Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello ladies! I am a 42 year old sex machine. This machine does
need a little oil though (if you know what I mean). I drive a hot
little gas saver, an 76 Gremlin. I may need you to hold the radio
when we go out. I have 6 cats that I love dearly. They all stay in
my room with me. Hard thing about cats is keeping their crap picked
up. I gave up on the litter box, so I am picking up little turds
off the floor all the time. Don't worry, I will try to get them
picked up before you come to my "love nest". I have no kids (that
I'm aware of). I wouldn't have a problem if you have kids as long
as they stay somewhere else. State of Mississippi says I can't be
around kids. It was a little misunderstanding that happened with my
neighbor's twelve year old daughter. I love twelve year olds. I am
currently between jobs, but I do look in the paper. Hard to find a
good job that fits my schedule. Oh yeah, don't plan any lunch dates
cause I usually sleep till about two.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Not much right now. I play Call of Duty (Call of Doody) alot. I am
pretty good at video games. I take care of my cats. I surf the
internet. In the summer I have an inflatable pool that I like to
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Video games and sex. I have always wanted to have sex while playing
a video game. That would be awesome. Maybe me and you could make my
fantasy a reality. You could pick the game. I am good at most of
them. Just don't pick Kingdom Hearts. That game was stupid.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my good looks or my great body. I have a real man's body.
Or maybe my car, but that is just cause it needs to be painted.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Not big on reading. I do have a very large collection of "art"
magazines. I am more into pictures of models than words. I like the
movie Joe Dirt, Deliverance, and anything with Megan Fox in it. I
like Ax Men, Duck Dynasty, and cartoons. My favorite music is ACDC
and Lynyrd Skynyrd. I will eat anything that You cook. I don't cook
except for microwaving hot dogs. I eat alot of cereal. The cats
usually like to finish the milk and what they don't finish I will.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Momma (you will have to meet her before we do the deed unless we do
it at your place. I can bring my video game system if you don't
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either playing video games or watching one of my private movies.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I live in my mom's old room. She has to stay in the living room
now. She has to stay in the bed, but she sleeps alot and probably
would not hear your screams of ecstasy. If you would be too
embarrassed to face her, you can go out the window. But you would
definitely have to leave after. I have a single size bed and I will
be going to sleep not long after.
I’m looking for
- Girls who like guys
- Ages 37–43
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should not answer me. I hope you know this is a joke. I have
met a nice woman and we are dating. I just thought it would be
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