31 Minneapolis, MN
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My self-summary
I love my job; it is one of my favorite things. I also enjoy reading, eating, long walks with my dog, friendly gossip over beers, not being murdered, and knitting. It's not that I definitely don't want to date you; it’s just that I do not want to live in the closet where you will keep me and occasionally feed me table scraps, and I only put lotion on my skin when I can do so of my own volition.

I’m always very funny, but sometimes only to me.
What I’m doing with my life
Your mom.

I am always following the time tested philosophy of life: "Gas, ass or grass: nobody rides for free!"

I like to make up words and then fliselate them into a conversation to see if anyone notices. Not only do I get a fun joke, but people think that I am smart!
I’m really good at
Telling long, boring, pointless stories that aren't necessarily connected in any way to the conversation they interrupt.

Being incredibly snotty and stuck up about things that other people look down on me for.

Knowing more than you about Star Wars.

Being very VERY serious all the time. Jk... But for real.
The first things people usually notice about me
I totally look like this girl you know.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite food is everything... except for McDonald's pickles..seriously... why are they see-through?!? yuck yuck yuckity yuck. I'm currently hungry for spaghetti. Like... while writing this... It will probably have passed by the time you get here... I bet by then I will be hungry for BBQ potato chips or string cheese.

If given the chance I will always play Hanson's Mmmbop or Spice Girls (ANYTHING) on the jukebox at the bar.

Basically every movie I see is on my iPhone screen... So I guess you could say I'm something of a cinefile.

I love tv. If you say you don't I think you're a liar... Or a douche... Or both.
The six things I could never do without
Rain drops on roses, whiskers on kittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings and whiskey...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whose job is it to make sure that the ketchup dispenser puts out the perfect amount for that paper cup?

Why does no one else talk about the fact that Orion is the best hung constellation: naked, hands flung in the air- forever streaking across the sky?
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think that Steve from Blue's Clues is super hot!
You should message me if
You know a really funny joke.

... or you have a habit of not knowing when you are the butt of one. I like those types too.