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nestpasunprofil

51 Brooklyn, NY Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 32–55
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Dec 23
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Education
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Albanian (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This isn't a real OKC profile - it's just a satire. It's here to amuse me.

I like long walks on the beach. Do you? Especially the ones where you get to witness a shark attack. Very romantic. Oh, and candlelit dinners. I'm equally comfortable in jeans and black tie. Or maybe I mean alienated. There must be a lot of frikkin black-tie benefits going on, that's all I can say, judging by people's profiles. Who are these people?!

I work hard and play harder. My glass is always half full. Should I buy a smaller glass?

I'm looking for that special someone, my partner in crime. What crime? I dunno. That's where you come in. I was thinking forgery, but my handwriting sucks. Anyway, like I say, I'm trying to find my soulmate, that one that can be my best friend as we share the joys and sorrows of trying to find a decent movie on Netflix or ungentrified 'hood in Brooklyn.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living it to the max, baby! Like a character in a Beckett novel. Enjoying everything [fill in blank] has to offer.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Space camp. No, it's true - I just dropped out b/c my professors didn't understand me. I'm such a geek!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My Derridian post-colonial indeterminacy. Or my hump. It's huge!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I dunno, I'll fill this out later.

Some really hip stuff Murakami more hip stuff Radiohead Murakami hip so hip Bushwick gallery even hipper Gladwell don't call me a foodie vinyl Wes Anderson TED talks Murakami tragically hip Sedaris.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Well, I dunno. But how about a euphemism for sex here?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
why OKC has so many questions about masturbation. What's the correlation between answering questions about wanking w/ finding someone w/ whom to have sex à deux? (Or for that matter à trois. Or à N, where N > 1.)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
"Typical"?! No one on OKC has typical Fridays! Generally I'm curing cancer, solving the Mid-East crisis, and kicking Putin out of Crimea. Other times I might be called in to sub at the Metropolitan Opera or do a quick spleen transplant at Lenox Hill. Although sometimes I like to just kick back w/ my iPad and a beer and show how bogus Andrew Wiles's so-called "proof" of Fermat's Last Theorem is.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Then it wouldn't be private any more!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're carbon-based. And NO DRAMA, mkay?

BTW, I fibbed re my age, for search purposes. Although this isn't a real profile. Come to think of it, is any of us "real"? Aren't we just virtual scraps of performativity in the Foucaultvian panopticon - so who's counting?

Also, you'll note I checked "casual sex." When it comes to sex, I'm just not very formal. I tried sex in a tux once and, even though it's fun to say, the cummerbund got all - let us not speak of it.