Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

Joshua Alan Doetsch fell back on writing ever since the sad day the high school guidance counselor informed him that “Spiderman” was not a viable vocation. While you sleep, he weaves words in the plasma cauldron of his computer screen under the twilight laughter of a black-light, advised by a rubber raven and his pet snake, Lenore. His fiction thesis, Souls Unsure (a dark epic about a voodoo priestess, a fallen angel’s journey through the underworld, and a very sad teddy bear) won the UIS Outstanding Master's Thesis Award (the first time a work of fiction won the award at that school)—and he’s currently scrambling in the laborious enterprise of gathering enough body parts to sew together and animate into an unholy, lurching demographic to sell the book to. Meanwhile, his horror novel, Strangeness in the Proportion, won the White Wolf Novel Contest and will be available at major book stores sometime in the near future. As for his short stories, “Teddy Bear Rex” was nominated for a Pushcart Award and “Snow, Blood, and Sparrows” appears in the anthology, Book of Dead Things, by Twilight Tales Press, available now. Joshua has a fondness for fedoras, finds happiness in voodoo doll smiles, does a pretty mean Christopher Walken impersonation, and once upon a road trip dreary, out of extreme boredom and morbid curiosity, wrote a Blues song about necrophilia. He also writes fascinating internet profiles in the third person.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

Looking for work and getting more things published . . . trying to get more things published so I don't have to go to work.

If you want to know more, just go to:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/nevermore_66/

or

http://www.myspace.com/nevermore_66

I'm really good at Propose an edit

Inspiring a laugh - magic tricks - listening (I have a bartender-like, empathetic ear) - laughing off bad things - entertaining children - working with animals - startling or spooking people - making Halloween costumes - Christopher Walken impersonations - writing (I hope!) - massages (chalk it up to years in the drama club where a massage was like a handshake)

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

I like fedoras.

There are haunted houses in my eyes...

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

(a) Check out my virtual book shelf HERE.

(b) old Noir films - Alex Proyas movies (The Crow and Dark City) � Tim Burton movies � Batman Begins - Batman the Animated Series - Kevin Smith flicks - Shaun of the Dead - So I Married An Ax Murderer - Super Troopers - Bogart flicks (The Big Sleep and Casablanca), Maltese Falcon, etc.) - Chinatown - Momento - Boondock Saints - Fight Club - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Napoleon Dynamite - Neverwhere (the BBC series) - Alfred Hitchcock - Pulp Fiction - Being John Malcovich - Anime - silent films (like Nosferatu and Metropolis)- X-Files and Adult Swim (as far as TV goes)

(c) reggae - swing music (Cherry Poppin' Daddies and Royal Crown Revue) � Red Hot Chili Peppers Jimmy Buffett - Rob Zombie - White Zombei - classic rock - alternative rock - rock rock - classical music (Beethoven) - Mediaeval Baebes - Midnight Syndicate - Folk Underground - Lacuna Coil - The White Stripes - Smashing Pumpkins - Alice in Chains - Nirvana - Echo and the Bunnymen - NIN - Rasputina - Radiohead

(d) RUM! And, while I make endless fun over over-priced, pretentious coffee and the people that buy it...I end up buying said coffees, while hanging out at coffee houses, and then I take a big sip and swear I can taste my own acrid hypocrisy...or maybe that's just burnt coffee...I hate when they give you the burnt coffee...all the whipped cream in the world doesn't cover that shit! Food...I like Mexican food, Chinese food, and discovered I like Thai food (I just don't know enough about the dishes yet), I like various forms of chicken in peanut sauce (Chinese or Thai). Ben n' Jerry's oatmeal cookie ice cream.

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

Writing journal (I'd have to carve notes into my arms otherwise)with fountain pen, family/friends, shades (I have sensitive eyes), an eccentric imagination, a sardonic smile, and a quixotic outlook (if we don't keep a quixotic outlook, see the ogres in the windmills, then the real world starts to kill us off, slowly).

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

Girls, things that live under my bed, haunted houses, pumpkins and Jack O Lanterns (and how Yugoslavian Gypsies believed a pumpkin left outside too long would turn into a rolling, growling vampire � makes you wonder if kids smashing pumpkins on Halloween is a product of rebellious adolescence�or a dormant survival instinct�), and my next writing assignment.

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

My week has no rhythm...I tend to bounce around time and space.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

I wish I had something cool to admit to...like having a tail or something...

...Almost any time I have to wear a suit, I wear a Batman T-Shirt (with the symbol on the chest) under my dress shirt, in the hopes that at about the time I have to leave whatever event I’m at, someone will call my cell phone, interupting the conversation I’m having, and I’ll answer it, saying, “What?...Slow down...no!” (regardless of who called) and then pulling open my dress shirt, revealing the bat symbol, and running off muttering, “I must shed my everyday disguise!”...

...I was once on stage with Jenna Jameson (it's a long story...but ask if you're curious about it)...but I guess that was more public than private...

...I sometimes talk to my pet snake, Lenore, knowing full well that snakes have no ears...

...when I was a kid, I'd always check behind the shower curtain of any bathroom I entered, affraid of what might be behind there, before I could do anything else. Now, I still check, not out of fear, but out of a well worn, and comfortable compulsion...

...still not sure why this website says I'm "less loving" than other guys. Maybe there was a question like, "Would you throwh a flaming jar of napalm on a newborn kitten?" and I accidentally clicked the wrong answer. I don't know...

You should message me if Propose an edit

You find any of this interesting...if you're a night owl (insomniacs unite!)...you like massages...you think wax seals on letters is the coolest thing ever...or if you're an artist...or if you're a comics artist...or just because...

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