Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi! My name is Erik and I'm a writer, artist and corporate drone
(along with about a zillion other -ers and -ists. Seriously, a
verbal self-portrait? Words are insufficient).
I live in Boulder County, though not in Boulder proper (so you know
I'm grounded). In my free time... well, if I had any free time, I
(totally a word), geocaching
, and designing toys
. I don't do World of Warcraft, but I'm
an avid Kingdom of Loathing
And I'm not as pretentious in real life as I seem here.
I love to travel and I've lived all over the United States. Coast
to coast, north to south. It's not that I'm on the run from
creditors or in the witness protection program, it's just life
happens... you know? Consequentially I have a subtle, strange
accent with a slight southern drawl spiked with Canadian vowel
sounds. Y'all want to go oout in the boout? It's not that bad
(disclaimer: it's pretty close). When I was taking Japanese the
teacher wanted to know why I spoke Japanese with a French accent. I
I am easily distract-ooh!, hyphen-prone, and former-nomad.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My current title includes "manager", though I prefer to lead. 119
people's livelihoods depend on my decisions - which totally doesn't
keep me up at night. I work at a three letter acronym in Boulder
County: you may be able to see through my clever obfuscation.
I used to call myself a professional author, as the food I ate was
bought with the words I wrote. My first and second books are
available for purchase and are probably in the top million on
Amazon [edit: two million [edit edit: four million [edit edit edit:
forget about it] ] ]. I'm working on the fourth.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Just about everything I try. Sorta good anyway. Adequate, at the
barest minimum. I travel well and try to take good pictures (my
secret: take a lot of pictures). I think I'm an ok cook but many I
cook for say I should open a restaurant. I think I'm a fair writer
but those who read my work can't stop until they reach the end.
Again... not this pretentious in real life. I prefer to tend
towards modesty, but upon looking back at my answers, that's not
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Uh... my hair? I can't do a thing with it and it's been that way
for at least fifteen years. Otherwise, I try to blend into the
crowd, outside of subtle signs that I'm cool to like-minded
individuals. Blending-in lets me accomplish my nefarious plans with
a minimum of interference. It also mitigates social anxiety.
Also, whenever I'm outside I'm wearing sunglasses. On sunny days
over my eyes. On cloudy days perched on the top of my head (in case
the sun comes out). I'd like to say it's more because of the Timbuk
3 song, rather than the Corey Hart song, but the truth is that I'm
extremely photosensitive and sneeze loudly and repeatedly when I
see the sun. Obviously, this could be a problem when driving. Hence
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
, Colleen Coover
, Roald Dahl
, James Kochalka
, Carl Barks
, Michael Chabon
, Spider Robinson
, Scott McCloud
so much non-fiction. The last five books I read were Devil in the
, The Best American Travel Writing (2003), Y: The Last Man
(volume 5), Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick
, Ender's Shadow by
(though I wish his politics weren't so depressing) and The
Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien
, Duck Soup
, Walk Hard: The
Dewey Cox Story
, Christopher Guest
Hedwig and the Angry
, The Big Lebowski
, Cohen Brother
with Steve Zissou
, Mike Doughty
, The Rheostatics
, Ryan Adams
, Sarah Harmer
, Soul Coughing
, Miracle Legion
, Dar Williams
, Jenny Lewis
, The Police
, Rilo Kiley
, Moxy Fruvous
, Paul Simon
, Joel Plaskett
, Caitlin Cary
, Alabama Shakes
, Black Carl
Virtually all foods (except eggs, because they are gross).
Particularly sushi, Thai, Szechuan, Indian, properly prepared
steak, anything on a stick, Mediterranean... I'm getting hungry
just writing this up!
(E) Idiot Box: Archer
, Parks and Rec
, Arrested Development
Second through Seventh Season Simpsons
, The Adventures of
Pete and Pete
, Home Movies
(at least portions) and Community
. The new season of
may be the
best TV ever. I think I've gotten over my Rachel Ray
crush. But my Amy Goodman
is as strong as ever.
(F) Other: NPR
, Animal Crossing
, 1000 Blank White
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Increasingly, Firefox's spellcheck. Also: The sun. Not solely for
the photosynthesis, mind you! Ooh, good friends are vital. I'm
extremely enthusiastic about my new electric teakettle (For tea,
cocoa, instant oatmeal. It's great!). It's been pointed out to me I
would probably die without my iPhone (though it can't replace my
SLR). Oh, my tiny daughter: forget the rest.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Spelling and punctuation. Does everyone think about it that much or
do I just really have to work at it. Are there those with native
superspelling powers? Are their lives limited in other ways? I
wonder if I could deal with having no sense of smell if I could be
assured that ever sentence I typed would be properly spelled and
punctuated. Would I still be able to taste if my sense of smell
were removed in such a hypothetical bargain? I hate how when
someone says "I have a hypothetical for you", it never is. It's
like that song that isn't ironic.
Amazingly, I still am able to function normally in modern
I also spend a lot of time thinking about the nature of free will.
I believe in it, despite mounting evidence to the contrary. At
least, I'd like to think I chose to believe in it. One can never
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Trying to combine Karaoke and Trivia in an unholy union of
Otherwise hanging out with friends misspending an evening after a
week's worth of work. Every other week making popcorn in pajamas.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I will throw you the idol if you throw me the whip.
Folk legend Tom Paxton hates me.
I'm quite ticklish.
I have a pathological fear of losing my keys in a movie
Oh and I'm a unmarried male who owns a minivan. It's practical! But
I need to paint flames or skulls on it so people don't get the idea
that I'm not a single guy.
I once accidentally shouted out Warren Beatty's name during
I guess that's five things. I have more.
Edit: it's been suggested that certain private things I've
mentioned are... less than masculine. To that I say: I spent more
on illegal fireworks last year than I spent on shoes. What could be
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're not a robot or autonomous software agent or spam harvester
or trying to get me to join some pay site somewhere.
Only humans (or robots that can pass a Turing test) need apply!
Seriously, when I was a kid I would have killed to talk to a
real, live robot. Seriously: If the phone rang and there was a
chance it could be 1970s Artoo-Detoo rather than a robomarketeer?
The future is disappointing.
Anyway, if you're within driving distance and want to go to the
movies or just want to say hi. You needn't be within driving
distance to say hi. Or if you want to exchange mixtapes. Or mixCDs.
Or even plain old lists of songs. Viva the new frontier!
Or if you want to message me. You have free will (and hence:
not a robot).
Oh, just do it: I'll write you back.
Edit: I don't know if robots heed my warning or OKCupid is
doing a better job of filtering the mechanized masses, but only
humans have been messaging me. We will win the battle against our
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.