As for my profile, I'm going to attempt to take the opposite approach and try to prove to you that I am a normal human being, despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary.
I have a job. And I'm having fun with it! If you work in the Loop, I'm sure you have met your fair share of people who work in finance. Yes we're all trying to buy when the market is low and sell when the market is high. And some have brilliant strategies while others lick their index finger and hold it in the air to find which way the wind is blowing. As far as lifestyle, I don't ascribe to the whole "models and bottles" mentality as many from the douchebag clan do. I do my research, help my firm make money, and have a pretty low-key social life with a few close friends of mine. If this description of me titillates you, I have more.
I work out. At a gym. I lift weights up and put them down multiple times. But to me, it's more than just fighting gravity with some free weights. I enjoy putting workouts together and monitoring my progress. I take notes on things that work. I read about different training techniques and nutrition research. So you'd probably guess that I usually watch what I eat (only because I can't get away with eating a one-pound burger from Fuddruckers anymore). But I'm not talking about eating salads with a few drops of dressing; I try to eat whatever is killed or grows directly from the ground. I actually don't remember the last time I ate a cookie (unless you count Tim Tams as cookies, then that statement is a complete lie. I remember that Tim Tam like it was in my hands yesterday. Keep in mind, I wouldn't usually eat such a small edible object with two hands. But this biscuit was so glorious and delicious, I wouldn't dare risk dropping it.).
But wait! There's more.
I read! I like the fact that I'm literate. And if I'm so inspired and have time, I'll write something. Sometimes I have the ability to put words together to convey my thoughts in a logical way. And other times, I end up writing a dating profile that sounds like garbage. But bear with me: it's almost over.
I'll conclude by saying the most cheesy thing anyone could ever say about themselves: I like everything I'm doing in life right now. And I'd like to meet someone who is just as comfortable with themselves as I am with myself. If you're not passionate about anything or lack the drive to pursue certain objectives, I don't think we'd be a good fit.
TL;DR: I'm a functioning human being.
Enjoy the rest of the profile.