***I AM ALLERGIC TO CATS AND CAN'T STAND SMOKE, SMOKERS OR SMOKING- THANKS ANYWAY!!!!*** (here's where 2/3 of you click the "next" button- again, thanks anyway!)
(Can't I be more specific and put that I am a BAZILLIONAIRE on here? Why can't I put "more than a bazillion dollars" under the "Income" segment here?
FURTHER STILL, MISS IMPATIENT!!!
Now, look to the right. In the next column
Here's what I "bring to the table":
I have my sh*t together.
I have two loving parents. Two loving brothers.
I have my college degrees.
I have my investments.
I have my own place. No roommates.
I have my own car. And yes it runs. I paid cash for it and drove it off the lot 15 years ago. Just put a new engine in it a year and a half ago. Classic, red, no-longer-make-it, t-top sportscar.
I have no STDs.
I'm not abusive.
I am nobody's "baby's fadda."
I have no psycho ex-girlfriend(s).
I don't stink. I don't have bad breath. To the contrary, I smell AWESOME.
I have a full head of natural hair, lol!!!
I don't smoke and I am not on any illegal drugs.
I have a Tony Starks personality.
I am talented as hell. Or- as my Nike t-shirts attest: "Lazy But Talented" \(^_^)/
Do I have problems/issues? Sure, who doesn't.
Do I have "drama" per se? No.
Do I have my ups and downs. Sure, I'm human like anyone else.
Love may know no bounds, but if you live in like San Antonio, Louisville, Zimbabwe, India, Pakistan, Karu, Kazasitkan or however it's spelled- or worse, indianapolis -don't bother. In short, if you're not "Within F*cking Distance", please- spare BOTH of us!
And I'm a sucker for dogs (^_^).
***I won't go out with a woman with a guy's name. This list includes- but is not limited to -Sam, Alex, Chris, Kris & Jo.***
***If you have 4 kids and 3 jobs, this will not work. You don't have time as it is. Be honest with YourSELF.***
STRIKE ONE: ***how if your main profile pic shows you frowning/looking like a complete bitch, I know EYE'm not gonna want to see that when I come home- from ANYWHERE -so why would any OTHER guy?***
STRIKE TWO: ***Do YOU already live a comfortable lifestyle and really don't want a guy invading it all? Do you have "time" for a relationship? Do you have SPACE for a relationship, both in your heart and your mind? Hell, do you have time for a drink? A phone call for 15 minutes? Sex? I mean, if you can't Respond "Yes" to ANY of these- or To A Text -then YOU DON'T. And if you don't, please save us BOTH the trouble and don't type me!***
STRIKE THREE: ***If we're going to make plans for a FIRST date, you cancel and DON'T Suggest Alternative Plans? THREE STRIKES, YOU'RE OUT.***