Yes Still here. And finally willing to summarize myself. I am complicated. There are a lot of ways to look at that statement, and everyone will have their own preconceived notion of complicated people, I'd let you have yours, but where is the adventure in that?
In almost any environment I am insecure, but always highly functioning. Meaning, I don't like most people, places and things, but you'll never know it. I appear self confident, well spoken and never break stride, but inside I'm usually wishing, for one reason or another that I could rearrange this scenery (and often do).
I am cutting and judgmental, quick to assassinate a person's character. This is not the same as being mean. I am quite kind, empathetic really, and generous in nature. The sum of it is if I throw more than three words your way, I've already cut you down to size and believe full heartedly that you are a good, or at least amusing person. My quick assessment of people is more of a control method. I'm not manipulative mind you, quite the opposite, so I harness what I expose myself to in order to avoid unpleasant situations.
Art is my life. I prefer to be around musicians, poets, artists, photographers, novelists, sculptors, even the occasional digital designer. Art I live, and art I create, but rarely. I feel that expression is something that should not be taken lightly, and when you have something to say/share/portray do it right. Commercialism sickens me, especially when it applies to art.
I love animals, I tolerate people. I love wine, hate alcoholics. I enjoy the temporary altercation or daydream but hate escapists. I love technology and hate detachment. I love to argue and hate drama.
I am currently discontent. I am breathing melancholy with a hint of swallowed disdain on my lips. I am optimistically cynical. I am spiritually luke-warm. This is far from dead.
I am skeptical, insightful, and bemused