an email from OKcupid:

About you, nobacon:

Your personality: Really great
How bad guys want you: So bad
Your profile, as of 8 milliseconds ago: Approved!

emulating Ke$ha songs

offending others, finding the humor in everything (the two go hand in hand), and goddamn am I good at trivia night at the bar

that I am one classy bitch.

Guess what? I don't fucking eat bacon.

The following emoticons:

CRAP. They don't show up here. Guess I can live without em.

***CAPSLOCK. CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT CAPSLOCK.

"does anyone REALLY get it?" and "should I turn off CAPSLOCK?"

dressin it down, hittin on dudes HARD.

OH I DON'T KNOW... that I have control issues? I definitely would not want to admit that I am currently reading an ebook of 50 Shades of Grey at work between calls and that's why there's always that "smile" in my voice.

YOU NOTICE THE TAB THAT SAYS "Y'ALL GOT ISSUES". Nothing turns me on more than the thought of arguing about god, science, and politics with the men of OKC. So if you happened to pop over and think "DAMN THIS GIRL IS SMOKIN" and then you see "OH NO WE HAVE ISSUES" - send that message with all the information on what our issues are and I'd love to take 3-7 years changing my mind and points of view to cater to you. Just like the Destiny's Child song.