Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I love my job; it is one of my favorite things. I also enjoy
reading, eating, long walks with my dog, friendly gossip, not being
murdered, and knitting. It's not that I definitely don't want to
date you; it’s just that I MOST likely don't want to. I also do not
want to live in the closet where you will keep me and occasionally
feed me table scraps, and I only put lotion on my skin when I can
do so of my own volition.
In addition, if your opening line involves offering to do anything
sexual to my butt or feet I will not respond to you… you giant
dirty bird… those topics are supposed to wait until at least the
third date… I think… maybe I should write to Dear Abby?
I’m always very funny, but sometimes only to me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am always following the time tested philosophy of life: "Gas, ass
or grass: nobody rides for free!"
I like to make up words and then fliselate them into a conversation
to see if anyone notices. Not only do I get a fun joke, but people
think that I am smart!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Telling long, boring, pointless stories that aren't necessarily
connected in any way to the conversation they interrupt.
Being incredibly snotty and stuck up about things that other people
look down on me for.
Knowing more than you about Star Wars.
Being very VERY serious all the time. Jk... But for real.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My peg leg.
Also I hate this question.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite food is everything... except for McDonald's
pickles..seriously... why are they see-through?!? yuck yuck yuckity
yuck. I'm currently hungry for spaghetti. Like... while writing
this... It will probably have passed by the time you get here... I
bet by then I will be hungry for BBQ potato chips or string
If given the chance I will always play Hanson's Mmmbop or Spice
Girls (ANYTHING) on the jukebox at the bar.
Basically every movie I see is on my iPhone screen... So I guess
you could say I'm something of a cinefile.
I love tv. If you say you don't I think you're a liar... Or a
douche... Or both.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Rain drops on roses, whiskers on kittens, brown paper packages tied
up with strings and whiskey...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whose job is it to make sure that the ketchup dispenser puts out
the perfect amount for that paper cup?
Why does no one else talk about the fact that Orion is the best
hung constellation- naked, hands flung in the air- forever
streaking across the sky?
Seriously! Why have I not purchased prime yet? I mean I don't
really order that much from Amazon.... But I could start, and what
a good deal right?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think that Steve from Blue's Clues is super hot!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know a really funny joke.
... or if you have a habit of not knowing when you are the butt of
one. I like those types too.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.