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29 Washington, DC Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23-31
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jan 26
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Average build
Judaism and laughing about it
Working on Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), LISP (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am not a dinosaur. I don't know too many terrible lizard people. I'm not sure why so many people have -saurus as the end of their user name.

I am a male great ape, and compared to my closest relatives I have an unusually upright posture, little body hair, and a small stomach which means I prefer my food processed by fire. I have considerable mental faculties, and with them extend my lifespan.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I form symbiotic relationships with plants and animals, guiding their growth and reproduction for my own purposes. I reshape the land and reroute the water around me. I seek shelter and build complex communities through kinship, trade, and politics. I communicate verbally with a variety of languages and visually with a wide array of symbols. Uniquely among the various species inhabiting Earth, I search for understanding, meaning, and intellectual stimulation.
I stare at a glowing rectangle and evoke changes on it by smashing my digits against small buttons. In these and other ways I seek love, companionship, and the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

From what I glean from people's profiles, I am prone to argue about the Oxford comma. Let's just say: it is correct, and anyone intentionally leaving it out is obviously a gibbon.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Complex stereoscopic color vision, slow maturation, and marked sexual dimorphism. I have surprising stamina and can hunt prey by exhaustion.

I domesticate animals, mine and refine metals for tools, and have superficial tribal instincts. I purposefully ferment beverages to temporarily alter my mental state. I have a firm grasp of logic, geometry, and higher mathematics.

I have put the seeds of Mother Earth into space, and have sent mechanical envoys to the outer planets. I know that the world is quantum-mechanical and generally relativistic, and I believe the Church-Turing Thesis is a physical law. I have split the atom, decoded the DNA of life on Earth, and laughed at cat videos on YouTube.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have notably mobile shoulders, dextrous fingers and opposable thumbs, a characteristically large brain, and true bipedalism.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A sampling of my favorite music was recently launched into space.

I am omnivorous, but can adapt to a wide range of diets. I cook, and have developed agriculture and dairy farming; all three possibly effected evolutionary change in my biology.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My five senses, and water.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At a quiet bar sitting and talking with friends, or at a movie, or playing a board game somewhere, or at a house party, or cooking something, or seeing some live music, or recovering from the week at home with a good book or movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes I make things up because I am uncomfortable with uncertainty.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are an interesting, sapient, modern-day simian;
you appreciate the joke/rant that is this profile or have a correction to offer;
you don't mind silly word play;
you like holding hands.