I am highly cerebral tempered with caring, affection,
understanding, patience, and cerebral humor.
I am a man of principles, and while the principles themselves are
simple, the depth of thought surrounding them is not.
Physically, I had let myself slip for several years. I am now
working on getting back in shape. If you're looking for someone
who's fit now, I am not for you. If being and becoming healthy are
more important to you, I can live up to that.
The "has a kid" refers to my now adult daughter who lives with her
mother in a different county. My daughter and I have a good
relationship, but we don't see each other a lot, mostly just texts
I have tried to find a way to express what I am looking for in a
potential partner, and my iterations have brought me to "mentally
flexible" and "open hearted." (Not literally open hearted as I am
not a surgeon.) Open minded has too many other implications, and I
really wanted to convey a sense of low hatred, lack of
judgmentalism, and sincere caring. For mental flexibility, I wanted
to convey the notion of intelligence without the judgment, tempered
by a fundamental lack of rigidity. The desire to "become right" or
to maintain accuracy is higher than the desire to cling to "being
right." And as I place negative value on hypocrisy, I do very much
try to uphold these values myself.
Also, word play.
What I’m doing with my life
I am working part time while going back to school for an AS in a
different field. In my spare time, I visit with friends and family,
or do activities I enjoy, like hiking, reading, gaming, and
I’m really good at
Lots of things. Computers in general, math (at least below the
calculus level; my calculus is rusty), communications, logic
(analysis and contract interpretation), abstract concepts, and on a
more interpersonal level, understanding, being supportive, massages
and hugs. When you're teddy bear-ish like me, you have to be good
The first things people usually notice about me
always depends on the person and context. Plus, shame on me for not
asking everyone I meet for the first time this question. I know for
a fact some people notice I am caring and understanding very
quickly, otherwise why else would they tell me their life story at
first meeting in the grocery store?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I am up to date on the Song of Ice and Fire series, enjoying the
new Game of Thrones episodes as they are released. I enjoy movies
that have humor, action, romantic and philosophical themes combined
ranging from The Princess Bride and Army of Darkness to Fifth
Element and the original Total Recall to American Beauty, Vanilla
Sky, and beyond. For music, I enjoy it softly but don't have much
of a preference (not big on hate proliferating rap, death metal or
loud in general). And for food, outside of eating smaller portions
than I used to, I enjoy many different kinds of food. Most
recently, I tried Cambodian cuisine the other day with a friend.
The six things I could never do without
I can appreciate several styles of response to this question. The
witty literal response (including oxygen, water, and food, as
without those, anyone would die) amuses me. Possibly the response
type least endearing to me is the list of material objects a person
feels attached to, as I am neither very commercial nor
materialistic. The transformative response where people list some
things they value highly, even if they don't "need" them per se,
appeals to me most at the time of writing this, so I shall list a
Thought – “the unexamined life is not worth living” is extreme and
unnatural applied to others as many people can be happy without
doing so, but to me, my life is more complete with thinking.
People to care about – alone time is fine, but life without this
would be empty.
Communication – open, honest, direct, yet still tactful. Without
this, relationships with the above become unnecessarily
Nature – the natural beauty of the world. To me, concrete jungles
are ugly and lifeless.
Finally, this is more of an ultimate want than a “need” as I'm not
going to try to push any person into this, but one of the biggest
goals for my life is to have a life partner that I can share and
enjoy the rest of my life with.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
whatever I come across and life in general. I like making sense of
things but not in a way that overlooks my limitations in
On a typical Friday night I am
usually spending time with friends or family, more likely to eat
dinner out, or doing something relaxing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In person, I'm generally an open book with the disclaimer, "don't
ask a question you don't want to know the answer to." There is
nothing I feel a particular need to disclose in the context of this
You should message me if
you'd like to get to know me better as a friend with or without the
possibility of more. If for whatever reason you think I'd make a
good friend but not interested in dating, tell me! I'm absolutely
fine with that. I don't agree with the notion that the man should
always make the first move (not that I'm shy or lack confidence,
just that it is unnecessarily limiting that just because I don't
talk to someone first that someone interested in me can't initiate
the conversation), and don't place any extra expectation just
because one does.