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21 F Glendale, AZ

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:33am
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Atheism, and laughing about it
Dropped out of university
Banking / Finance
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Sign Language (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I was fourteen I complained to a kid in a wheelchair about having to walk home and that's when I realized I'm kind of an asshole.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm spending my early twenties trying to make my guinea pig love me. Adulthood is better than I ever imagined.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Telling people when I've reached the halfway point of a book.

Accidentally telling customers to have a good gay.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You're the funniest person I know" my five year old cousin, who doesn't know anyone

"You have so much hair!" every woman in her early to mid thirties

"Are you blind?" some asshole

"You always look really angry" everyone else
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Galapagos, Dracula, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Devil in the Details, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns), Psycho, To Kill a Mockingbird, Shopgirl, The Book Thief, The Magician's Nephew, Haunted, Goat, She's Come Undone, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, The Red Badge of Courage, Player Piano.

The Jerk, An American Crime, Natural Born Killers, The Truman Show, Flight, Labyrinth, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Her, Drop Dead Fred, It, The Jungle Book.

The Life and Times of Tim, King of the Hill, The Oblongs, Weeds, Law and Order, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Orange is the New Black, Leave it to Beaver, Flight of the Conchords, Lucky Louie, Pushing Daisies, Little Britain, Home Movies, Summer Heights High, Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy, Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Freaks and Geeks, Orphan Black, Goosebumps, Bob's Burgers, United States of Tara, Twin Peaks.

Jane's Addiction, NWA, High School Football Heroes, The Refreshments, Bright Eyes, Wallpaper, A Published Life, Say Anything, Portugal. The man, Flight of the Conchords.

Grilled cheese, sourdough toast, zucchini.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Sunblock, cereal, blankets, dogs, tacos, Steve Martin.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Did I close my car door? I should probably go out and check.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Last Friday I got drunk, ate Jack in the Box, and watched Space Jam by myself. It's a charmed life.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I got lice in third grade so my dad shaved my head in an alley. It was the beginning of my downfall.

I actually did forget how to ride a bike.

I've been in the psych hospital. Twice.

When I was younger I had a recurring nightmare about Grimace from Mcdonalds.

I talk really slow. Like, had to go to speech therapy three times a week as a kid slow.

I'm not a private person.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 20–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wanna tell me about the first song you remember being your favorite song.

You're Denzel Washington and you wanna adopt me.

You can tell me what to expect when I move to Pennsylvania.

You wanna get tacos at five am.

If you start your food order with "I need..." you're an asshole who doesn't need those things and I hate you. Don't message me, we can't be friends.