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30 Houston, TX Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 22–42
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 10:26am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
When drinking
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*A lot of details here are out of date. Update coming soon!*

My name is Grey. I have been on OKC since 2004. In those 8 or so years I have slowly become a whole different person, and have finally decided to start anew with a fresh identity here. Two years ago I completely uprooted and relocated from Texas to Utah to be with my partner. I found new friends, new family, and very carefully chose a new name.

Today, all of that is gone, and I've spent over a year in self-imposed emotional seclusion, trying to figure out what the fuck happened. I'm at the point where I'm ready to start living again. I'm looking to collect people, one at a time, who I can truly trust and keep around for a good long while, romantic or not romantic. My ultimate goal is to build a tribe of sorts that can work together, adapt and cope with the struggles ahead of us, and finally build something wonderful that will last longer than we will.

Note: I actually live in Lake Jackson, not Houston, but I am semi-closeted because of my job.

. . .

I was raised in a small town by some very hard-core Evangelicals. I didn't really make up my mind to follow my own path until I was 22. No matter how much I see, how much I learn, how far down the alt-culture rabbit-hole I go, my original family's legacy weighs heavy on me: Unlike most religious people, despite their flaws and occasional intolerance, they are honest, well-meaning people who taught me the importance of love and showed me that personal integrity, having an ethos and truly living it, is real. The standard they set is rarely matched here in the secular world. I never "rebelled" or "reacted" to a hostile religious environment. I quietly and deliberately turned my back and walked away when I truly became an adult.

Today I am a follower of questions, of balance, a true believer only in Complexity and the astounding capacities of the human species. Order, chaos, whatever, all that matters is love/companionship/interaction/intimacy, life/warmth/sanctuary/trust, and a healthy dose of food/drink/laughter/sex/pain/music/experience.

. . .

I am a HUGE dork, in the old-school, not-hip sense of the word. Be warned.

I am poly and kinky (and a for-serious switch, since people keep asking), and only 85% straight. I am nerdy, analytical, and introverted. My straight-forward nature and dry humor ensure that when I am sarcastic, no one can tell and looks at me oddly. And when I am goofy they think I'm adorable. I like action movies, sci-fi/fantasy in the broad sense, turn-based strategy board and video games (though I have little time for them), and Joss Whedon.

I think overly much about politics and economics and love the social sciences, and I greatly respect those fileds that deal in hard data, including historiography, archeology, geography, bio-anthropology, and statistics and statistical method. These are very complicated fields, however, and I'm lazy, so in the past I've mostly stuck with history and economics. I'm also greatly concerned with infrastructure, complexity, and natural resources. I think peak oil is a huge issue.

I am subtle, quiet, and evolving.

This profile is still (always) under construction.

Extra tags I haven't worked in properly yet: BDSM, polyamory, Burning Man, Burners, Burner, tribe, community, anarchism, pagan, paganism ...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying very hard to become an independent adult and to gain desperately needed self-knowledge.

Working a LOT, and drawing up half-baked schemes to move out of my parent's garage. With this new job I should be able to actually pull it. Soon. Other than that... I have no idea. I'm at a critical juncture in my life, and still trying to figure out what choices will be best for my future. Mostly I'm growing, rebuilding, and trying to save money and pay off debts.

I am still learning to be responsible and autonomous, learning to prioritize myself and the people I care about in a responsible manner. This is very difficult for me.

I'm a member of the Houston Polyamorists meetup group ( ), more simply to be supportive than anything else.

I'm writing some (not enough), and working on long-term spiritual realignment. I'm also trying to get more serious and more disciplined regarding intellectual pursuits in general.

I spend too much time watching TV shows on Hulu or Tv-Links.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm not sure, but I'm "better than okay" at several things, including math, writing, remembering concepts but forgetting all hard data, philosophical abstractions, and compulsively playing the devil's advocate.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This has improved over the years, but it's probably still how awkward I am. Also, I'm tallish and definitely lanky.

Depending on whether or not I am wearing my trademark grey cap, they notice either my prematurely receding hairline or my awesome hat. Unless I am in Midtown/Montrose, where the hat is suddenly completely unremarkable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
To be honest, I might skim this section of your profile, but I probably won't even touch it. I've discovered through experience that these things, especially music (even though I love my music), usually don't effect a real relationship. Books can be traded and notes compared as you go.

I will put something for your amusement anyway. Later.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1: Cell phone, if only because it's very important to me to be able to get in touch with the people I care about when really needed.

2: My car. I actually HATE cars and hate driving, but, lacking any place that feels like home right now, the independence and flexibility provided by having my own car is essential.

3: Notepad and pen, for whatever is important.

4: My trusty Leatherman Skeletool CX.

5: Music. Well, actually, I can go a full three or four days without it, but any longer than that I slowly start to go mad.

6: Genuine Human Companionship. Just having people I can hang around and call "friends" isn't enough. I need people I can sincerely relate to and communicate with on a deeper level. I've tried going without and found myself falling apart.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Peak oil, and trying to figure out how to realistically deal with its implications in my own life.

How on earth to build a sane, stable, prosperous economy with low wealth gaps and without continuous "growth" or depletion of non-renewables. No answers so far.

How so many OKC questions are impossible to answer properly if you have a complicated poly view on relationships...

How to make things happen in my life. I don't have a natural knack for it.

How to get things done while working all the time.


Ideas and abstractions of the most fundamental kind.

Sex and intimacy, and sometimes even at the same time.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...relaxing at home. I usually (but not always) have work early the next morning.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm at a low point in my life, and naturally depressed. I also cope frequently with mild anxiety and dissociation. I'm trying really hard to breathe the fresh air, enjoy what I can anyway, and not to let my problems affect others. If you can't or don't wish to get involved with that in mind, I completely understand.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Long term: I am especially interested in people who share sex-positive, kink-positive values and who are seriously interested in the environment and community/tribe building, but who are also pragmatic and non-puritanical.

Otherwise, message me if:

If you want a friend, mostly, especially someone you can count on, really open up to, and keep around for the long-term.

I value trust, sincerity, and integrity above all things. Even more than your big sexy brain. Seeking like-minded travelers.

If you are also stuck in a small town with no one to talk to.

I'm tired of people not getting my perspective at all, so poly-friendly is greatly desired.

If you want to play games, go on a walk, exchange music, talk about economics or spirituality, or just hang out and be depressed together, message me.

Message me for any reason whatsoever, really.