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cheekily-zen

38 M Cambridge, MA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:44pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Job
Technology
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I try to live my life as the sort of man that my grandfather would have been proud of. I remember him for his kindness, patience, warmth, and integrity - and for the mischievous glint in his eye. I also live a vibrant and rich life, cultivating a sense of contentment without complacency. A wise man would follow the safe path - a wiser man would leave room for adventure and mischief.

My sense of intellectual and experiential curiosity has led to a rewarding career in software development, extensive travel, and a wide variety of hobbies - with partner acrobatics and fire spinning as my current favorites. I also enjoy yoga, kayaking, climbing, cooking, baking, reading, travel, photography, and exploring tidal pools. The November Project is a new and delightfully painful interest, along with west coast swing. Acroyoga and aerial arts are likely next.

My tendency to feed friends, bake far too many cookies, and make soup for sick partners led to a good friend describing me as badass, brilliant, and grandmotherly. I'm okay with this.
What I’m doing with my life
The last few years have been an incredible experience, with quite a lot of my time spent abroad. This included five months working in England, exploring the hawker centers of Singapore, fire spinning in Vienna and Poland, a somber visit to the Dachau memorial site, a foggy day on the Great Wall, the stunning gardens of Suzhou, camping in Yellowstone and Glacier, and a weekend at Gerald Durrell's wildlife park - he's a favorite.

After several wonderful years of this, I am taking a break from the travel to focus on building my life in Boston.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am gentle-spoken, happy, and approachable, which has led to some excellent conversations with strangers. I get compliments on the earrings almost daily, along with comments from elderly women about how much they appreciate my sense of style - which is somewhere between circus and herringbone.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh is one of my favorites. He teaches communication from the perspective of a Zen Buddhist monk, with a focus on simplicity, openness, compassion, curiosity, and tender-hearted bravery.

A few other favorite authors, books, and podcasts: Gerald Durrell; Kurt Vonnegut; Pema Chödrön; Marshal Rosenberg; The Happiness Hypothesis; Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman; Dharma Punx; Cryptonomicon; Good Omens; In Defense of Food; Cooking For Geeks; The Flavor Bible; Moosewood Cookbooks; Snow Crash; The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao ; The Moth; TED Talks, 99% Invisible.

Sushi, Tapas, Ethiopian, and Malaysian are among my favorite cuisines. I tend to cook most of my meals at home, a habit that I developed during my 12 years as a vegetarian. My return to meat came with an appreciation for cast iron pans and charcoal grills, including a smoked turkey for Thanksgiving one year. I'm a bit of a beer snob and brewed for two years, though I prefer a nice scotch or anejo these days. And then there's chocolate - 100% ideally, though I will make an exception for the hot chocolate at Burdick's.

My taste in music is somewhat eclectic. I'm drawn to music with soul, meaningful lyrics, internal development, and rolling syncopated beats. I appreciate electro-swing, blues, sea shanties, hang drums, 80s nostalgia, Mumford & Sons, Lumineers, Rodrigo y Gabriella, Billy Joel, Tom Waits, Dresden Dolls, Grieves, Beats Antique, Glitch Mob, Massive Attack, Moby, Portishead, old Radio one essential mixes, and a wide variety of other artists.

I appreciate British comedy, especially Eddie Izzard, Dylan Moran, and Mitchell & Webb. A few films and shows: Good Bye, Lenin!; Shortbus; Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog; Amelie; Up; How To Train Your Dragon; Dr Who; Firefly; Sherlock; Daily Show; Colbert Report.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- Where to travel next
- My goals for the next few years
- What aspects of my life enhance it, and which are simply habits
- Buddhist philosophy and cognitive science
- Compassionate communication
- Making more time for meditation and time by the water

I read and study a fair amount, with 30+ non-fiction books and 5 online classes in the past year. I'm currently focusing on computer science, math, communication, cognitive science, and Buddhist philosophy. I also read and discuss articles on feminism, gender issues, and social justice issues frequently.

The poem Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye is something that resonates for me. I find that the most difficult periods of your life are also the periods that teach you the most about kindness and the subtle beauties of the world.
On a typical Friday night I am
Seeing a show at the Oberon or A.R.T, at an amusingly themed party, out to a local club (of the non-bro variety), studying on Coursera or Khan Academy, visiting a museum, or off on an adventure.

This note from my doctor summarizes one such evening, and pleases me immensely:
"Mr. _____ is seen today on a walk-in basis for evaluation and treatment secondary to a scapholunate injury that he sustained in November of last year. He reports that he was repeatedly hitting zombies with a Nerf hatchet and exacerbated an existing old injury"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I tend to take long breaks between relationships. This allows me to cultivate my own sense peace and joy outside the context of a relationship, and also allows me to learn and grow from whatever came before.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
I enjoy a wide range of personalities and interests, though ultimately I am looking for someone who is ready for a serious relationship and has the right blend of the cozy and the kinetic, lightness and depth, passion and peace, a playful mind, a spark of curiosity, and a warm compassionate heart.

Are you someone who grows through travel, perks up at the idea of adventure, and finds that love is in the little moments of each day - cooking together, curled up with a book by the fireplace, sharing little moments of kindness?

That would be perfect, and I'd love to talk to you. Having a fascinating story of how we met would be better, but life is about creating new stories - not waiting for one to come to you.