Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I love my job; it is one of my favorite things. I also enjoy
reading, eating, long walks with my dog, friendly gossip, not being
murdered, and knitting. It's not that I definitely don't want to
date you; it’s just that I MOST likely don't want to. I also do not
want to live in the closet where you will keep me and occasionally
feed me table scraps, and I only put lotion on my skin when I can
do so of my own volition.
In addition, if your opening line involves offering to do anything
sexual to my butt or feet I will not respond to you… you giant
dirty bird… those topics are supposed to wait until at least the
third date… I think… maybe I should write to Dear Abby?
I’m always very funny, but sometimes only to me.