Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

FUCKING HELL! OBVIOUSLY THE PASSAGE BELOW IS NOT CLEAR ENOUGH, SO I'LL TRY AND HELP OUT THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T READ GUD AS BEST I CAN:

DON'T FUCKING IM ME. EVER. YOU ILLITERATE TWATS.

The first thing you should know is that my IM is rarely on, unless there's someone online that I want to talk to. I dont respond to, or even open, IMs unless they're from someone with whom I'm already acquainted. Send me a mail if you have something interesting to say. Kthx.

"I am fairly agile, I can bend and not break, Or I can break and take it with a smile. And I am so resilient, I recover quickly, I'll convince you soon that I am fine"

"I am vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right, I swear I'm right, I swear I knew it all along. And I am flawed, But I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself"

"I'm a mess, I'm a wreck. I am perfect and I have learned to accept all my problems and shortcomings 'cos I'm so visceral, yet deeply inept"

My lonely hearts ad, appropriated from my journal on someone else's advice:

Green eyed, incurably romantic, ginger, attention-whoring, chain-smoking, red-headed basket case seeks similar for shits and giggles. Interests include crying during arguments, kicking midgets and buying unsuitable shoes. Dislikes boring people and vomiting. Own house, car (dented), teeth and breasts (unfortunately). Occasionally solvent. Willing to throw my own phone number in the bin to save you the trouble. Great catch!

TrafficGuy said this about me in his journal:

noangel77 is another Brit I absolutely adore. She can slice and dice, but is self-effacingly genuine. And hot, fer sure. Kiki has the goods.

I am a crap teller of stories (too easily distracted), I never remember my dreams, I can dance and sing and can stand on my head in all weathers. I know probably exactly 7 words of Latin, but no magic or tricks. I'm pretty sure I can kick a Dragon's arse, I fight dirty and fair, and have eaten precisely ONE oyster in my life, which made me want to vomit (see my journal entry on the same, from the middle of February 07, if you really want to see an oyster discussion!) I am domestic, and also a luxury and I am definitely necessary.

I am also absofuckinglutely africkindorkable--which means I'm a bit of an adorable dork which works well for me because should you make fun of me, I can kick the crap out of you while wearing impossibly high heels and then laugh at myself when I get wobbly and fall on my arse afterwards.

A few of my favourite things: cute emo boys, pretty shoes, singing, matching underwear, irises (the flowers and the coloured bits in your eyes), girls and boys who wear lots of eyeliner, dancing, chip butties, reading -- anything and everything, being adored, tattoos and piercings (on me and other people), setting stuff on fire, summer -- I *love* summer! It makes me happy to wake up and know that it's going to be warm and sunny and I won't be shivering all day, kissing -- I fucking love kissing! Songs with handclaps and cheesy, jangly guitars.

A few of my *least* favourite things: chavs, arguments, shellfish, gold jewellery, selfishness, false nails, racist/sexist/homophobic bigots, fake tans, being ignored, Ugg boots (why would anyone think they're attractive or flattering? Sure, they're warm. Like you need warm boots in Australia), rude people.

I have the attention span of a.....OOoooh, look! A rabbit!

EDITORS

• desihannagan

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

"singin' songs from the balcony as the city crumbles under the powers of an evil doctor rocket science monster with capabilities to destroy the entire universe"

Actually, that's a lie. I have an office job. I'm also qualified in reflexology, Indian head massage and sports massage.

Being a member of the London Cupid Alcoholics Society.

I'll also be squaring off against 70sChild for the title of Real Queen of England in a vat of vanilla pudding on Pay-Per-View on the 15th of next month. Contact my epimp Thig for payment details.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

messing about, flirting, making people laugh, listening, laughing at freaks, tightlacing, breaking things, apparently reading 'too much' into song lyrics, wishing I was Gwen Stefani, fancying Dita Von Teese, being emo without the nasty shoes, cooking for appreciative people, being stalked, horse riding, getting jealous for no reason, pretending to be cool, 'your mum' jokes, Guitar Hero (on Easy), telling the most thrillingly long stories that will have you riveted to your seat with interest and wonder....

...and I'm great in bed.

EDITORS

• desihannagan

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

"Big black boots, long brown hair, she's so sweet with her get back stare"

edit (Jan 07): I cut the hair and went back to my redhead roots, but I still have the boots

"Perfect make-up but she's barely scraping by"

Often it's my shoes. Or the fact that I dress like a 1940's war bride. I talk. A lot. And I laugh. Too much and at inappropriate times. Sometimes it's that I'm singing -- in the car, at my desk, in the supermarket on my own or along with whatever song is on the stereo in the bar that I'm in. Mine's a Scarlett, by the way...

I have quite a lot of trouble with eye contact. Most people notice that I'm rarely looking them in the eye. It makes me uncomfortable. There are very few exceptions to this, but they know who they are. I'm working on it.

I fidget. All the frickin' time.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

a/ Probably my favourite book is Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. Also Burlesque/Fetish and the Art of the Teese by Dita von Teese and La Gloire de Mon Père by Marcel Pagnol.

b/ Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Kill Bill 2, The Wedding Singer, Napoleon Dynamite, The Little Mermaid, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Annie Hall, Anchorman.

c/ Dashboard Confessional, Tenacious D, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Motion City Soundtrack, No Doubt, Foo Fighters, Sonic Boom Six, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, The Juliana Theory, Arctic Monkeys

d/ I try not to eat...it makes me fat!

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

I would HATE to be without my family, my friends, love, music, my car and the ability to write. Oh and my camera. And books. And the ability to count to six.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

Cock....

"Who are you? I can't remember your name. Where am I? What was I gonna say? What's the time? What day is it today? I feel fine, I'll probably be okay"

"So many moons that we have seen, Stumbling back next to me, I've seen right through and underneath, And you make me better"

"Sitting round feeling far away, so far away but I can feel the debris, can you feel it?"

I think a lot about what to write in my journal. It's either emo shit or funny shit. Or sometimes both. Or cat or goth macros. Or sometimes both.

I like to make up stories for people I see in the street or the bar. I sometimes manage to convince other people that it's a good pastime too.

I think too much in general. I freak myself out sometimes with my overanalysis.

I wonder why people would wear ugly shoes, or why some peoples' friends allow them to go out for the evening wearing those clothes. Believe it or not, I don't judge people on appearances. But I will judge their friends for being so bitchy as to let them go out looking like crap so as to lessen the competition.

I spend a lot of time wondering how I got myself into whatever mess I'm in, and how to get out of it. Usually I can't.

I am the evil twin to this work of art in female form.

I'm WAAAY better mannered than him, but he still thinks I'm awesome in bed. He's right.

Her. She's ravishing!

And this woman puts the dance in my pants. And she loves my tits! Just ask her. She'll tell you the same thing!

EDITORS

• desihannagan

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

"Dancing on a Friday night, Let the music smother me, Whole weekend recovery, Dancing on a Friday night"

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

"the bmx bike of my life is about to explode"

You should message me if Propose an edit

you feel like it....or if you recognised any of the quotes up there ^^^^^ ....or if you're a man who wears eyeliner and/or looks like Evan Dando.

I very rarely send the first message, so don't wait for me!

I'm NOT looking for offers of sex. Stalkers need not apply. If I want to cyber or have phone sex, you can rest assured it won't be with someone trawling for exactly that on an internet dating site.

Update: Please do *not* mail me if you haven't read my profile, and don't have anything interesting to say. I'm afraid the recent spate of 'you so beautiful lady' and 'hi' mails from Kazakhstan or wherever just aren't doing it for me.

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