit (Penn & Teller), CSI (sometimes), Dead Like Me, Dexter, Doctor Who (old and new), Firefly (R.I.P.), Futurama, Globe Trekker, Hell's Kitchen, Heroes (the first season), Invader Zim, MASH, MXC, Max X, Nature, NOVA on almost any subject, Red Dwarf, Scrubs, Survivor, The Lost Room, Torchwood, Trigun, Venture Bros.

Since we don't subscribe to cable, most of the time we watch shows on DVD after everyone else has seen them and they are no longer fashionable. As you can see, I enjoy a few "reality" shows, and while I realize they are the downfall of western society I still enjoy the emotion and drama they provide. If I could only get one station on our TV, I would want it to be PBS.

Sporting activities to play: Disc Golf, Foosball, Pool, Racquetball, Volleyball

Sporting activities to watch: BMX Freestyle, Extreme Sports, Hockey, Poker (I don't know why damn it), Skateboarding, Snowboarding, Soccer, Gravity Games, X Games, anything unusual that comes on (dodgeball, air hockey, whatever...)

Music: Air, Alice DeeJay, Aphex Twin, Aphrodite, Basement Jaxx, Beastie Boys (less of the old rap crap, more of the electronica), Benny Benassi, Black Eyed Peas, Black Uhuru, Black Sabbath (with Ozzy), Blue Man Group, Bob Marley, BT, Butthole Surfers, Chemical Brothers, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Crystal Method, Culture, Daft Punk, Darude, Dave Matthews Band, Deep Forest, Devo, Dirty Vegas, Dzihan & Kamien, Eat Static, Edie Brickell, Eminem (selectively), Enigma, Enya, Eric Clapton, Fatboy Slim, Freestylers, Goldfrapp, Grateful Dead, Groove Armada, James Taylor, Junkie XL, Laika, Lords of Acid, Macy Gray, Madison Avenue, Marilyn Manson (selectively), Massive Attack, Ministry, Moby, My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, No Doubt, Norah Jones, Offspring, Orb, Orbital, Ozzy Osbourne, Pink, Prince (the hits), Primus, Prodigy, Propellerheads, Queen, Qkumba Zoo, Ray Charles, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Royal Gigolos, Sade, Sarah McLachlan, Sean Paul, Sizzla, Suicidal Tendencies (more for nostalgia), Talking Heads, The Beatles, The Cure, The Ditty Bops, The Dresden Dolls, Thievery Corporation, Tori Amos, UB40, Underworld, Violent Femmes.

New music tastes and new finds happen all of the time with me. This list is outdated and would be such a chore to update. My tastes are fluid and ever evolving. I enjoy music that possesses you... Music that makes you want to shake your ass, move your hips, or grind with others lasciviously. Music that exudes passion, energy, or emotion of any sort. Several songs that bring me to the point of tears are "Boadicea" by Enya (when played loudly), "Planet Caravan" and "Changes" by Black Sabbath (also, only when played loudly), "I Do" by Edie Brickell, "Fire and Rain" by James Taylor, and "War Child" by The Cranberries (I know, odd list, and I really don't know why, but each of them touches me). My mood can be completely changed with the right music. It's like medication, when I am feeling a certain way, or want to feel a certain way, the right music helps.

Generally the genres I listen to are alternative, chillout, dance, downtempo, electronica, ethnic fusion, mashup, reggae, techno, trance, trip-hop, and worldbeat. Enjoy almost anything with the exception of country music, but even a bit of that will make it into my lists from time to time.

Games: Alhambra, Bang!, Carcassonne, Cranium, Hex Hex, Killer Bunnies, Monopoly, Munchkin, Settlers of Catan, Talisman, Trivial Pursuit, Zombies!!!

Art: Andy Warhol (Four Monkeys, Self Portrait), Charles Belle (At the Very End of a Meander), Checo Diego (Another Red), Claude Monet (Bordighera, Dusk, Field of Yellow Iris at Giverny, Gardens at Bordighera, Irises 1914-1917, Jardin de Monet a Giverny), Edouard Manet (Luncheon on the Grass, Olympia, Seascape), Giorgio De Chirico (Ettore e Andromaca), Jacques Lamy (Antique Modernity), James Carter (Bird House, Homecoming), Leonardo Da Vinci (Vitruvian Man, War Machine), M.C. Escher (Balcony, Circle Limit IV, Concave and Convex, Cycle, Day and Night, Double Planetoid, Encounter, Gravity, Hand With Sphere , High and Low, House of Stairs, Liberation, Metamorphosis I, Mosaic II, Print Gallery, Puddle, Relativity, Reptiles, Sky and Water, Still Life with Reflection Sphere,Three Spheres II, Verbum), Max Ernst (Fruhling), Pablo Picasso (Blue Nude), Ronald Miller (Ambiguous Woman), Salvador Dali (A Lively Still Life, Bacchanale, Broken Bridge & Dreams, Burning Giraffes, Disintegration of the Persistance of Memory, Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee Around a Pomegranate, Enchanted Beach with Three Fluid Graces, Enigme Sans Fin, Espana 1938, Galatea of the Spheres, Geopoliticus Child Watching the Birth of the New Man, Giraffe on Fire, Invention of Monsters, Lit et Deux Tables de Nuit Attaquant, Maelstrom, Metamorphosis of Narcissus, Piaceri Illuminati, Ship, Soft Watch at the Moment of First Explosion, Swans Reflecting Elephants, Temptation of St. Anthony, Without Title, Woman with a Head Full of Roses), Wassily Kandinsky (Autumn Landscape with Boats, Black Spots, Colour Studies with Technical Explanations, Composition 8, Counter-Gravitation, Thirty), William Carter (Africa)

As you can see, I like my art trippy, mathematical, or with women in it.

Current recommendations from others: (Piers Anthony, Geodyssey series) (Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn books) (Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind)

Editors

• shellacfanatic

loved ones, good powerfully emotional sex, good friends, stuff to juggle, exciting music, something to learn

Living a gentle, fulfilling life that will leave a lasting impression. Why politics are broken, and what the likelihood of it being fixed are. Why people hate each other for stupid reasons like sex, sexuality, race, religion, nationality, favorite sports team, and so on. Why the Church of the SubGenius never sends me catalogs anymore. How I can justify being so intolerant of intolerant people. How science and religion have just as much relevance, which is to say, none. One seems to be used to start wars, the other to conduct or conclude them. How easy (easy=difficult) it would be to convert all my computers at home to Ubuntu and force everyone in the house to give up using windows. Oh, and lately, quantum physics, which I find fascinating and amusing at the same time.

The unique dichotomy of my life ambitions. Striving to exemplify order and peace, while still inflicting random discord on the world around me. Why do I do it? I'm under the delusion that perhaps dealing with someone out of the ordinary (me) could act as a catalyst for others to seek change and continue to evolve as individuals themselves. I allow for a lack of self control in some areas which allows me to focus more self control in more important directions. It's also fun. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm going to do.

...as well as nude people and why there aren't more sites that depict women with the form I find most appealing (Mae West, Jennifer Tilly, Aria Giovanni), erotica, sex toys, and what's coming in next on NetFlix (seriously, let me know if you are a NetFlix user and if you want you can join my friends list).

But most of all, I contemplate my "Be Happy". This is not to say that I am not happy. Deep thought must go into ones actions to assure that the happy is not just self serving, but permeates your life and those around you. It's an odd sort of zen thing that I would need to talk at great length about to properly convey. Plus, it makes me sound preachy when I talk about it. Suffice it to say that I am still growing and learning.

Playing games with friends and family, snuggling close to someone special, drinking coffee or tea till I vibrate, watching movies, or talking about whatever the flavor of the moment is.

I am a polyamorous person who realize that my heart is big enough to have genuine love for many people. I will admit almost anything if asked nicely.

That being said, the most private thing I can think of to share is that I have very little faith in the honesty, integrity, and sincerity of others. I still provide people the chance to prove me wrong, but only a few I know seem to have honestly deserved it. I know this sounds self righteous, but it is how I feel, and the most private thing I can think of at the moment.

Also, for some odd reason, my navel is pierced. Lastly, if I owned techno goggles, I would wear them all the time.

...you're looking for friends to play games, watch movies, or go have coffee with.

...you're Interested in finding someone who is open-minded, and that you can feel comfortable being yourself around.

...you are trying to find people you may want to spend your life with.

...you have interest in touching me inappropriately (bad touch!!!), or need to send those naughty pictures of yourself to someone for review.

...you are searching for someone to juggle with.