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22 Phoenix, AZ Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 20–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:03pm
Relationship Type
5' 7" (1.71m)
Body Type
Full figured
Not at all
Atheism and laughing about it
Dropped out of University
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), Sign Language (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I was fourteen I complained to a kid in a wheelchair about having to walk home and that's when I realized I'm kind of an asshole.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Just the other day I bought my dog a Run DMC shirt. That's about all I've got goin' on.

I'm gonna work in TV one day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Telling people when I've reached the halfway point of a book.

Making other people's moms feel sorry for me. I just have a sad face, I promise I'm fine.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You're the funniest person I know" my five year old cousin, who doesn't know anyone

"You have so much hair!" every woman in her early to mid thirties

"You always look really angry" everyone else
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Galapagos, House of Leaves, Dracula, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Devil in the Details, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns), Psycho, To Kill a Mockingbird, It, Shopgirl, The Book Thief, The Magician's Nephew, The Shining, When She Was Good, Haunted, Goat, She's Come Undone, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, The Red Badge of Courage, Player Piano.

The Jerk, Natural Born Killers, The Machinist, I Think We're Alone Now, Frost/Nixon, American Beauty, The Truman Show, Cry-Baby, Mary and Max, Heathers, Flight, Space Jam, Labyrinth, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Still Alice, What We Do in the Shadows, Shattered Glass, Her, Drop Dead Fred, It, The Jungle Book.

The Life and Times of Tim, King of the Hill, The Oblongs, Weeds, Law and Order, Clarence, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Broad City, Orange is the New Black, Californication, Bojack Horseman, The Sopranos, The Riches, Wilfred, Leave it to Beaver, Six Feet Under, Scrubs, Flight of the Conchords, Lucky Louie, Pushing Daisies, Little Britain, Dexter, Home Movies, Summer Heights High, Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy, The Office, Black Mirror, Parks and Rec, Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Freaks and Geeks, Orphan Black, Goosebumps, Bob's Burgers, United States of Tara, Twin Peaks.

Jane's Addiction, NWA, Garfunkel and Oates, Math the Band, High School Football Heroes, The Refreshments, Bright Eyes, Wallpaper, A Published Life, Say Anything, Portugal. The man, Flight of the Conchords.

I just put peanut butter on everything and call it a day.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Steve Martin×6
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Did I close my car door? I should probably go out and check.

Speaking of cars, what's with guys having a car as their only picture? Why? I can guarantee no one appreciates that.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Breathalyzing and crying, probably. It's a charmed life.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I got lice in third grade so my dad shaved my head in an alley. It was the beginning of my downfall.

I usually only get around to texting back when I'm pooping, so.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I work anywhere from 0 to 16 hours a day. Odds are I'll make plans and life will ruin them. Please don't yell at me, let's try again next week.

If you start your food order with "I need..." you're an asshole who doesn't need those things and I hate you. Don't message me, we can't be friends.