I have friends from many different backgrounds and faiths
(sorry, guys, she's taken), IngratiatingNam
but this time around
I'm here specifically for dating, so please don't message me unless
you are a Christian virgin who doesn't drink or smoke. (I do make
an exception for widowers, and guys whose virginity was taken
against their consent.)
You ought to be more intelligent than average, or we will drive
each other nuts. However, I consider kindness and consideration
more important than intellect.
While I am here mainly for dating this time, I still would want to
establish something of a friendship first, so to start out I'd want
to keep things light and casual. It makes for stronger long term
relationships (and less hard feelings if we don't work out).
This is my second time on okcupid. I met some good friends the
first time around, but I'm just here for dating this time. Again
I'm busy [like super-mega-busy], so I can't take the time to gently
reply to everyone like I have in the past.
DON'T MESSAGE ME (CAUSE I WON'T REPLY):
1. To argue some point about my religious preferences.
2. To ask how an intelligent person can be a Christian. I have a
long and detailed answer, and while I might be willing, in a good
mood, to cut and paste it to you, you deserve to be ignored for
3. If you can't think of anything to say other than "hi". [hint:
Ideal first contact messages are 1-3 paragraphs in length. I
usually check guys' profiles before replying, so don't just cut and
paste from your profile.]
3b. Please don't interview me. It's one thing to ask a burning
question or two, but I keep running into conversations where I get
asked question after question without much feedback and they get
tiresome. Pretend I might actually be interested in learning a
little bit about "you"....at least answer the question you asked me
or comment on my answer before throwing out another.
3c. And please keep in mind the whole SUPERMEGABUSY thing...if my
answers are kind of short, that's probably why. Not blowing you off
when I say I'm busy...it's just a statement of fact.
4. If you haven't read my profile. [I can tell.]
5. If you are not a virgin (and I don't mean just technically...my
two exceptions listed above).
5b. This includes Divorcees. It's not that I think less of you. I
just know what is right for ME, and I don't date divorced
5b-2. I can't take time to reply to you guys any more. You all have
a sob story. I'm sorry you didn't choose wisely or that she
suddenly grew a third head, but that wasn't my fault. Please
respect my wishes. It's not simply a matter of ethics but
psychology. *I* need to be first. I'm just gonna be selfish that
way. Really, I hate writing rejection letters, so I'm gonna stop
now and just not reply.
6. If you smoke. [If you're trying to quit, I applaud you, but quit
contact me. I am allergic. It's a real health
7. If you drink or would be unwilling to give it up. I hate alcohol
with a passion.
8. Do not message me to debate with me the merits/ethics of alcohol
unless you're interested in dating me and willing to at least
personally give it up.
9. Do not message me to debate any of my standards or requirements.
There are plenty of other nice girls out there. Try them.
9a. Do not message me to lecture or enlighten me or "burst my
bubble". You only get a very small slice of what I believe and who
I am from this profile. It's not enough to put you in a position to
criticize constructively. You look far more arrogant than I do when
you try. (If you actually know me and are in a position to observe
my life and actions, that's a different story.)
10. If you are a racist. I can't tolerate racism.
11. If you can not follow basic rules of grammar and spelling. (I
can forgive a few mistakes, but make an effort. I'm a writer at the
core, so the English language is a great love of mine. I don't like
to see it neglected or abused.)
11b. To make a letter capital, you hold down your shift key while
pressing it. If you lack the skill to do this, I will find your
messages painful to read and most likely won't reply. Proof reading
shows consideration. [Exceptions will be made for men possessing
only one finger.]
12. If you have looking for "casual encounters" (i.e. sex partners)
on your profile.
13. If you're not a born again Christian.
13a. We're all growing, but I'd really prefer someone with some
level of spiritual maturity. I enjoy discussing theology.
13b. I'm nondenominational, with an interest in Messianic Judaism
Jewish roots of Christianity. I'm not Catholic, and I have too many
issues with Catholic church to ever be Catholic. So if the Catholic
denomination is important to you, I'm not your girl. If you can be
polite, I am willing to discuss my reasons, but you should be aware
my stance is unlikely to change on this point.
14. If you can't live without a dog. (I have nothing against
dog-lovers, but I do have a phobia. I'm working on it, but dogs
still make me far too nervous to ever dream of living with one.)
It's not that I mind getting contacted by a dog-lover, but it's
really sad to get rejected over a pet (you might be suprised how
often this has happened...) so spare my poor feelings and don't get
my hopes up.
15. If you're more than 10 years older than me. I struggled with
this one for a bit, because philosophically, I don't think there's
necessarily anything wrong with an age gap. However, I have to
admit that 10 years either way is my comfort level and dating
outside my comfort level is not a good thing.
16. If you're long distance and not willing/able to put the effort
in. I've seen people make long distance work, but it takes money
(for travel) and dedication. I can provide dedication, but I'm
rather short on cash and probably will be for a while (writer). So
for long distance, I require you visit me before I get to excited
about the idea. If things go well, I'll do my best to visit you in
return, set aside time for phone calls, etc. but unfortunately the
lionshare of travel expenses is going to fall on you until my
career takes off or I give up and get a "real job". If you're okay
with this, I'm game to try, but really give it some thought, before
charming me with your awesome-(but sorry you can't have
NB: My list has absolutely nothing to do with whether I think
you're a good person or a good Christian. It has to do with my
personal needs and requirements, which I have come to after a lot
of thought and prayer. For example Feasul
is one of my best friends and a great
person, but he and I agree that us dating would be a bad, bad
P.S. Yes, I have a sister harmony713
. No, she's nothing like me.