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40 M Cary, NC

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 4:51pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Catholicism, but not too serious about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has dogs and dislikes cats

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My self-summary
***PLEASE READ MY ENTIRE PROFILE WITH ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.'S VOICE (from "Iron Man" specifically) in mind***: (Jarvis, Where the hell are the pictures of me from the Marilyn Manson concert I went to in July? I DID take some, didn't I...OH. WE'RE LIVE? Okay then, here we go:)

***I am allergic to cats and can't stand smokers- thanks anyway!*** (here's where 2/3 of you click the "next" button)

(Can't I be more specific and put that I am a zillionaire on here? Why can't I put "more than a bazillion dollars" under the "income segment here?

Further down...




look to the right. In the next column
-----------------------------------------------------------------> See?)

Here's what I "bring to the table":

I have my sh*t together.

I have two loving parents. Two loving brothers.

I have my college degrees.

I have my investments.

I have my own place. No roommates.

I have my own car. And yes it runs. I paid cash for it and drove it off the lot 15 years ago. Just put a new engine in it a year and a half ago. Classic, red, no-longer-make-it, t-top sportscar.

I have no STDs.

I'm not abusive.

I am nobody's "baby's fadda."

I have no psycho ex-girlfriend(s).

I have no drama.

I don't stink. I don't have bad breath.

I have a full head of natural hair, lol!!!

I don't smoke and I am not on any illegal drugs.

I have Tony Starks' personality and Peter Parker's wallet.

I am talented as hell. Or- as my Nike t-shirts attest: "Lazy But Talented" \(^_^)/

I'm just an average joe living his life, plain and simple.

Do I have problems/issues? Sure, who doesn't.

Do I have "drama" per se? No.

Do I have my ups and downs. Sure, I'm human like anyone else.

Love may know no bounds, but my wallet does; so if you live in like Zimbabwe- or indianapolis -don't bother. Please- Spare me.

I am very hard on myself. If I can't advance in the direction(s) I choose, I want to be left alone. If I can't be who- or what -I want to be, I want society to go f*cking hang.

And I'm a sucker for dogs (^_^).

***I won't go out with a woman with a guy's name. This list includes- but is not limited to -Sam, Alex, Chris, Kris & Jo.***

***If you have 4 kids and 3 jobs, this will not work. You don't have time as it is. Be honest with YourSELF.***

STRIKE ONE: ***how if your main profile pic shows you frowning/looking like a complete bitch, I know EYE'm not gonna want to see that when I come home- from ANYWHERE -so why would any OTHER guy?***

STRIKE TWO: ***how you have to be honest with yourself: Do YOU already live a comfortable lifestyle and really don't want a guy invading it all? Do you have "time" for a relationship? Do you have SPACE for a relationship, both in your heart and your mind? Hell, do you have time for a drink? A phone call for 15 minutes? Sex? I mean, if you can't Respond "Yes" to ANY of these- or To A Text -then YOU DON'T. And if you don't, please save us BOTH the trouble and don't type me!***

STRIKE THREE: ***If we're going to make plans for a FIRST date, you cancel and DON'T Suggest Alternative Plans? THREE STRIKES, YOU'RE OUT.***
What I’m doing with my life
Working hard at becoming an alcoholic (didja notice under "Drinks" I put "desperately"?), watching football at the moment, walking my dog (between halftimes), enjoying the weather...hell I don't know; I mean, once you have all the things listed above, what's next? And why would I even want more anyway?! WHAT'S "MORE"?

I...AM IRON MAN. On Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays.
I...AM BATMAN on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
And damn Superman on Saturdays.
Spiderman on freakin' Sundays \(&_&)/
I'm typing this slightly inebriated now
I’m really good at
a) pissing people off; b) making love; c) being a role model (despite my "Not A Role Model" Nike t-shirt); d) sleeping and e) being a billionaire, genius, playboy philanthropist lol
The first things people usually notice about me

aa) that I look like and overweight Matthew however-the-hell-you-spell-MCConnahey lol

b) Well, maybe my shoulders, dimples & voice. All at once, lol! :)

c) That I am actually CLOSE to you! I don't live in Iowa, Puerto Rico (same place, lol) or the People's Republic of Hoo-Gee-Habba-Whaat!

So I'm "dangerous": I'm within striking distance!!! BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID, MUWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!! >:)

d) I really, REALLY hate indianapolis; to the point where I won't even give it a capital "I" just to show my general disdain for the entire heartless city; same with the carolina tarholes. I despise them, their university, their teams & their fans. This is where 90% of (the RESY of) you say "goodbye" and go on to the next profile (^_^)

e) that "WITH MY MIGHTY FISTS OF HORROR- AND UNSTOPPABLE CRUELTY -I, AM THE TOOL, OF DESTRUCTION, VENGEANCE, AND FURY!!!!!!!!!!" -Invader Zim (just giving credit where credit is due (and so I don't get sued)) \(^_^)/

f) and that I look like George Clooney on crack \(^_^)/
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
***My job reminds me A LOT of "Bringing Out The Dead" featuring Nicholas Cage- ever see it?***

A) My favorite song is "Last Good Time In Town" by The Eagles. 2nd place is "I Drink Alone" by George Thorogood & The Destroyers.

Also LOVE Metallica, Korn, Audioslave, Rob Zombie, Nine Inch Nails, ALICE IN CHAINS, Creed, Drowning Pool, Rage Against The Machine, System Of A Down, ATB, Sade, Barry White, Wynton Marsalis blah blah blah She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy I dunno- I got nothin'

B) What's what's wrong with having a drink beFORE work (trust me, if you had MY job, you'd drink too!), having a hot shower, a cold drink & watching the Panthers game? ("Woo-hoo!" -Homer Simpson)

SH*T- I'm REEEEEEEEEEEALLY not sticking to the topic here, am I...? (And I'll bet you didn't even NOTICE!)

C) Consequently, I don't really watch ANY mainstream TV. I watch MLB.TV via my XBOX360 and have DVDs of Futurama, The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Phineas & Ferb and Invader Zim \(^_^)/
The six things I could never do without
My (albeit dark) sense of humor
My lemon beagle
Iced coffee/caffeine
Hockey, a hot shower & A/C
Deodorant/body spray(s)
Condoms lol- isn't this like 10 things...? :)

(life approach, attitude & philosophy. And how everyone takes everything Too Damn Seriously. I mean, if my bit on the condoms thing above scares you or something, you have no sense of humor. People freak out over nothings and take the serious stuff not seriously enough!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how Awesome I am \(^_^)/ <----smiley face, rocking the f*ck out AND YES I INVENTED IT. IT'S COPYRIGHTED!!!!!
On a typical Friday night I am

b) continuing to think about how Awesome I am \(^_^)/

c) At freakin' work 'til damn 11pm, fighting crime...sigh...


d) ...playing the Guitar Hero/Rock Band drums on the XBOX360 both drunk and naked simultaneously on Expert, finishing the song and kicking its ass, lol!!!! \(^_^)/


e) ...playing Halo 'til my eyes bleed. Or I have 33 kills. Whichever happens first. (Did I mention that I AM A PART-TIME SNIPER A N D ROMANCE NOVELIST?!)

f) stalking hockey players for autographs (^_^)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
a) I have a secret identity, and

b) I am sitting here, typing this at 6am in a Ninja Turtles t-shirt and Cleveland Browns hat. No pants (^_^)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–51
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
A) You feel like it (^_^); B) you have Jack Daniels you need help drinking; C) a pair of hockey or baseball tickets (for the two of us) and/or D) a bed to cozy up in afterwards...and even the hockey/baseball tickets are optional ;)