I apologize in advance for what you're about to read and I don't blame you if you stop. Major props if you get all the way through.
I'm way too long-winded in these things, so I will try to keep things succinct. (I failed- sorry if it's overwhelming. Better to find out the stuff that'll scare you off sooner than later, right?)
I also COULD make this profile fun and witty but I'd rather you learn the facts and THEN find out how cool I really am. :)
I'm self-employed and own my own business. I live at home with my parents - I'm very family-oriented and it makes financial sense as my business is located very close to my home. I'm extremely close to my family and I treasure all the time I spend with them. They're so important to me. If this is a problem to you then just walk away. I'd prefer to get involved with someone that has a good relationship with their family members. You don't have to be super tight with them, but I appreciate someone that cares a lot about their family.
I used to be a very outgoing and extroverted person, but over the past couple years I've become more of an outgoing introvert. I still have a habit of becoming overly chatty, but for the most part I've managed to calm that down a bit.
I am really bad at small talk, so if you ask me a question in a message and I answer it, you'll likely notice that I don't ask you one back.
It's not (always) because I don't want to hear about you. It's (usually) because I'm awkward.
I'm pretty pessimistic when it comes to relationships. At my age dating is really hard... you have to open yourself up to someone new and learn to trust them and risk being hurt or discovering they're a piece of shit. If I'm being completely honest, I'm terrified of that. I deserve better than that.
I'm looking for someone that will make me feel special. Make me feel like I'm one of the most important people in the world. That I'm the most beautiful person they've ever met. I don't want to be showered with attention, but I want to feel loved. But I still need that connection- we need to get along and have things in common.
I'm always worried that the type of person I want as a companion won't be the type to use a dating website- so if you feel like this is something awkward for you that's probably a good sign.
I'm not interested if you're cocky or arrogant (okay a little arrogance isn't terrible), or somehow think you're better than me. I'm also not into the hippie-granola types. It's just not my style.
"This chick literally... LITERALLY drinks adrenaline and pisses diamonds. If you're looking to get thrown around the bedroom like a ragdoll, this is your girl. Before she'd even date me she said I had to pin her in the ring. Sounded kinky. In the end she let me win, probably felt sorry for me. Most of the date, though, she spent in front of the mirror flexing muttering things. I dunno, I think she named her muscles. Oh and she made me call her Thunderbird.
9 outta 10. Totally date her again. I mean who wouldn't put up with a redheads bullshit, right? Shwing!"
- Doctor Noise
"One time I asked her what her favorite recipe was so we could do a recipe exchange. She looked at me and said 'Nah, son, the only real recipe I know is for happiness in life.' I thought that was deep but didn't really answer my question. We don't have her around for recipe exchange anymore."
- Professor Pher
"I once saw her eat an entire apple."
"This one time, this girl beat me up while singing about a Christmas tree."
*all my friends make shit up