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negativeKay

33 F Hermitage, TN

My Details

Last Online
Today – 9:19pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Christianity, and very serious about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Dislikes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Please read my entire profile before contacting me. If you don't, I probably won't respond. I'm a super-mega-busy person.

I'm a healthy Christian virgin who doesn't drink or smoke seeking the same, only in male form. (If you don't fit that basic profile, please stop reading and go check out one of the other lovely ladies on this site. This will save both of us time and grief.)

I'm very blunt/honest/straight forward, but I like to shake things up and do the unexpected. I try to be kind to everyone, but I have a natural tendency to be a bit withdrawn (because I'm thinking) which turns some people off.

I don't sound very funny in this profile, but I do have a fun side. I can usually make people laugh when I want, but I like to have deep conversations too. I don't feel obligated to be happy all the time.

The screen name is a science joke. Also I'm a bit of pessimist.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm taking three years to try to support myself with my writing and design work.

Currently trying to promote my budgeting book and finish the fantasy novels and scripts I've started, as well as maintain my cafepress shop. I also write a lot of song lyrics. I sing but don't play an instrument, so the song writing has taken a back burner to my novel writing.

But recording an album is on my bucket list.

My sister is a single parent with a full time job, so I'm helping raise my nephew. He's 5 and in school.

I also teach a preschool age Sunday school class. Trying to work out regularly again and squeeze in some time for friends and family. (Could probably benefit from a workout partner... though I'd like to meet up in public places before going on secluded greenway jogs. I am a fan of online dating and have met several people from this site, but I keep it safe by having strict rules.)
I’m really good at
Problem solving, writing, and working with kids, particularly preschoolers.
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically: My long hair.

Personality wise: My intelligence. (Yeah, I know...but I've met too many people who've commented on it after a few minutes of conversation...after a while you just accept certain things about yourself.)

I've also had people comment on how quiet I am...but that depends a lot on the situation. I'm not sure if it's a "first thing" they notice, since it's usually more like "whoa, you've been here for an hour? You were so quiet, I didn't even notice you come in." But then...I have my loquacious moments too.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I love a lot of classics like Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, Twain, Robert Louis Stevenson, Jules Verne, Uncle Tom's Cabin...I read all of Jane Austen's books...liked half of them. I enjoy sci-fi, fantasy, and read a lot of children's books. The Thrawn Trilogy (Star Wars) is one of my all time favorites. I'm also fond of Harry Potter (though I think the last two books were rushed).

Movies: Fiddler on the Roof, Run Lola Run, the original Star Wars trilogy, The Princess Bride

Music: I have very eclectic tastes, right now I'm mostly into Musicals and Alternative. But I also listen to classical, pop, electronica, even Bollywood when the mood strikes. Venus Hum, Nickel Creek, and Cold Play are some of my favorite groups. I have a growing fondness for Owl City and Mumford and Sons.

Food: Italian, Chinese, and Japanese are my favorite, but I enjoy trying new things. Not a big fan of Mexican or really spicy stuff. In the classic female style, I do love chocolate, but I'm trying to moderate that.
The six things I could never do without
God, air, music, food, books, and my computer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The best way to build my business. Plots, characters, song lyrics...random day dreaming, pondering metaphysics. I'm slowly developing my own educational system.

I don't constantly think about this, but seemed like a good place to put it:

I'm really not interested in having biological children. If I did compromise on that point, I'd still insist on adopting first and having no more than 2 kids total. (As someone who's spent over a decade doing childcare and loves kids, I have a lot of reasons for this.) I've always felt like I was supposed to adopt... but recently, probably with the full time live in nephew on the heels of so many years of childcare...I could use a kid free year or two. Been thinking more about foster parenting too.
On a typical Friday night I am
On my computer, roleplaying and/or writing. USA moved my Friday night TV shows...so now I'm putting my nephew to bed and doing something quiet to catch my breath after the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I guess the virgin thing. In general I'm a very open person, at least in the regard that I don't keep many secrets about myself.

I'm also a psychopath. Not in the sense that I want to hurt people (most psychopaths are not violent). But I generally process things like a Vulcan, thinking through rather than feeling through it. A friend of mine suggested it might be Asperger's (ala Bones), but when I read up on it, just didn't fit in the same way. When I read through Dr. Hare's non-violent psychopathy traits, it's feels very familiar.

If I haven't successfully scared you away yet, you can read on to my super strict contact list.
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 20–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
I have friends from many different backgrounds and faiths ex.PoisonedPeach (sorry, guys, she's taken), IngratiatingNam but this time around I'm here specifically for dating, so please don't message me unless you are a Christian virgin who doesn't drink or smoke. (I do make an exception for widowers, and guys whose virginity was taken against their consent.)

You ought to be more intelligent than average, or we will drive each other nuts. However, I consider kindness and consideration more important than intellect.

While I am here mainly for dating this time, I still would want to establish something of a friendship first, so to start out I'd want to keep things light and casual. It makes for stronger long term relationships (and less hard feelings if we don't work out).

This is my second time on okcupid. I met some good friends the first time around, but I'm just here for dating this time. Again I'm busy [like super-mega-busy], so I can't take the time to gently reply to everyone like I have in the past.

DON'T MESSAGE ME (CAUSE I WON'T REPLY):

1. To argue some point about my religious preferences.

2. To ask how an intelligent person can be a Christian. I have a long and detailed answer, and while I might be willing, in a good mood, to cut and paste it to you, you deserve to be ignored for your rudeness.

3. If you can't think of anything to say other than "hi" or "how are you?". [hint: Ideal first contact messages are 1-3 paragraphs in length. I usually check guys' profiles before replying, so don't just cut and paste from your profile.]

3b. Please don't interview me. It's one thing to ask a burning question or two, but I keep running into conversations where I get asked question after question without much feedback and they get tiresome. Pretend I might actually be interested in learning a little bit about "you"....at least answer the question you asked me or comment on my answer before throwing out another.

3c. And please keep in mind the whole SUPERMEGABUSY thing...if my answers are kind of short, that's probably why. Not blowing you off when I say I'm busy...it's just a statement of fact.

3d. Asking "How are you?" is polite on occasion. But if you ask in every single reply, I'm likely to just stop talking to you. Particularly if it's the only thing you ask. I'm here to find people for potential meeting up and going out, not online chatting, and definitely not recounting my day on a daily basis in text form.

4. If you haven't read my profile. [I can tell.]

5. If you are not a virgin (and I don't mean just technically...my two exceptions listed above).

5b. This includes Divorcees. It's not that I think less of you. I just know what is right for ME, and I don't date divorced men.

5b-2. I can't take time to reply to you guys any more. You all have a sob story. I'm sorry you didn't choose wisely or that she suddenly grew a third head, but that wasn't my fault. Please respect my wishes. It's not simply a matter of ethics but psychology. *I* need to be first. I'm just gonna be selfish that way. Really, I hate writing rejection letters, so I'm gonna stop now and just not reply.

6. If you smoke. [If you're trying to quit, I applaud you, but quit first then contact me. I am allergic. It's a real health issue.]

7. If you drink or would be unwilling to give it up. I hate alcohol with a passion.

8. Do not message me to debate with me the merits/ethics of alcohol unless you're interested in dating me and willing to at least personally give it up.

9. Do not message me to debate any of my standards or requirements. There are plenty of other nice girls out there. Try them.

9a. Do not message me to lecture or enlighten me or "burst my bubble". You only get a very small slice of what I believe and who I am from this profile. It's not enough to put you in a position to criticize constructively. You look far more arrogant than I do when you try. (If you actually know me and are in a position to observe my life and actions, that's a different story.)

10. If you are a racist. I can't tolerate racism.

11. If you can not follow basic rules of grammar and spelling. (I can forgive a few mistakes, but make an effort. I'm a writer at the core, so the English language is a great love of mine. I don't like to see it neglected or abused.)

11b. To make a letter capital, you hold down your shift key while pressing it. If you lack the skill to do this, I will find your messages painful to read and most likely won't reply. Proof reading shows consideration. [Exceptions will be made for men possessing only one finger.]

12. If you have looking for "casual encounters" (i.e. sex partners) on your profile.

13. If you're not a born again Christian.

13a. We're all growing, but I'd really prefer someone with some level of spiritual maturity. I enjoy discussing theology.

13b. I'm nondenominational, with an interest in Messianic Judaism/the Jewish roots of Christianity. I'm not Catholic, and I have too many issues with Catholic church to ever be Catholic. So if the Catholic denomination is important to you, I'm not your girl. If you can be polite, I am willing to discuss my reasons, but you should be aware my stance is unlikely to change on this point.

13c. Getting kind of annoyed with holier-than-thou messages from other "Christians" who think I'm being too judgmental. I'm not God, just a single woman. Don't confuse judgment with discernment. I could not possibly date every single man on earth even if I wanted to, so I need ways to narrow the selection. You'd be surprised how many guys do fit the basics of what I'm looking for. If that isn't you, don't worry, I'm not saying you're unworthy of love or less of a man, you're just not the man I'm looking for. I'm not asking for anything I'm not offering, so don't tell me my standards are some impossible bar of perfection. I fit them, and I'm not perfect. I'm not waiting for Jesus. I already have Jesus, and I'm generally content with my life. Just staying open to the possibility of someone making it even better.

14. If you can't live without a dog. (I have nothing against dog-lovers, but I do have a phobia. I'm working on it, but dogs still make me far too nervous to ever dream of living with one.) It's not that I mind getting contacted by a dog-lover, but it's really sad to get rejected over a pet (you might be suprised how often this has happened...) so spare my poor feelings and don't get my hopes up.

15. If you're more than 10 years older than me. I struggled with this one for a bit, because philosophically, I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with an age gap. However, I have to admit that 10 years either way is my comfort level and dating outside my comfort level is not a good thing.

16. If you're long distance and not willing/able to put the effort in. I've seen people make long distance work, but it takes money (for travel) and dedication. I can provide dedication, but I'm rather short on cash and probably will be for a while (writer). So for long distance, I require you visit me before I get too excited about the idea. If things go well, I'll do my best to visit you in return, set aside time for phone calls, etc. but unfortunately the lionshare of travel expenses is going to fall on you until my career takes off or I give up and get a "real job". If you're okay with this, I'm game to try, but really give it some thought, before charming me with your awesome-(but sorry you can't have me)-ness.

16a. If you are local, I'd much rather meet for a coffee/tea/ice cream or lunch and chat, rather than exchange 100 messages first. (A few for initial introduction and screening questions are fine.) My first date rules involve keeping it casual, meeting in a well lit, public place and coming in my own car. I've tried to train myself to be gracious when guy offers to pay, but I don't expect it, particularly not on a first date. I do look for red flags and will decline if I spot any, but beyond that I'm here to get out of the house, not sit at my computer more.

17. To ask for feedback on your story or poem. It's great that you write really. It's okay to mention the fact you write. If you want to share the link to your writing/creative website that's fine as long as you understand I may not have time to read it. But I'm really not exaggerating about the BUSY, and the majority of my time is spent either writing or editing or reading or working on the business end of writing. The last thing I want on okcupid is another person asking me to read their story/poem. Firstly, I'm here for a change of pace, and secondly, I'm a brutally honest critic. I'm always grateful when I mention my book and someone is intrigued enough to buy it. But I talk about my writing because that's where my blood, sweat, and tears are. It's not a sales pitch. It's just the thing I do, and it's a whole lot easier to send someone a link than write out a fresh synopsis. If you don't buy my book, that's okay. It won't count against you. Later on, if we form a relationship or friendship, and/or I ask to see something you wrote that's a different story. But DO NOT send me your story or poem unless I ASK to see it. And don't ask for feedback unless you're open to a critique and want to see my negative side. (I actually don't mind critiques on my writing, but the qualities I look for in a critic and in a boyfriend may not be the same.)

NB: My list has absolutely nothing to do with whether I think you're a good person or a good Christian. It has to do with my personal needs and requirements, which I have come to after a lot of thought and prayer. For example Feasul is one of my best friends and a great person, but he and I agree that us dating would be a bad, bad thing. (And now he has a girlfriend that he met on this site...so see, it does work.)

P.S. Yes, I have a sister harmony713. No, she's nothing like me.