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31 M New York, NY

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 20–29
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Catholicism, and somewhat serious about it
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm Rob. I'm not a regular "down to earth" guy. I'm actually a convicted serial puppy rapist. I'm just looking for some rough sex, which hopefully draws blood at some point - doesn't matter whose. Then I'll probably steal your credit cards, and try to sleep with your best friend.

Also, I like sarcasm.

Now for my real (albeit more boring) stats: I'm passionate about all the things that elevate life: Spending time with the people I love, music (particularly classical and opera, but I like most genres), great food, booze of all varieties, coffee, exercise and staying/eating healthy, and humor. I believe that life is meant to be laughed through, and I make my best effort to do so.

I live in Crown Heights. Ideally, you do too.

I'm originally from Seattle. Yes, we're obsessed with coffee. No, it doesn't rain all the time (Though it is cloudy and drizzly quite frequently).

I am a practicing Catholic. No. I'm not a virgin. No, I will not judge you if you're not a Catholic too (but God will... Mwaaahahahahha). No - I do not always follow Catholic dogma to the letter - Confession is there for a reason right?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making penis jokes at inappropriate times. Much like now...

I just learned how to play "Flash" by Queen on the piano. It's ok. Be impressed.

Responding to generic messages on here with smart-alec remarks. Current fave:

OKCGirl: What do you like to do for fun?
Me: I like to drink until I'm unsteady, and then flagellate myself until I reach the euphoric intersection of pain and pleasure.
Also Netflix.
(No, I'm not ashamed that I find myself this entertaining.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
are my bright blue eyes... or my horribly disfigured left arm that was mangled in a tragic threshing accident... but probably the eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am a big foodie and I love anything food-centric: Top Chef, Iron Chef, new kitchen knives, cook books, going to fancy shmancy restaurants. I'd say I love to cook... but that's not exactly true. I love to eat. I've found learning how to cook is the surest way to having really awesome food all the time. I also try to follow a Primal/Paleo diet which generally means I eat low-carb with an emphasis on vegetables and meat.

Books: Lots of the classics such as Catcher in the Rye, Ender's Game, The Count of Monte Cristo, Lord of the Rings series. The Hunger Games books., Game of Thrones, Endurance, Most stuff by Ken Follett.

Movies/TV: COMEDY - Some particular favorites are Modern Family, The Hangover, Family Guy, Kung-fu Panda, Parks and Rec (Season 2 and onward), Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, (Yes... I realize these last two are not comedies) and the stand-up genius of Jim Gaffigan.

I like exercise (Crossfit and the like) UPDATE: No longer really into Crossfit - those peeps are crazy and a little cult-ish. I try to do something active every day, and I really enjoy working out with other people, so if you're into that, that would be a big plus!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What I'm gonna eat for breakfast/dinner/lunch/bedtime snack
Why I have nipples, yet can never suckle a child...
Your mom.
Who put the bop in the bop-shu-bop-shu-bop?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
trying to claw my way out of this bottomless chasm of hopelessness and despair by seeking self-validation in the approval of those of the opposite sex, and, failing that; at the bottom of my whiskey glass. Or playing "Bananagrams". Love that shit.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
...I kind of have a man-crush on Andy on Parks and Rec.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You actually look like your profile picture. I mean, hey, we've all got flaws, but if you show up looking like you ate the person you're advertising yourself to be, I think everybody's going to end up disappointed at the end of the day. This website dating experience has taught me that some amazing things can be accomplished with lighting/kissy faces...