Once upon a time, there were 3 profiles: a tough guy profile, a
sensitive guy profile, and a funny guy profile. One day, Goldylocks
logged onto OKCupid and read the profiles.
She read the first profile and thought, "This profile is too hard.
He's kinda hot and sexy, but he's probably an ass."
She read the second profile and thought, "This profile is too soft.
He seems really sweet, but he's probably a wimp."
She read the third profile and thought, "This profile is too silly.
He makes me laugh, but there's not much else I'm attracted
Suddenly, a meteor crashed through Goldylock's roof, bringing her
short life to a sad ending, but saving the 3 bears from higher
internet usage charges that month.
But that meteor did something else. Somehow it combined those three
profiles into one. One profile that described a man who was strong,
sensitive, and funny all at once.
What I’m doing with my life
Taking risks. Discovering new possibilities. Loving my friends.
Helping my sons learn to become men.
I’m really good at
Staying clearheaded in a crisis.
Drinking strawberry margaritas. I'm not just "good" at this, I'm
The first things people usually notice about me
My buns of steel.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite flavors of ice cream are Ben & Jerry's Phish food,
Cake Batter, Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough. Ice cream is awesome!
The six things I could never do without
3. Woodland creatures
4. Weirdos that challenge our normal way of thinking
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How most things in life come down to the choices we make. Even when
bad things happen, how we choose to react and respond to them is
what matters the most.
On a typical Friday night I am
Helping widows and orphans and rescuing puppies from trees. Any
puppy that can climb a tree deserves to be rescued.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When the zombie apocalypse comes (and it will come). I will not
fight against the zombies. I will lead the zombies in battle and
rule the world.
You should message me if
You have drama. Lots and lots of drama! People with no drama in
their lives bore me to tears.
You know where Waldo is. Dude owes me 100 bucks!
You can make me laugh.
You think you're a little bit crazy.
You think deep, complicated, fascinating thoughts.