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29 M Austin, TX

My Details

Last Online
Jun 9, 2005
Body Type
Very often
Aries, and it matters a lot
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Afrikaans (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I am from the future. In Canada I am known as the 'King of Pop' but you will most likely see me disguised as a giant Praying Mantis. With my glasses on my eyes look smaller, but not less hazel. My eyes are hazel as hell, like nobody's business man. I cannot be stopped. When you walk down the street I will be there, selling you boondoggle key chains. When you get in your car and start driving I will make the radio play unedited rap music and you will unable to do anything but get your groove on. Everytime you buy a pack of cigarettes I will embezzle the funds and buy myself another pack. I will sing rap music with an unabashed enthusiasm and will not hesitate to say the word nigger. I will not stop smoking because you ask me to. I will do shrooms with you if you ask me to do shrooms with you. single malt scotch

I am big, fat, and 20 sack
What I’m doing with my life
single malt scotch
I’m really good at
single malt scotch
The first things people usually notice about me
the giant flaming 666 and skull tattooed on my ass single malt scotch
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a. favorite book: All The King's Men by Robert Penn Warren b. favorite movie: The Big Lebowski, also Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 c. favorite album: Aquemini by OutKast runner up: The Chronic by Dr. Dre d. favorite food: single malt scotch
The six things I could never do without
im practicing meager asceticism so here's 6 things that i could do without: 1. Fat chicks.... seriously. 2. photic sneeze reflex 3. antidepressents 4. crumbs in my sheets 5. assholes in SUVs with those gay ass support our troops ribbons on them 6. canadian bacon
On a typical Friday night I am
single malt scotch
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–44
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You are not fat. And if you are skinny and bitch at me for being mean to fat chicks well fuck you, and I would fuck you becuase you are not fat.