Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


34 Oslo, Norway Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Mar 24
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Used up
Mostly other
Atheism, and laughing about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Working on space camp
Science / Engineering
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Norwegian (Fluently), French (Okay), Esperanto (Okay), Chinese (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

TL;DR: I am a word salad slut. If you're interesting and the planets are well aligned, I'll probably message you huge, rambling messages forever. I am the polar opposite of those "hey ur hot want to meet up 4 a beer" guys. (In all likelihood I won't send you pictures of my cock either.) Which means I'm complete rubbish at the "dating" part of "internet dating," but to each their own. It's not that I mind, it's just that I love the sound of my own keyboard. I love sharing stories, ideas, points of view, blah blah blah. I don't message anyone without text in their profile, but I do message profiles without pictures. I'm not here just to score mad poon. (But hey, if you're offering...) My replete mailbox has plenty of love for guys/lesbians/asexuals as well. & even my TL;DRs are too long.

I enjoy cheeseburgers and science, because cheeseburgers are tasty and because science provides me with nuggets such as:

"We know that the preferred mating style of most mammals is from behind, where the shape and color of animal buttocks is a beacon of fertility, but as humans grew to walk upright, our mating style changed too. Thus, the female breasts mimic the shape of buttocks (a theory by Desmond Morris) as we perform coitus face to face. It's no wonder we find both equally arousing."

Isn't that wonderful? I also like dogs, cats, and programming computers. Mathematics has very little to do with numbers, but I like both numbers and mathematics. There's something wrong with my brain, making it want to solve puzzles even though that doesn't really get me laid (much).

Books. Books. Books. I like books and music. Music. MUSIC.

Learning new things is my favorite pastime. I want to understand everything.

I'm introverted, abstract, intuitive, intellectually curious, analytical, casual, impulsive, open -- which spells out personality type INTP if that means anything to you, though I really wish I was ENTP or XNTX. Enneagram 5w4.

Here's a joke:

Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: No.

It's hilarious. Trust me.

SEE THIS JOURNAL POST for various semi-interesting randomness, anecdotes, and ice-breakers if you actually want to know more.

Jeg er en meget seriøs og alvorlig mann. Livet er for kort til at en kan kaste bort tiden på hensiktsløse hobbyer og romantiske svermerier. Jeg tolererer ikke barnslighet og synes at en burde vise litt folkskikk og oppføre seg som voksne mennesker her i verden. Kunst er for de som er for late til å foreta seg noe skikkelig. Jeg kan ikke fordra bortskjemte mennesker som ikke setter pris på verdien av en krone. Hva politikk angår, så synes jeg Norge hadde hatt godt av om vi vendte tilbake til noen av de mer tradisjonelle verdiene vi hadde før alle denne nymotens liberalismen; "progressivitet" er bare en unnskyldning for å kunne være umoralsk og lat. Jeg vil gjerne ha meg frabedt all form for sarkasme annet tull.

Jeg er her for giftemål og barn og vil kun ha saklige henvisninger. Gud må være en viktig del av livet ditt.


I am ADHD, brb, and


Update: my other profile for when I was working in Poland for six months: OURARDORS (full disclosure yay! more words yay!)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Waitin' around to die.

I'm a programmer. You know, 1s and 0s, bits and bytes. Stuff like that.

Pretending I'm a hamster in a wheel:

1. "Hmm, nothing new on Reddit. Time to do something else."
2. Open new tab.
3. Pause for a second, thinking.
4. Type in redd--
5. "Oh, fuck my life."
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Here are some things I enjoy and/or do whenever I can, so maybe I'm good at some of them:

* reading, exploring music, and other stuff mentioned elsewhere here
* languages (and linguistics), vocabulary
* writing (not well -- I am merely referring to the act of spamming words: I've sent first-contact messages on here that I had to split into three parts because of the 10k character limit. Take a wild guess as to how successful that is w.r.t. reply-rate.)
* problem solving
* "discussions" (a.k.a. arguments)
* fucking, cuddling, grabbing, clawing, biting, caressing, kissing, licking, squeeeezing, punching, massaging (not necessarily in that order)
* evolutionary psychology, cognitive science, neuroscience
* the effects of placebo
* word games
* abstract board games (go, hex, twixt, etc.)
* actually, any kind of board game
* actually, any kind of game
* programming languages, compilers, type theory, number theory & other dorky shit that only guys care about. Sexist, I know.
* chillin', sleeping, ignoring you

Lately I'm attempting to learn how to draw, but I still suck at it. (Edit: yeah that lasted like a whole week.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I have a fucked up Sandnes/Stavanger accent of EG LIGE IKKJE LUDAFISK. Yes I know it's ugly, and yes I know it's hard for you to understand me sometimes. I'm trying. I'll often use English words in Norwegian speech, because those words come to me quicker.

I think small-talk sucks fucking balls and I let it show. If we have absolutely nothing in common, we better damn be wasted, having sex, or watching/doing something interesting because there's just no way...

I've been told I'm "good one on one, but bad in groups [of strangers]" so don't introduce me to your friends just yet.

I'm ugly like a motherfucker, but I'm so charming and suave, so it's OK.

Et appelons un chat un chat, il est clair que j'ai une forme de l'autisme.

Utdrag fra pasientjournal:

"Kliniske inntrykk:
Pasienten gir liten øyekontakt, ser til siden, han begynner ikke å snakke spontant, men svarer på spørsmål. Jeg må ofte spørre om igjen for jeg forstår ikke alt han sier, litt dårlig artikulasjon. Han glir vekk mange ganger under konsultasjonen, stirrer forbi meg, tar ikke opp igjen tråden. Er åpenbart konsentrasjonssvak og mister tilsynelatende interessen raskt for samtalen, tar på seg luen, ser på mobilen, midt i konsultasjonen tar han opp en matematikkbok og begynner å lese i denne, merker tilsynelatende ikke at det oppstår en pause hvor jeg betrakter ham og avventer at han skal vise oppmerksomhet og svare på spørsmål. [...]
[Pasienten] har tidligere hatt fire kjæresteforhold, inkludert samboerskap m.m. Han har etter hva jeg forstår hatt lite venner gjennom oppveksten, kontakten har etter hva jeg får inntrykk av vært med enkelte gjennom felles interesse for dataspill. [...] som liten var "Klassens klovn", fikk masse anmerkninger, var urolig, foreldre ble innkalt. Han fikk likevel minst gjennomsnittskarakterer, var spesielt god i matematikk, fulgte undervisning i 6. klasse allerede da han gikk i 3. klasse. [...]
Virker som om det foreligger Asperger syndrom med komorbid resttilstand av ADHD. Trolig kompensert gjennom høy IQ. [...]"

Nydelig. Men vær ikke redd, jeg er helt normal, voksen person. Jeg liker Coldplay og ser på Paradise Hotel som alle andre.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm gonna tl;dr this section and dump to journal instead, so see this post

I've read a lot of books. I have opinions about them. Blah, blah, blah, who cares, right? See the journal post. I probably own more than 50-100k NOK worth of books and I swear I've read at least half of them! :( The language of the book is what's most important to me, not the plot.

Q: how many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: it's a very obscure number... I doubt you've heard of it.

For your internet stalking pleasure, my profile is here: LINK, not that it is very informative, but I can guarantee two things:

1. I'll be into something you love.
2. I'll be into something you can't stand.

I've probably seen less movies than I've read books, but I do love them. Alone I just never get around to it or I'm too distracted. I don't subscribe to particular genres but I generally enjoy stuff that's clever, complicated, original, beautiful, or sad. The thought of spending all night in bed with someone watching TV-series is vastly appealing. I also like watching stuff that's so bad it's good. Again: see relevant journal post.

Food. Mexican food and cheese make me happy. Cheese. I'm the equivalent of a serial monogamist when it comes to food though. I'll find something new and then eat only that for a week, out of laziness or because I'm doing it on a dare / as an experiment, and then move on to the next thing. Variety? I haven't heard of it. I need cheese. Cheese.

Other than that I'd eat rotting garbage out of a tin can. I probably have, actually. You'd be surprised. And I am one of those people who can't even be expected to boil some eggs without messing up something.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Deep in the forest there's a cabin where Jesus Christ our Savior, Son of God, King of Kings, Lord of Lords and the Holy Spirit are playing bridge against Philip Seymour Hoffman and Walt Whitman. The only sound in the room comes from an old, crackling radio playing The Doors' The End. On the table next to Philip's nervous elbow rests a mirror with three unfinished lines of coke. Jesus' eyes glints as he bids 4 spades to Walt.

My last six things was a list of the six kinds of ways people tended to fill out this box.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Puzzles, games, female buttocks, computers, numbers.

All the things that could be, but which are not.

"Sometimes, people confuse being depressed with being philosophical." (And on that note.)

"Neuroscientists have located the part of the brain that is impressed by brain scans and hand-wavy claims about neuroscience."

How perfect this this news story is. You can't make this stuff up.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
just as sexy as I am on every other day of the week.

très sexy !
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am vaguely aware that this question is only here to weed out idiots like me. Sure, you're all having a good time with flirty-talk about masturbation habits and then you tell them about that one time a blood vessel burst and your penis started bleeding because it just pops into your head, and suddenly they get turned off? Pff. Some people.

Random, just for show: when I was a kid I got so fed up with / afraid of having wet dreams I started to stuff my boxer briefs with toilet paper so it wouldn't leak every which way. (Before I found out you had to clean the pipes regularly to avoid it.)

I bet I can out-creep any female on here. Except for that chick who wants to have sex with dogs. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Mi parolas etan Esperanton, kiu signifas mi volas suĉi kacon.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
IF YOU WANT TO GO TO MUSIC SHOWS WITH ME. I have no one to go with anymore and it's depressing going alone. I'll name John Dee, Blå, Parkteateret, Rockefeller, Mono, and Garage as likely destinations.


You're sexier than I am. Let's share our bookshelves and read each others' texts. Euphemistically.


If you "kinda" like me, but I'm just not good enough for you, I have some other wonderful suggestions of people you might like: pito_1988 (someone just like me), kassey4u or spicybarbiee (personality-wise, me and these lovely ladies are close like three balls in a ballsack), TheBoyNextDoor07 (seems like a great catch to me), ...

or my lovers: Hrafnagud, Alex_Mnemonic, poiko.