Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

NINJA: Abrahim has the details.

So, my name is a version of Honey Bee. I sting as much as my namesake, but suck on less flowers. I don't die within 24 hours of stinging, so maybe I'm not so much like my namesake. Huh. Go figure.

I am not looking to help you cheat on your girlfriend, even if it's psychologically, even if it's just for pretend. If you want that, buy some fucking porn, buy a fucking hooker, go to a fucking counselor. Make sure to use a jimmy and try to let her know, that she isn't meeting some kind of whatever she isn't meeting.

People honestly don't know they're failing you, unless you tell them.

Ok, enough of that bullshit.

I am from a tiny ass town in the middle of no-fucking-where, MN. I grew up in a relatively sheltered environment. I mean, I may have seen so many fucked up things it will set your head spinning, I am still honestly one of the most innocent, naive people you will ever meet.

Don't tell me I need to open my eyes, don't tell me I'm closed-minded. It's actually, honestly, none of your business. I know that, I am okay with how I am and who I am.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

Right now, I'm a little bit lonesome time, but I am never alone. I keep myself busy with some great friends and some lame ones, a wonderful and terrible family. New and old music. I love youtube for it's instant gratification on my 80s and 90s jonesing.

I am dealing with the incongruities of faith and what they mean to me.

I am into not judging people. I don't think that's my job. I don't think, even if I was holy, it would be my job. I don't think it's yours either.

I'm hyper-critical of everything and everybody. That seems contradictory. But maybe it just means, I try to be aware. I try to see.

I don't hate anything or anyone. That also isn't my job.

I love all things and everyone. That is what I'm here for. To love a thunderstorm and a flood of blood.

I just try to do my best by the world. And that isn't anything but it is everything.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

Empathy

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

If people see me, which they don't always. Because in crowds, I hide or leave. I am usually not into the whole, meeting people thing.

I have a severe anti-social disorder, but that's under the surface. I hide it well, when I hide it. If I don't bother to hide it. They notice me hiding under shit, or twitching.

Or they, if they are so focused, notice my boobs, and my hips and my ass. They notice my lips and my hair and my eyes.

Or they notice my clothes, because I have horrible fashion. I just put on whatever. Because seriously, I don't care. I really don't.

What they don't notice about me, the under the surface, is that I am terribly sensitive, horribly violent, potentially loving, incredibly sensual, intuitive and full of moxy.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

Horoscope books are fun.

Action and blow 'em up movies excite me.

A perfect circle has been whispering to me.

And I'll eat just about anything. But that doesn't mean I'll eat everything.

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

A notebook.

A good pen.

Jeans.

Hoodies.

Toothpaste.

Sugar.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

Just what are we doing to each other. The world is in such turmoil and what do we do? We do our best to fucking slay each other, with words, with deeds, with fucking glances... and why?

So that we can think we're better than someone, so that we can emotionally and electronically stone them to death? What is that going to do for our egos? How is that going to make us any better inside?

Or:

I think about how much I love the smell of wet dirt, or the feel of an aloe plant, all rubbery waxlike. I like to take hot showers, to sleep in, to have a cold room and be snuggled under layers of blankets or snuggled against someone warm.

I like the smell of babies and kittens and puppies.

I like the taste of skittles, pixy stix and chewy sweet tarts.

I wonder if I'll be able to say everything I want to say before I've said everything I need to say.

That everything, this moment, is exactly the way it is meant to be.

I don't want to change anything about the past except one, because I never told my sister how much I love her. And that still fucks me up.

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

Hiding in my room, because my phobia of the world is growing into something akin to Agoraphobia. I need to get a better therapist, because I'm pretty sure that phobias shouldn't be compounding themselves in layers in my brain.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

Here are some of my phobias:

Clowns, ladybugs, the sudden dark, mirrors at night, windows at night, closets (mostly at night), cow eyes, crowds, fucking MALL Santa and Easter Bunny, actually any of those huge stuffed animals, most dolls.

I am also willing to admit, I used to be crazy but I'm getting better now.

Everything is a process and maybe I'm too fucked up for someone, I am so beautifully nuanced that I love myself now more than ever.

You should message me if Propose an edit

You can entice me.

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