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41 Cary, NC Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–51
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 3:48pm
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Catholicism but it’s not important
Doesn’t want kids
Has dogs
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
WOW. THIS IS G R E A T. I can instantly eliminate boring- let alone hideous -women who a) have cats, b) an attitude, c) are arrogant, d) cocky, e) full of themselves/think they're "princesses" (even though their face says "troll"), f) can't construct a sentence, much less use spellcheck & grammar check, and g) are atheist, Jewish or agnostic- AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BUY THEM A DRINK OR DINNER!!!! I THINK I'VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN!!!

As a matter of fact, this website has actually saved me SSOOOOOO MUCH time, money, drama & heartache instead of wasting time on the aforementioned types of Wastes of Time (and did I mention time missed playing Halo?) that I actually BOUGHT A HOUSE. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARS AGO because I'm NOT spending on worthless, unappreciative dates!!!

THANK YOU, OKCUPID!!!! \(^_^)/

***AT LEAST MY PROFILE WON'T BORE YOU TO TEARS. PLEASE READ MY ENTIRE PROFILE WITH ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.'S VOICE (from "Iron Man" specifically) in mind***: (Pisses me off that we can't edit photos ON here and that it won't allow a photo unless it's a certain size- a n n o y i n g!) I HATE THIS F*CKING PLACE. THE HUMIDITY ESPECIALLY. GET ME THE F * C K OUT OF THIS DAMNED PLACE! Like the song "Tonight Tonight Tonight" by Genesis- "help me I'll do anything- anything -if you'll just heeeeeelp...GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!" NO SH*T, RIGHT?! Jarvis, Where the hell are the pictures of me from the Marilyn Manson concert I went to last July? I DID take some, didn't I...OH. WE'RE LIVE? Okay then, here we go:)

***I AM ALLERGIC TO CATS AND CAN'T STAND SMOKE, SMOKERS OR SMOKING- THANKS ANYWAY!!!!*** (here's where 2/3 of you click the "next" button- again, thanks anyway!)

Here's what I "bring to the table":

I have my sh*t together.

I have two loving parents. Two loving brothers.

I have my college degrees.

I have my investments.

I have my own place. No roommates.

I have my own car. And yes it runs. I paid cash for it and drove it off the lot 17 years ago. Just put a new engine in it a year and a half ago. Classic, red, no-longer-make-it, t-top sports-car.

I have no STDs.

I'm not abusive.

I am nobody's "baby's fadda."

I have no psycho ex-girlfriend(s).

I don't stink. I don't have bad breath. To the contrary, I smell AWESOME.

I have a full head of natural hair, lol!!!

I don't smoke and I am not on any illegal drugs.

I have a Tony Starks personality.

I am talented as hell. Or- as my Nike t-shirts attest: "Lazy But Talented" \(^_^)/

Do I have problems/issues? Sure, who doesn't.

Do I have "drama" per se? No.

Do I have my ups and downs. Sure, I'm human like anyone else.

Love may know no bounds, but if you live in like San Antonio, Louisville, Zimbabwe, India, Pakistan, Karu, Kazasitkan or however it's spelled- or worse, indianapolis -don't bother. In short, if you're not "Within F*cking Distance", please- spare BOTH of us!

And I'm a sucker for dogs (^_^).

***I won't go out with a woman with a guy's name. This list includes- but is not limited to -Sam, Alex, Chris, Kris & Jo.***

***If you have 4 kids, 3 jobs, are in law school and/or working on your degree at age 45 at night school, this will not work. You don't have time as it is. Be honest with YourSELF.***

STRIKE ONE (A): ***how if your main profile pic shows you frowning/looking like a complete bitch, I know EYE'm not gonna want to see that when I come home- from ANYWHERE -so why would any OTHER guy?***


STRIKE TWO: ***Do YOU already live a comfortable lifestyle and really don't want a guy invading it all? Do you have "time" for a relationship? Do you have SPACE for a relationship, both in your heart and your mind? Hell, do you have time for a drink? A phone call for 15 minutes? Sex? I mean, if you can't Respond "Yes" to ANY of these- or To A Text -then YOU DON'T. And if you don't, please save us BOTH the trouble and don't type me!***

STRIKE THREE: ***If we're going to make plans for a FIRST date, you cancel and DON'T Suggest Alternative Plans? THREE STRIKES, YOU'RE OUT.***
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working hard at becoming an alcoholic (didja notice under "Drinks" I put "desperately"?), watching baseball at the moment, walking my dog (between innings), hating the weather...hell I don't know; I mean, once you have all the things listed above, what's next? And why would I even want more anyway?! WHAT'S "MORE"?

I...AM IRON MAN. On Mondays & Wednesdays.
I...AM BATMAN on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
And damn Superman on Saturdays.
Spiderman on freakin' Sundays \(&_&)/
I'm typing this slightly inebriated now
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
a) pissing people off; b) making love; c) being a role model (despite my "Not A Role Model" Nike t-shirt); d) sleeping and e) being a billionaire, genius, playboy philanthropist lol
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!

aa) that I look like and overweight Matthew however-the-hell-you-spell-MCConnahey lol

b) Well, maybe my shoulders, dimples & voice. All at once, lol! :)

c) That I am actually CLOSE to you! I don't live in Iowa, Puerto Rico (same place, lol) or the People's Republic of Hoo-Gee-Habba-Whaat!

So I'm "dangerous": I'm within striking distance!!! BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID, MUWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!! >:)

d) I really, REALLY hate indianapolis; to the point where I won't even give it a capital "I" just to show my general disdain for the entire heartless city; same with the carolina tarholes. I despise them, their university, their teams & their fans. This is where 90% of (the RESY of) you say "goodbye" and go on to the next profile (^_^)

e) that "WITH MY MIGHTY FISTS OF HORROR- AND UNSTOPPABLE CRUELTY -I, AM THE TOOL, OF DESTRUCTION, VENGEANCE, AND FURY!!!!!!!!!!" -Invader Zim (just giving credit where credit is due (and so I don't get sued)) \(^_^)/

f) and that I look like George Clooney on crack \(^_^)/
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A) My favorite song is "Last Good Time In Town" by The Eagles. 2nd place is "I Drink Alone" by George Thorogood & The Destroyers.

Also LOVE Metallica, Korn, Audioslave, Rob Zombie, Nine Inch Nails, ALICE IN CHAINS, Creed, Drowning Pool, Rage Against The Machine, System Of A Down, ATB, Sade, Barry White, Ole Dirty Bastard, N.W.A., Slick Rick, Public Enemy, Biz Markie, The Police, Enigma blah blah blah.

B) SH*T- I'm REEEEEEEEEEEALLY not sticking to the topic here, am I...? (And I'll bet you didn't even NOTICE!)

C) Consequently, I don't really watch ANY mainstream TV. I watch MLB.TV via my XBOX360 and have DVDs of Futurama, The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Phineas & Ferb and Invader Zim \(^_^)/
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My (albeit dark) sense of humor
My lemon beagle
Iced coffee/caffeine
Hockey, a hot shower & A/C
Deodorant/body spray(s)
Condoms lol- isn't this like 10 things...? :)

(life approach, attitude & philosophy. And how everyone takes everything Too Damn Seriously. I mean, if my bit on the condoms thing above scares you or something, you have no sense of humor. People freak out over nothings and take the serious stuff not seriously enough!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how f*cked up dating is \(^_^)/ <----smiley face, rocking the f*ck out AND YES I INVENTED IT. IT'S COPYRIGHTED!!!!!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
a) fighting crime;
b) playing Halo;
c) watching The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad, Phineas & Ferb, or- my latest addiction -the Daredevil series on Netflix;
d) watching baseball via MLB.TV via my XBOX (Mets, Angels, Cubs, Rays & Tigers in that order!);
e) bidding on eBay;
f) hoarding at thrift stores and/or
g) stalking hockey and/or baseball players for autographs (^_^)
h) blowing my nose;
i) giving myself a haircut;
j) NOT traveling;
k) NOT going to a wedding;
l) NOT going to a bridal shower;
m) NOT going to a baby shower;
n) NOT picking out curtains;
o) NOT curling up with a good book;
p) NOT having a hot cup of tea;
q) NOT playing chess;
r) NOT going to an outdoor concert when the humidity's 80% & it's 95 degrees out at 8 o'clock at night;
s) hating The Beatles. They suck.
t) curling up WITH some Jack Daniels;
u) NOT playing checkers;
v) NOT watching a romantic comedy;
w) doing laundry;
x) hating the buffalo bills, new york rangers, indiana pacers & KEER-O-LAH-NAH TARHOLES;
y) at a hockey game (during hockey season of course)
z) stalking you on OKCupid (^_^)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I sometimes use a straw. Even though it's unmanly. There. I said it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
a) too, fight crime on a typical Friday night;
b) won't force me to travel. I hate flying.
c) use deodorant, don't stink like curry, smell like armpit or worse;
d) like playing Halo (or could be convinced to learn);
c) watch The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad, Phineas & Ferb, or the Daredevil series on Netflix;
d) enjoy baseball (Mets, Angels, Cubs, Rays & Tigers in that order!);
e) bid on eBay;
f) play miniature golf (HEY- ONE hoarder is enough!!!)
g) stalk hockey and/or baseball players for autographs (^_^)
h) blow, well...heh heh ;)
i) don't have to give me a haircut by any means;
j) are kind of a homebody;
k) kinda hate going to weddings, bridal showers and baby showers;
l) have tattoos AND ARE NOT ON DRUGS;
m) have piercings and ARE NOT ON DRUGS;
n) deteset picking out curtains;
o) can curl up with a good book By Yourself (while I'm playing Halo?);
p) can have a hot cup of tea while I have iced coffee;
q) can play chess;
r) enjoy NOT going to an outdoor concert when the humidity's 80% & it's 95 degrees out at 8 o'clock at night;
s) too, hate The Beatles and think they suck.
t) would like curling up WITH some company (i.e. ME), Jack Daniels & some candles;
u) are capable of playing checkers;
v) won't force me to watch a romantic comedy;
w) can do Your Own laundry and Not Feel Obligated to mine (please don't do my laundry- I'm a grown man);
x) hate any- and preferably all -of the following: the washington nationals, baltimore orioles, buffalo bills, new york rangers, indiana pacers & KEER-O-LAH-NAH TARHOLES;
y) would like a hockey game (during hockey season of course)
z) stalk me on OKCupid and NOT IN PERSON!!!!! (^_^)
Hot Crazy Matrix - A Man's Guide to Women