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28 San Francisco, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 3:53pm
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Atheism, and laughing about it
Science / Engineering
Open relationship
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm happily engaged to sjandra_kei (though she's not okcupiding these days). We're poly. I spend most of my days considering electrons and the people that need them to move. In the evenings I write and do interactive art. I host an experimental dinner series called Appetite Obscure. We're about to print our first book.

I think being earnest is cooler than being cool.

I have a soft heart.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have a lot of projects going on. These days I
ensure wireless things can hold conversation with each other;
create an illustrated cookbook of symbol-laden meals;
explore storm drains, beachfronts, and abandoned areas;
am the squarest guy at the party;
pop, strut, boogaloo, mime, and contact dance;
close one eye and spread my fingers against the sky, remembering that the boundary between self and other is artificial;
play the same song over and over;
stare at monolithic industrial structures; and
sneak emotional information into lists of mundane things.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Mirroring movement. Vicarious enjoyment. Eating the whole burrito.

Every few months I dive into a new pursuit really hard. I really like the steep part of a learning curve. Current obsession is making a biometric mood ring.

I will notice and appreciate how your hands move and your mouth quirks.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Someone once described my voice as a cross between Carl Sagan and They Might Be Giants.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My writing role models are Borges, Kafka, Italo Calvino, and Ian MacEwan. Additional love and gratitude goes out to Murakami and Milan Kundera. I love short stories, especially Chekhov. My favorite play is Cyrano de Bergerac, and my favorite children's story is The Nightengale And The Rose by Oscar Wilde. I also like Neal Stephenson and pulpier sci-fi a la Alfred Bester.

Graphic novels: Blankets, Habibi, Bone, Zot!, and all things Chris Ware.

Movies: Her, Stranger Than Fiction, Pan's Labyrinth, and 80's rom-coms where the guy eventually falls for his punky girl best friend. I really liked The Fall.

Music: Historically I've preferred indie longhair sad bands that tell elaborate stories (Okkerville River, Arcade Fire, Mountain Goats). Lately though I just want turn up the bass and dance.

Visually I dig on clean lines, high contrast monochrome, and calligraphy.

If it's food I'll eat it, the weirder the better.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Strangers
2. Space and time to be alone
3. A guitar
4. A few good friends
5. Dance moves
6. The books
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The transit of light, lichen patterns, artifice.

The intersection of systemic and poetic.

Is freedom from consequence the only difference between fiction and fact?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Designing experiences for other people.

Or out somewhere weird, usually with a hypercognitive cadre of collaborators, constructing unuseful false histories.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no interest in drugs.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Chiefly, I'm looking for people who make interesting things--whether art, text, or tech--and who are curious about everything, especially hearts and minds. If you're such a person, we're likely to get along famously.

But if you're as attractive as your half-lit studio photo implies, then tentative forearm touches may escalate into spirited sessions of mutual neck-nape nibbling. I'd love to spur such sessions, provided you can dig I already have a fantastic fiancee and you are not in a hurry. I prefer to move slow in matters of the heart.

If unhurried nonmonogamy isn't your scene, that's okay, because I probably messaged you due to your uncommon intellect and/or talents. We can bond over those and just be friends who don't make out at all but have diverse similar interests.

And hey, maybe we'll beat the odds. Maybe our creative vocabularies will so densely interweave that a permanent closeness will feel absolutely right, and we'll spread our fingers out to pluck all the fruit in the world, and every time I find an irreplaceably perfect plum I'll save a bite for you. Maybe. But no guarantees. We'll have to exchange a few letters first.

If, having read all this, you harbor some potential ardor, please holler.