** I've found a relationship of which I'm half, but if you're into birding, one can never have too many birder penpals and cohorts. **

Liberal, introspective, frugal, ecofriendly, recyclable, verbose, prolix, nerdy cat-lover seeking e-mail/conversation partner, roommate, friend, soulmate, playmate, lover with whom I can watch the world go by. Some camping and birding would very likely be involved, with occasional travel within the US to National Parks, Wildlife Refuges, National Monuments and public lands.

To save you precious time, so you can get on to the next profile, here are some litmus tests you can apply to decide whether to read the rest of this giant tome or not:

1) I don't dance. IF I did dance, it would be humorous.

2) I'm 5' 5" tall, so if you seek a basketball player, move on. I can't even sink a foul shot.

3) I'm an ectomorph. You will not confuse me with a body builder. At 133 pounds, I have not changed since high school and may even shrink a bit as time goes on. I prefer to think of it as "lithe".

4) I own a cat. A cat can be a real pest sometimes, and it gives off allergens. I'm not allergic, but if you are, you may have trouble breathing in my house. Just thought you should know.

If you think the 1960s were cool, and think that being outdoors means an opportunity for peace and quiet, let's go for a walk.

I enjoy birding and photography very much ... photographing birds most of all. Now that I've made it to age 50 I'm beginning to plan ahead for some sort of retirement. I hedged my bets and had a retirement between college graduation and age 36. Only then did I get serious about income. I lived and skiied and hiked and camped in the mountains of Idaho for a long time, but right now I am working full time and will continue to do that until I feel that it is time to retire in a decade or so. In the meantime, I am making an effort to save money for retirement, but still enjoy traveling both near and far.

I don't think I feel, look, or act my age. (UPDATE: I just read a profile where a woman said she never wanted to see that line again. I guess guys say that as often as women say they want to find a man with a sense of humor. Are men really that humorless? Anyway, strike that line and instead insert this one:)

I once visited Pasadena, California. Friends took me to a dining establishment. I tried to order a beer. The waitress took my Idaho driver's license to some dark corner of the place and came back with two off-duty police officers who told me the license was fake and I would not be served. For the record, though I forget the exact year, I know for a fact I was over 36 years old. It was my genuine, government-issued driver's license. They refused to serve me, told me I had an attitude, and I left without getting beaten up, and without getting a beer. True story.

I think I got stuck in a college mind-set and never stopped learning, never stopped questioning authority, never stopped having fun.

I used to think that I was very logical, but now that I've been around the block quite a few times (probably just lost) I have decided that my decisions and actions are made for me by an emotional reaction deep in the repitlian core of my brain and the next 239 milliseconds are spent crafting a nice lawyerly argument to justify why I run screaming in terror from that pop-up IM window that just opened on my computer.

When I think of outdoor activities I think of looking, smelling, hearing. I do not participate in motorized recreation and I don't feel the urge to kill anything to eat or hang on the wall, so I guess I'm not an average Idaho spud. I moved here from Maine, where I was born and raised. My parents were a part of the "Back to the Land Movement" of the late '50s and taught me to garden, and I do try to raise some vegetables here in the high desert, sometimes with minor success.

I have a cat, named Jelly Bean.

I have seen at least four comets in my lifetime, and once I saw a storm of capped column snowflakes. Sometimes flower petals or autumn leaves drop in my path.

I am curious, irreverent, and introverted

I like to check on my 401(k) balance every few hours, to see if I can retire yet.

Nope, not yet.

UPDATE: Nope, still the same ... not yet.

computers, the internet, web page design, photography, math, bird identification, understanding what my cat is trying to say, explaining complex things in a simple way (that's called teaching), making a joke about anything - even if it isn't funny, procrastinating, demanding too much of myself, conserving water and letting the lawn get brown, and rambling on ... can you tell?

Hey, when I see some short profile with two-word answers ... like the most private thing is "duh, private" ... I move on to the next profile.

I'm really good at *writing*.

Sometimes it is best *not* to be noticed.

I have been mistaken for, or compared to: the son of actor Bob Denver (son of Gilligan of 'Gilligan's Island'), Scott Hamilton (it was dark and I'm short and there was an ice rink about a mile away), and recently Paul Simon (I think it was only the haircut, because it certainly wasn't the singing voice).

I read more magazines than books, and Smithsonian is my hands-down favorite. One book I read a lot is The Sibley Guide to Birds, but I mostly just look at the pictures.

I love to watch movies at home in the evening: Sci-Fi, Action, Fantasy, Drama, Vampire, Comedy, Documentary, Bue Planet, PBS, BBC, History, Current Events ... well, just about anything! I prefer a quiet evening at home to going out. Movies I could watch over and over: Armageddon, Quest for Fire, Underworld, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Titanic, Basic Instinct, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Emerald Forest, Total Recall, The Dreamers, Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail. Star Trek, yeah, OK, I don't wear the outfit to jury duty or anything, but I really enjoy the show and do have the red shirt with the emblem on the chest ... the uniform of that guy who never makes it off the planet alive.

I just saw Watchmen. Loved it. Some critics said it was too complex and non-linear. I can deal with flashbacks and non-linear storytelling.

I listen to one of two radio stations when I drive: Classic Rock of the 50s and 60s, or Classical Music. I play CDs of Bach, and love harpsichord music. In my lifetime I have not gone to a lot of live concerts, so it might say something about me to list the five I attended: Emerson, Lake & Palmer; Blue Oyster Cult, Tina Turner, No Doubt, and Psychedelic Furs.

I like Beatles. Pink Floyd. Cars. OMD. If I had to be stuck on a deserted island with the lifetime performances of just one group, let's make it Pink Floyd. "So you think you can tell, heaven from hell ...".

There are some kinds of music that I very rarely listen to, though in any genre there will be some that are keepers. I can't take large doses of Country, Western, or Country *and* Western. There are some kinds of music that sounds like screaming, and I don't like it. Not Punk Rock, some of that was quite good. I think it might be Heavy Metal that I don't really like. (Though the magazine Heavy Metal is quite fascinating, especially for the art. Boris & Julie, Frazetta, and the master: Shirow Masamune! But, I digress.)

For food, give me a pizza and I'm in heaven. For healthy food, I'd have to say wild sockeye salmon with some edamame or Chinese broccoli on the side, and mashed potatoes. Lasagne. Spiced plums cooked from the plum tree in my back yard. Chicken with organic rice and chilli. Sushi (as long as there are no sesame seeds). Bagel with cream cheese and lox. Bacon (which I don't buy because it is so unhealthy).

I notice that a lot of people write "dark chocolate." Is that a female thing? I admit it, I like very dark chocolate. We all know about the chemicals in there.

And, a lot of people put in their profile that they don't like lima beans, or some other food. Is that really a reason to form or break off a relationship? Just to let you know how easygoing I am ... I thought I didn't like cabbage, but last year I harvested a few cabbages from the garden and they were *great* as cole slaw or just steamed! Does this mean that the red cabbage is good, and I was just eating the wrong color?

And now, just one word about chicken feet. Yuck. I don't mean the thigh or leg, I mean the bony foot with toenails. As a kid we raised chickens in the back yard. I've seen where those chickens walk. And, news flash, there's NO MEAT on the foot. On this, I shall remain inflexible. Jellyfish is all right. Tripe is fine, even a little crunchy. But let's just keep the feet on the chickens, OK?

camera

exercise

hopes_and_dreams (it's one thing)

humor

sunshine

***censored*** (OK, what if I just put it this way: erogenous zones. Can I say that here?)

origins.

The entire universe was smaller than the head of a pin? Heavy elements were created in the fusion fire deep in the core of stars? One of those heavier elements, nitrogen, links up convieniently with other elements to form NH2 amino acids and then, once upon a time in a land far, far away these amino acids had a party with enough friends to become self-replicating proteins that went on to act upon a self / non-self recognition protocol for the creation, preservation and sustenance of life?

Go figure.

It seems sort of like those clowns at the circus that keep on coming out of the very tiny car ... more and more clowns, more than could have possibly fit in that small vehicle.

Call it science if you wish. Call it religion if you wish.

Or just stand outside on a clear, cold, magnificent, starry night and let the awe wash over you.

doing the same thing I do on a typical Thursday night. My religion does not celebrate Friday as a special day ... no fish dinner or anything like that. Every day is special. And, I work where the borg collective is active 24-7, and can work (or not work) on any day of the week. Christmas, Sunday, 11:30pm, it's all the same to my employer and the customers who rely on me to tell them to reboot their computer.

Now, if the leading statement is trying to tease out of me what I do on the evening before a day off, well, usually I rest up and get up early to do something fun on my day off, like a drive to the mountains, rivers, or forests to enjoy the outdoors and daylight.

Recently, working to carefully craft my profile on OKCupid so that I will offend those who are not my soulmate. Flag burning ... it ought to be mandatory. I was always taught it was the way to properly dispose of our nation's symbol. I am very patriotic, but my nation is the planet. I think democracy is wonderful, but the representative form of government we currently are exporting is prone to the influence of greed and capitalism. I think my continent is the best, my bioregion is unique, my watershed is pure, and my tribe is ... OK, I'm kind of a loner, an outsider, a wanderer, an observer. I look at the tribe and am aghast at what I see. What a violent, insensitive group! Can I change tribes, please?

Very interesting soul-searching some of these OK Cupid questions bring forth. I have always wondered if I was more like a tamale or Loofah sponge, and finally that question has forced me to confront the unresolved tamale-Loofah dichotomy long hidden deep in my psyche.

Many of the questions are just plain lame, but I do my best to answer them. One just asked me about "God/religion". I didn't know there could be such an equation. A deity divided by a social activity concerned about the question of life after death.

I have a blog and will share the URL upon request. I got kicked off a paid matchmaking website that has a name that starts with "e" for listing the blog URL in my profile. Now I'm so shell-shocked that I'm even reluctant to mention that I *have* a blog, for fear that I'll get kicked off this site too!

UPDATE: OK, I saw another person list a URL ... does that mean it's safe?

Perhaps I'll give some clues, and you can scavenger hunt your way to blogspot dee-oh-tee com where my blog is named bigbangblackhole.

Maybe this answer is still too boring. Let me start over.

Um, I'm not wearing any underpants.

You should message me if you can get through the newly-revised, robust IM filters I have just now put in place to prevent people from Mongolia, Serbia, Gabon, Philippines, and girls under 18 from contacting me. To summarize, I am NOT trying to meet a 12-year-old Russian bear trainer ... at this time. Maybe next week.

You should message me if you love cats, wilderness, a messy house, outdoor activity, National Parks, and discussing both sides (sorry, I mean *all* sides) of any and every question.

And, email is my prefered method of "first contact" ... that IM thing is too scary. Maybe after we get to know each other a little more.