Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm fiercely open-hearted and open-heartedly fierce.
Everything I do is reaching toward: how can we be together better -
as lovers, as families, as communities, as citizens of the
I'm a relationship anarchist. To me, this means I create my own
vocabulary around every connection, and I can say to everyone in my
life: I love a number of different people in a number of different
ways, but that doesn't take away from how much I love you. I'm very
into the idea of longterm commitment and/or longterm intentions,
but I don't think that those things constitute the only valuable
kind of connection. Here
's a (necessarily reductive) manifesto that
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I recently did a concert of a huge score I've been working on for
nine years, and I'm the music director of Anais Mitchell's
Hadestown at New York Theater Workshop.
I'm currently finishing post-production on two music videos for the
album I made through a cross-country house concert/conversation
tour about love, sex, and family.
Spring of 2016, I've got a show at the Bushwick Starr, a concert in
a festival in Philly, an artist residency upstate, and a workshop
of a new piece at NYU Abu Dhabi.
I co-host a podcast about sex, the tagline of which is
"authenticity and communication are the sexiest". On it, I get to
be in public conversation with a bunch of my heroes.
I'm working on a dating app specifically for kinky people, and I
have a sex and relationships coaching practice.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Facilitation: synthesizing/coordinating people and ideas
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
So I’m told - a distinct aura of joy
Also, the green streaks in my hair
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Currently Reading: "The Argonauts" by Maggie Nelson
Favorites: Nicholson Baker, Rebecca Solnit
Currently Listening To: "Futurity" by the Lisps
Favorites: Joanna Newsom, Nina Simone
Recently Re-Watched: Wall-E
Favorites: Terrence Malick, Terry Gilliam
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
In any encounter: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CARE
ABOUT? AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT? I'm not one for
small talk. :)
I ascribe not only importance, but *holiness* to human connection.
Care and community are everything. In everything I do, artistically
or otherwise, if the well-being of myself and others is not
paramount, then probably nothing that I am doing matters.
Love as a verb. I think a lot of times concepts like “love” and
“peace” are thought of as woo-woo and are thrown around lightly,
but I’m talking about *LOVE*, like, with teeth.
Queer as a verb. Making the familiar strange, staying open to
surprise, actively engaging with alternatives to what is normative
and inviting others to do the same.
Also, recently, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the
longterm intentional community I am building (in conversation with
other like-minded humans). I want to be totally unafraid to live in
the way that I think is right.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
There is no typical Friday night!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Seriously, ask me anything you’d like to know.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you lead with open-heartedness and compassion and curiosity, in
life in general and in the OKCupid-sphere
...you are a super smart and sexy human who makes a point to
subvert hegemonic/heteronormative practices in and out of the
bedroom. (If you are 100% straight and have no idea what I'm
talking about, we probably won't get along, at least not in a
...you are interesting and interested and take excellent care of
...you want discuss life, the universe, and everything, while
intermittently making out
Who are you looking for?
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