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32 Baltimore, MD Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24-40
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Nov 25
Relationship Type
5' 3" (1.60m)
Body Type
Full figured
Atheism and laughing about it
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
Has cats
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

I have met someone awesome and we just agreed to not see other people. I am leaving this up due to The X Files test I wrote that for some reason I am exceedingly proud of. I hope you meet someone that you want to be exclusive with too. Good luck in your search.

Hello to whoever is reading my profile. I'm Nerbie Q. Pants. I'm 32 years old and a graduate from the College of Notre Dame of Maryland aka CONDOM in Baltimore, Md. I want to someday teach college in Psychology, hopefully something Experimental. I'm a freak who enjoyed stats class. I consider myself to be a feminist and am a proud Women's College grad. I spend a lot of time hanging out with my awesome friends and my awesome roommates and really enjoy playing games, especially Scrabble, Dominion, Rumikub, Apples to Apples , Qwirkle, Settlers of Catan, Cards Against Humanity, and Castle Risk. According to the Myers Brigg I'm an ENTP. I'm not a big fan of heights. I love the water and pretty much anything you can do that involves it. I want to learn how to sail. I'm listed as bisexual on here because I like boys and I like girls and I like girls who like boys who do boys who do girls(Always should be someone you really loooooove) (I appologize for the random blur lyric tangent.) But I hate the connotations of that word and I don't make out with girls to get attention from guys either. I am a socially awkward penguin.


As of August 2015 I am out in Ohio for a few months in Cleveland. I was driving out to visit my brother and cousins. Long story short I got in a pretty serious car accident in Youngstown, Ohio and am now in rehab at Hanna House in Cleveland at University Hospital with a broken leg and broken wrist. The scar from the surgery from my broken wrist makes it look like I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists and had bad aim, haha.

Further update: As of the Wednesday before Halloween I am now back in Maryland and still in a wheel chair. My leg is broken but not my spirit! I have about 5 more weeks before I can weight bear on my foot and leg. That being said I can still leave my house for fun and Doctor's appointments. I am always looking for new friends, etc.

I am eccentric, vibrant, and busy
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Reading Textbooks, Attending a Master's program, reading, traveling to different places, Netflix on demand, Recreation, Attending Nude Beaches, obsessing over The X Files, LOST The Lives of Mayfair Witches books, The Dark Tower Books, Everclear, Futurama and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Loving my wonderful cat. Yelling obscene things at Hopkins freshman from my front porch. Rooting for the Capitals. Learning. Wasting hours on end looking up random shit on wikipedia. I <3 statistics. I also love to kayak.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Wasting time on the internet.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my hair which is quite long.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A: The Dark Tower Books, IT (Anything Stephen King), All of the Kushiel's Books by Jacqueline Carey, The Lives of Mayfair Witches Books, Anita Blake (The part of the series before it became a gigantic orgy) Rachel Morgan Books, Various Bits of Shakespeare, The Great Gatsby, Thursday Next, Vampire Chronicles, Jane Eyre, Anything Thomas Harris, Ken Follett, Harry Potter, Dune, The Little Prince, Speak, American Gods, Anna Karenina, Xanth, books by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, Watchmen

B: Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, 10 Things I hate about you, the first two X Men movies and First Class, Zoolander, Children of Men, Lord of the Rings, Female Trouble, Half Baked, Airheads, Rocky Horror, American Beauty, 1776, The Fifth Element, All three Harold and Kumar movies, The X Files: Fight the Future, Supertroopers Star Wars

C: The X Files, LOST, Futurama, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, How I met your mother, Arrested Development, the Simpsons, Caps Games, Archer, Game of Thrones

D: Everclear, Mary Prankster, Tom Petty, Rage Against the Machine, Little Richard, Adele, Bush, Depeche Mode, Bikini Kill, Counting Crows, Jack off Jill, The Smiths, L7, Bright Eyes, Dashboard Confessional(I try not to be emo but fail.), Weird Al, Ani, Marvelous 3, Violent Femmes, Sleater-Kinney, Mathew Good Band, Babes in Toyland, Barenaked Ladies, Joydrop, Further Seems Forever, Suzanne Vega, Toadies, My Ruin, Q and Not U, John Denver, Veruca Salt, Garbage, Liz Phair but I hate the new albums, Jackson Browne, Random Disney Music, The Dresden Dolls, Harry and the Potters, RDGLDGRN, Lauryn Hill, The Dixie Chicks, Mary J Blige, Flobots, Adele, R.E.M., Tupac, Rent, The Beatles, Hole, mc chris

E: Cheese, especially Humboldt Fog, Pesto, peas, hummus, escargot, peanut sauce, sushi
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Something to read, Someone interesting to talk to, My 3 favorite TV shows (Lost, The X Files and Futurama), Somewhere to swim, My family and The outdoors.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whatever I'm reading at the time. Feminism. Variables. The Dark Tower books. Inappropriate things. Getting a master's. Where I want to go in life and the world. Research. The future. Marsupials. Work. Decorating my room. Regression. Places I want to travel to. Cheap ways to have fun. Kittens. Kissing Amanda Palmer. Futurama. 42. My cat. My family reunion and how unbelievably awesome it is. ANOVA.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably at a friend's house or hanging out with my room mates. Or out somewhere enjoying some good beer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have lumberjack fantasies. I like nerds with beards. If you don't already have one I might try to get you to grow one.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Men of OKCupid. Please watch THIS.

It explains why you aren't going on quality dates from online dating. Watch it.

I've decided to replace my rant about dating. size and bullshit double standards with some more positive lyrics. Anyway what it all boils down to is don't message me/message me back if you're not interested. Generally I am more of a rock fan but this song has really grown on me:

Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two
But I can shake it, shake it, like I'm supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places

I see the magazine workin' that Photoshop
We know that shit ain't real, come on now, make it stop
If you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Yeah, my mama she told me "don't worry about your size"
(Shoo wop wop, sha-ooh wop wop)
She says, "Boys like a little more booty to hold at night"
(That booty, uh, that booty booty)
You know I won't be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that what you're into, then go 'head and move along

I'm bringing booty back

Go 'head and tell them skinny bitches that
No, I'm just playing, I know you think you're fat
But I'm here to tell you...
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

I want to meet in public and preferably during daylight for our first meeting. Don't try to pressure me into something else.

I am not looking for casual sex. STOP ASKING!!

Oh and no anti choicers.