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notaninjawalrus

26 M New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Jul 17
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I just feel like only listing reasons why I'm great is shitty writting, and I should try to improve the quality of the writing by introducing some character flaws, which kind of defies the point of an essay that's supposed to make people like you. Thought I'd never have to do this again after I got into college but I guess that's just not how life works out. Anyway, here it goes:

I am a 25-year-old currently living in New York who is not, in fact, a 1/10th scale ninja walrus. I want to be a writer when I grow up--something that I should have done by now but am committed to putting off for as long as humanly possible and then for a few months after that--although right now I'm going through a bit of a rough patch right now. I still have a lot of creativity that I try to apply to my daily actions though. On my good days I believe that life is a piece of art and we need to approach each piece of it as creatively as possible. On my bad days I sit at home worrying about how cheesy that sounds and how little sense it makes. On my strange days I have an epiphany that nothing in life will ever make the slightest bit of sense to me and it is my holy mission to spread as much confusion as possible.

I am zany, cuddly, and funny
What I’m doing with my life
Slightly more than I'd be doing without it.
I’m really good at
Writing and making people smile
The first things people usually notice about me
I honestly have no idea.

My eyes maybe.

Wait, that was an idea.

*vanishes is poof of contradiction*
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Way to many of each to list, but from the top of my head

Books: Lolita, Dune (first four books), most things by Philip K Dick but paticularly A Scanner Darkly, Good Omens as well as far to many Discworld books to mention, The Martian Chronicles, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, few enough Douglas Adams books to mention but I won't, Neuromancer, Cat's Cradle (and a lot of Vonnegut)

comics: Prez, Sandman (particularly Brief Lives and Kindly Ones), Pride of Baghdad, Calvin and Hobbes, The Adventures of Jimmy Corrigan: the smartest kid on Earth, Transmetropolitan, Epileptic, Watchmen, Persepolis 1, Dogs and Water, Issue 5 of Animal Man (The Coyote Gospel)

movies: Brazil, A Clockwork Orange, American Beauty, Godfather, Dr. Strangelove, Monty Python's Holy Grail (but please, do not quote it), Apocalypse Now, Jan Svankmajer's Alice, Reservoir Dogs, Alien

Music (Wow, cannot believe I forgot music when I wrote this almost a year ago and didn't notice until now): The Allman Brothers Band, The Beatles latter stuff, John Lennon's solo, Blue Oyster Cult, Bob Dylan, Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band, Cat Stevens, The Clash, Cream, David Bowie, The Doors, The Flaming Lips, Flight of the Conchords, The Pixies, Frank Black's solo, Frank Zappa (And the Mothers of Invention), The Frogs, Grateful Dead, Iron & Wine, The Isley Brothers, Jefferson Airplane, Jethro Tull, Jimi Hendrix Experience, King Crimson, The Kinks, Led Zeppelin, Velvet Underground, Modest Mouse, Moldy Peaches, The Mountain Goats, Neutral Milk Hotel, Nirvana (not so much Nevermind though), Of Montreal, Pink Floyd, The Presidents of the United States of America, Radiohead, Ray Charles, The Residents, Strutt My Stuff, Talking Heads, Tenacious D, They Might Be Giants, Violent Femmes, Weezer, The White Stripes, The Who, William Shatner, Yes

tv shows: The Prisoner, The Twilight Zone, The Simpsons (seasons 4-9), Futurama, The Sopranos, Doctor Who, 30 Rock, Seinfeld, It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Firefly, The Office, Flight of the Conchords

video games: Planescape: Torment, Half-Life (1,2 and especially episodes), Legend of Zelda (any), Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer, Portal, Super Mario Bros. 3, Fallout 1&2, Baldur's Gate 1&2, Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time, Soul Calibur 2,Deus Ex, for some reason an incredible admiration for the King Kong video game that I know it doesn't deserve

Food: I like food a lot
The six things I could never do without
my brain, heart, stomach and three cups of coffee.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
the limits of my conciousness. And elephants.

Also how much better the world would be if the word for palindrome was a palindrome. It would be great.

And finally, what it means that I'm the only person I've ever met that likes Seinfeld but not Curb Your Enthusiasm.
On a typical Friday night I am
out with friends or home watching a movie
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
It couldn't be very private if I was willing to post it online but okay, I guess I could admit that I cried.

I caught the bastard trying to fix the deal when it was his turn to shuffle. So I think here's my excuse to reach across the table and nab half of his chips, seeing that he was cheating and all. But the fucker spits, right in my face. After I caught him fixing the deal! So I slug him.

Thinks escalated in the way you'd probably expect. He grabs a pool cue, I grab a bottle, he breaks a bottle, I grab a knife. Next thing I know I'm burying him in this place I know of, and God is telling me to be strong, you know, man up a little. I did the right thing and have to be strong about it was his point. And I knew that he was right, being omnicent and all, but even so, I started to ball out right then and there. Sonofabitch I cried.

I've never told anyone that I cried before.

Also you can trust me. With whatever. You know.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 18–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You don't mind getting lost on even the simplest trips.

Also please don't message me if you're interested because our zodiac signs match or because we're both Jewish (which it doesn't say on my profile but I think was a match question). That's just prejiduced