How do people ordinarily start these things? It seems so impossible to write an introduction such as this without falling into all the familiar traps of "I" statements and cliches professing a "zest for life," or the calling card of the boring, "I love to have fun!"

All right, if I keep deleting everything I write, I'll never get this thing filled out and I'll lose my nerve and cancel this whole thing. So here are some basics, in list formation because I want to:

-As of this past May, I am a college graduate. I went to music school, took some really great classes (as well as a few boring ones) and got to perform a lot with different kinds of people.
-I'm a singer, as well as a songwriter and mediocre rhythm guitar player. I sing in a folk-rock band as well as a few different jazz groups.
-I get a little obsessed with things that strike my fancy for whatever reason. For instance, two weeks ago, I realized that the entirety of the television series "Taxi" had been uploaded to Youtube. Within a week and a half, I'd watched all of it. Similarly, I've "nerded out" on song-poems, early-mid nineties sketch comedy, many kinds of feminist theory, Daniel Clowes comics and lots of other things that may or may not be considered cool.
-I consider myself an atheist, but I'm not an asshole about it and I resent that people automatically assume you're a dick if you don't believe in something. But, in the words of David Cross, "Yes, my mother's vagina was jewish," and I had a bat mitzvah; there's really no escaping the cultural and historical bonds that go along with growing up jewish, so I retain some of the recipes and the jokes and leave the dovening to the more devout.
-I think I'm probably writing too much in this section.
-I'm 5'6 and curvy? Voluptuous? Fat? I don't really know how other people would describe my body, and I'm not sure I really care. I spent way too long a time hating it, and I've decided that that is fucking bullshit. I only have one body (oh shit, here come those cliches and platitudes!) and I have to get what pleasure I can out of it. I think I look pretty sexy, and I just cannot waste time with anybody who wants to make me feel like shit about it.

Trying so hard to make it worthwhile. In all honesty, there is so much I'd like to be doing that sometimes I feel almost paralyzed by hope (to paraphrase Maria Bamford). I care a lot about politics and global women's issues and try to stay informed, but I'd really like to be doing some volunteering locally. If I actually helped out instead of thinking about it all the time, I'd probably have a clearer conscience. Wow, this is getting way too deep for the subject at hand... My life: what am I DOING with it? I'm trying to write a lot of music, I'm about to start a crappy, temporary job, I'm attempting to quit smoking cigarettes while simultaneously smoking probably way too much marijuana, I'm constantly hunting for great thrifted and vintage clothing, and I'm trying to find someone somewhere in this city who will want me as much as I want them. This is so pathetic.

Freestyling stupid lyrics, saying the wrong thing, dyeing my hair, reading out loud, cooking, putting together an outfit, being around kids.

My bright red-orange hair, jewelry, clothing. You know how we all have those personality things that we hope other people don't notice? Well, I'm not going to just give them all away now. What if nobody would have noticed them?

Books/Authors: Still Life With Woodpecker and a few others by Tom Robbins, short stories by Raymond Carver, Sum: 40 Tales from the Afterlives, Ghost World, David Boring, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Sarah Vowell, David Sedaris, David Rakoff, Dan Savage, and Ray Kurzweill!

Movies: The Saddest Music in the World, Cowards Bend the Knee, Off The Charts (song-poem documentary), Ghost World, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Waiting for Guffman, Wet Hot American Summer, Singin' in the Rain, How to Marry a Millionaire, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Music: Tom Waits, Nina Simone, Nancy Wilson, Charles Mingus, Thelonious Monk, Randy Newman, Rodd Keith, Dan Reeder, Vera Lynn, Will Oldham, Yo La Tengo, Pavement/Stephen Malkmus, Talking Heads, Tom Lehrer, David Bowie, Velvet Underground, Brad Mehldau, the power hour CD my friend and I are currently making on GarageBand.

TV: Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show, The State, The Simpsons, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Home Movies, The Critic, South Park, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Bob Newhart Show, Taxi, Oz, Mission Hill, Ren and Stimpy. You can tell I am srs bzns.

Food: Sushi, Afghan, matzo ball soup, fresh mint gelato, Indian, bacon, grilled shrimp, gin.

Best friend
LUSH cosmetics
Vibrator
Guitar
Computer
Cat

Ending up alone; I'm not deluded enough to think that it doesn't happen. Horrible aspects of humanity, be they historical or happening currently.
The sexual proclivities of people on the street.
Things we think are the height of modernity now, but will seem retrograde and outdated in a short amount of time.
Why doesn't Bruce McCulloch get more work?

Hanging out with friends, being stoned and laughing at stupid shit.

I have sensitive skin and get razor burn.

You're literate, and liberal, and funny.
You're not a misogynist or a chubby chaser (ugh, can you tell I'm used to looking on fucking craigslist?).