On the surface, I am a professional family man, but I have a subversive, countercultural heart that many don't see. I founded a nonprofit which is still going and helps a lot of people in Portland. I aspire to be like the Yes Men or Bill Hicks, delivering critical social commentary in the form of humor to broad audiences, if possible. The whole having-kids-and-a-mortgage, and being divorced, has taken just a wee bit of that time away from me, but I keep jotting down notes, occasional stories, ideas for performing stand up, making fun of the status quo, and this crazy idea I have for starting a business writing sarcastic letters for people, if only they'll send all the details of someone or some group that screwed them over along with some of their hard earned money.

I ride my bike everywhere and would even if it were more expensive.

I often don't take care of myself, for example right now, I'm home sick and should be sleeping, but instead I'm trying to make myself look attractive in order to get a date. Is this essay helping? Not sure. Should have done some yoga and made some tea.

Rediscovering the ideals of my youth. Trying to become a writer. Maybe doing stand-up/social commentary. I also am heavily involved with my kids.

Making folks laugh. Parenting. Tripping and falling (I'm a master). Procrastinating (I'm the king).

Eyelashes. Tall & Dark. Smile. My bling, hubcaps, and gold fillings.

Books: Steinbeck, "East of Eden." Ayn Rand, "The Fountainhead." Jack Kerouac, "The Dharma Bums." Vonnegut, "Timequake!" and "Galapagos." Charles Bukowski, "Ham on Rye." "Chicken Soup for Soul." Tom Wolfe, "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test." Ken Kesey, "Sailor's Song." Hunter S Thompson, "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas."

Magazines: The Sun. Vogue. Brain Child. Scientific American.

Heroes: Bill Hicks, George Carlin, The Yes Men, George Bush, Paul Krassner, Jesus (don't believe in much of the bible, just love his sermons).

Poetry: Beatnik, mostly. Allen Ginsberg, "Howl" & "Sunflower Sutra." Also remember loving the Romantic poets but can't remember any specifics. Keats? Wordsworth? Not sure. Anything by Andrew Dice Clay.

Movies: Kafka, Rushmore, the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Donnie Darko, Empire Strikes Back, The Yes Men, Pulp Fiction, Ron Fricke's "Baraka."

humor, my family, my bicycle, time in the woods, spandex, learning new things (way too curious, I am), do-gooder tree-hugging community-minded folk.

Why don't they ask us what we wouldn't mind having MORE of? I want: travel, in-house servants who work for free (attractive & scantily clad would be a bonus), money (just a tad bit more, to ease our stress), dates, time, articles being published in major media outlets authored by me.

My writing, my family. I often wonder if I'm doing all those things I've always dreamed of doing. Recently I've come to believe in magic, clairvoyance, premonitions, etc. and it has occupied my thoughts a lot.

If I'm writing a story, it consumes me for a day or two.

If the future generation will remember the importance of nature.

How it's all going to work out.

Fucking tired. Sorry, but I have two little kids plus a full time job that is tiring and very much like Fridays on the couch watching a movie. Or, it could be with you.

Ask me about Saturdays. Much more exciting.

That I'm a tree-hugging environmentalist that doesn't believe the global warming debate has been decided (makes it hard to get invited back to hippie parties, especially in Portland).

But that's boring and not why you go on these sites, is it? Okay, I like to dress up as a woman if my significant other is into it.

Okay, okay, I just like to dress up as a woman, but if you like it, it's that much better.

you like talking about interesting things. If you can dole out some sass (love that).

If you just have a question but don't want to date. Men aren't exactly flooded with emails on this site, you know. We've got time on our hands.

If you guessed which of my supposed favorites I threw in as a joke.