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24 Chicago, IL Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–34
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Apr 15
Straight, Heteroflexible, Sapiosexual
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Seeing Someone
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
---Looks, guys, if you're in a married, monogamous relationship, I'm not into that unless your wife is. Don't bother even thinking about hitting me up if you're lying to your wife.---

* I'm a heteroflexible, outgoing introvert. I love to chat and go out, but you have to put in effort to really get to know me. I would describe myself as I've got a cute face, chubby waist, and thick legs in shape.

* Open to non-monogamy/polyamory, but if it gets serious I need to be the primary. FL name is "HotLadyBigBoobs." If you've got one, feel free to learn more about me there. Fetish/kink friendly, so if that makes you uncomfortable I'm probably not for you.

* Moderately experienced --- experienced Doms preferred but not required. Generally In the bedroom, live it when I can, but I am absolutely a feminist who demands respect in her daily life. You probably get the drill by now and if you think you can treat me like shit this won't work.

* ENFP/INTJ, depending on how I'm feeling. If you care, that is.

***I'm hella broke/job hunting right now after a cross country move back home, so if you wanna go out it's gotta be cheap, unless you're willing to foot the bill. I'm not usually like this, I promise.

IF YOU ARE PUSHY WITH ME, THAT IS A RED FLAG. If I say I'm busy, I'm busy. If I keep saying I'm busy and you keep pushing, then you're out. Sorry not sorry.

I would love to be with someone that loves cooking and baking, and/or will eat damn near anything I make without complaining about it because I am a damn good cook, I put my love into my cooking, and I ain't got time for no goddamn picky eaters.

I love pitbulls but I am highly allergic to them. If you have one, let me know in advance so I can stock up on allergy meds. Previous experience with dog allergies suggests I will eventually develop a tolerance.

If you have terrible grammar, don't message me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Generally dicking around, gaming, watching Netflix, reading, chatting with my closeknit group of friends online, looking for a new job and an apartment. I'm considering buying a place.

Also considering going back to school for Early Childhood Education. Or maybe as a legal assistant? Really I just want to make a difference.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm great at making people feel comfortable.

Cooking and baking.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sense of humor. I've also been told that I have soft skin and a nice ass.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Anything by Chuck Palahniuk. A Song of Ice and Fire. To Kill A Mockingbird is an old favorite. Really I'm open to anything, so someone suggest a book and I might just look into it! I read pretty often but I don't keep track any more.

Movies: Too many. Let's go through my instant queue and then some: I Love You, Phillip Morris; I Love You, Man; Step Brothers; The Stuff; Pink Flamingo; Re-Animator; Total Recall; Kindergarten Cop; Velvet Goldmine; Trainspotting; Bronson; Jiro Dreams of Sushi; The Game; Sound of Noise; The Big Lebowski; Labyrinth; Best in Show; Cruel Intentions; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover; Santa Sangre; True Grit; Secretary; The Man Who Fell to Earth; A Dangerous Method; Cabin In The Woods; pretty much anything Disney because I'm not even going to pretend I don't love me some musicals.
Well, that should at least give you an idea. Plenty more where that came from.

Shows: Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation, Dexter, Deadwood, Sopranos, Twin Peaks, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Aeon Fluxx, Archer, The Golden Girls, Star Trek, Nip/Tuck, Always Sunny, Scrubs, Strangers with Candy, American Dad, Tim and Eric, Daria, Adventure Time, The Regular Show, Deadwood, Six Feet Under, Supernatural, Ahhh! Real Monsters, Rocco's Modern Life, Ren and Stimpy, Dilbert, Dr. Katz, Angry Beavers, Sherlock, Orange is the New Black, American Horror Story (addendum, don't fucking talk to me about Firefly. The fans ruined it for me, and not only have I not seen it, but I will not see it just out of spite. Kindly fuck off).

Music: Genuinely a little bit of everything. I tend to stay in rock (any kind, classic, alternative, etc) and I even like a little bit of country (classic mostly, none of this pop country shit) and older hip hop. Current favorites: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Die Antwoord, and Old Crow Medicine Show.

Food: is my best friend. I like it more than I like most people. Shellfish allergy limits what I can try but I'm great at editing recipes.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

(added 7th, sex. oh my god bad sex is a dealbreaker)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What I really want to do with my life. Cats. New recipes. More cats. What's going to happen in Winds of Winter. Workouts I'll probably never do. Getting back into my subspace. Cats, obviously.

"I'm a sexy little otter."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Gaming with ButtClan, probably.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I talk to myself. A lot.

And I cannot fucking stand Wes Anderson movies after Rushmore. I get why people like him. I just feel like he's forcing whimsy and Owen Wilson.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're not a brony or furry.
You're not a weeaboo or otaku.
You understand why fedoras don't actually make you look good.
You're not pushy!!!