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notyourbigpapa

45 Portland, OR Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 29–49
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:38pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Technology
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English, Spanish (Poorly), Chinese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi ...... I'm Russell.

So I consider myself intelligent and witty, but not pedantic. In fact, I think the use of the word "pedantic" is itself...pedantic. I just thought I would point that out.

Ummmmm?..... Oh yeah, also ....

I'd like to think of myself as kind of a Jack Donaghy meets Hunter S Thompson, but I might be a bit more of a Michael Bluth meets Kenny Powers. .... but either way, with a dash of Bill Murray.

A friend told me once that I was good at having a life with some edge and vice, gracefully balanced with integrity and responsibility. ... errrr ... I think they were super high at the time, so what ev's.

I'm not nearly as menacing as first impressions might imply. ... I kinda have the male version of "Resting Bitch Face"... but I'm totally a sappy dorky teddy bear. Big heart'ed and affectionate. One just has to take those one or two unassuming baby steps closer to find out.

Due to my work and social circles I mingle with all sorts of nerds, vixens, punks, fashionistas, creatives, hobos, wonks, rockers, hicks, crafters, hipsters, politicos, journeymen, cowboys, jokers, suits, dorks, emos, salty dogs, and academics. I think this throws people off at times, because I don't quite fit into any of the peg holes of the Portland Egosystem. I can be functionally sardonic in almost any social situation. ... Umm, and I mean that in a good way. .... I have a huge soft spot for freaks, geeks, and misfits.

Finally, I will add this .... Portland being Portland .... I feel compelled to come clean about a few things .... First off, I do have a job ... ok, that's not really true ... I actually own a couple of businesses. ... I'm afraid it gets worse. ... I also don't live with my parents ... I own my own home ... actually ... Also I'm taller than 5'7", and I am not in a band. ... I know ... Lame! But if I was in a band you wouldn't have to drive me to practice, because I own a car ... and a truck. ... I know, double lame! ... I also don't have any substance abuse problems ... unless you count pizza or gluten. And now for the really awkward part ... I am ... like ... totally single ... and emotionally available. I know ... I know ... none of these things are gonna help me win Portland's Most Cliché Bachelor Of The Year ... but I thought ... maybe ... just maybe .... there's that one freak out there that can see fit to find something endearing in a misfit like me. And yes, when I say "one" I am implying that I am into the alternative lifestyle called Monogamy.... I know, Gross!! ... that's probably the biggest deal breaker, right? .... that's ok ... I understand Portland women have their standards. *snicker*

... Oh, and if you haven't figured it out yet ... I can be a wee bit sarcastic in addition to being sardonic.

Ok ok .... Forget the rest of the verbose nonsense below .... I've got good whiskey and bad wine in the kitchen at home, and a hot tub out back .... Your move!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Grrrrr, I hate using "Executive / Management" as my job, ....it's, like, so totally not punkrock or mëtal. Anyway, I'm an owner of a couple techie and/or creative businesses, and enjoying a life of sophisticated aesthetic leisure... Gawd, that sounds pretentious! .... I mean I have a very flexible schedule that allows for spontaneous adventure ... and a wee bit of day drinking ....

I'm a life-long Northwestern'er. I grew up in my very small Twin Peaks-like hometown, about an hour outside Portland. I went to the UW in Seattle where I earned degrees in Physics & Art. I've lived in NE PDX part-time/full-time for over 15 years. Currently residing in the Alameda/Alberta area, living the Portland Mid-Century fixer-upper dream.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
....being organized, being on time, being dependable, being dedicated, being patient, being helpful, and being self deprecating. Oh, and I'm also really good at trivia, foot massages, and cat juggling.

Beyond maybe being "good at", I also "love" singing Meatloaf at Karaoke, kicking ass at Pub Trivia, indie music festivals, awesome movies at the Hollywood Theater, the Opera, exploring museums, smarty pants lectures, geeky volunteering, art events, road trips, hiking secret beaches you can't drive to, picnics in inappropriate places, air mattress star gazing/snuggling, cycling or motorcycling a far flung road or trail, snowboarding a blustery mountain, or floating a quiet river.

I love to travel, and I have the time and means to do so, and I'm really good at the logistics of travel, but I hate traveling alone and I'm lousy at the "what to see and do" kinda stuff ...That's where you come in! Where should we go?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm tall, snugly, and not burdened with large amounts of hair.

And while we're on the subject of hair, it seems that a lot of you Ladies have some very strong opinions with regard to facial hair.

Well ... don't try to change me, Baby!! .... the good news is that I'm very flexible .... kind of depends on the season or mood for me .... so I am willing to accommodate certain fetishes or phobias in that department
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books? ... *eye roll* ... I have them ... and read them .... *whisper* .. Nerd! .... You, not me!! .... Ummm ... Ok, me too.

I also have a fetish for collecting Magazines ..... not to be confused with collecting magazines about fetishes. My friends think I have a hoarding problem with the magazines ....but the only problem I have is when my friends come over to my house and mess up the order of my magazines for chuckles. ....ummmm..... my friends are DICKS!..... Uh ...please don't touch or talk about my magazines.

Movies? .... All over the map, from high brow auteur, to grindhouse schlock. Some of my favorite movies in the last couple years were Hesher, Drive, The Tree of Life, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Her, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Under The Skin, The Zero Theorem, Interstellar, and Force Majeure. I think Showgirls, Smokey and the Bandit, and the 80's version of Flash Gordon are the most brilliant movies ever made! .... I am not ashamed to admit this .... I AM NOT CRAZY!!..... I ....AM ..... ENLIGHTENED! ....ummm......Discuss?

TV? ....*smug pretentious tone* Ummm ... I don't own a TV ...
*snicker* .... I'm just mess'n with yah! .... I heat my house with TVs! ..... My new favorites are Sundance Channel's Top of the Lake and Rectify, Netflix's Lilyhammer and Peaky Blinders, and True Detective. Other current and old favs are The Wire, Deadwood, The Killing, Mad Men, Vice TV, Drunk History, Treme, Luck(both canceled??! Boo!! Fuck you, HBO!!), Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Twin Peaks, Shameless, Hell on Wheels, Big Love, Lost, BSG(new and classic), Fringe, X-Files, Freaks and Geeks, It's Always Sunny, Wilfred, Louie, Archer, Metalocalypse, Childrens Hospital, East Bound and Down, ALF, Behind the Music, Metal Evolution, Real Time with Bill Maher, Daily Show, Corbert, Top Gear, any Science Education shows, Sunday Morning Political wonk shows, and anything that involves Alaska or extreme truck driving. ..... DON'T JUDGE ME, HIPPIE!!

Music? ... old Grunge, old Punk, old garage rock, outlaw country, cheesy eighties metal....Hey Man, there's NOTHING gay about Judas Priest!! ..*snicker* ....errrrrr ...also lots of current Indie crap that the hip kids are into, and Opera. The last few shows I've been to were Man or Astroman?, Guitar Wolf, Jason Lytle, Portland Opera's Die Fledermaus(Season ticket holder), Punkrock Bowling and Music Festival in Vegas, Sub Pop's 25th Year Jubilee, The Postal Service, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the FYF Music Fest in LA, Dead Moon, Meatloaf's Rocktales & Cocktails in Vegas (OMG!!), The Pixies, and Guided By Voices.

Artists? ... Jeff Koones, Paul Caponigro, Andy Goldsworthy, Vito Acconci, Miguel Calderon, Chuck Close, Damien Hirst, Survival Research Laboratories, and others.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my spectacles, my integrity, my awesome friends (they're not always dicks), music, a tape measure, and a sturdy vintage blazer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
..... how Portland used to be .... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm5y-ldn3xE

.... if Portlandia starred Janet Weiss and Vincent Gallo would it be more caustic, darker, meaner, and thus, more accurate?

.... do nerds in tight jeans dream of electric motorcycles?

..... sure, the Oxford Comma .... but what about the Vermont Vo-Tech Shwa?

....Astronomy, Cosmology, Physics, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Economics, Technology, Design, Art, Photography, and Film. ....and the fusion of Science and Art, i.e. "The Third Culture"

.... replacing an Airstream Trailer down by the river with a hip tiny cabin down by the river. I need help with this!

..... learning to sail.

..... where is the best Thai Steak Salad in town?

.... cashing out and opening a Moose Burger cart in Alaska
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
... in my hot tub with a couple friends ... recording a comedy Podcast about being single in Portland ....

ok ... that's only happened twice
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have been accused of being a member of the Mormon Mafia ...... but.... there is no such thing ... *wink*

...... I am referred to by some as "The Official"

...... and my Cat is kind of a creep!! ... *whisper* ... and he has been sitting here, silently judging me the whole time I have been writing this .... !!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
.... you have a thing for cool dapper nerds ... ummmm .... but without being weird or creepy about it! ... http://philosophy.sexy

.... you want to meet a younger, more urbane version of this guy .... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDQQfBrSUs0

... also if you are smart, but not peda ...... uh ... well.... you know what I mean, Little Miss Smartypants! .... oh, also awesome-ish, nerd-ish, dork-ish, creative, crafty(literally AND figuratively), affectionate, erudite, stylish(in your own way), serene, engaging, together, graceful(on the inside if not on the outside). You are more Muse than Fury, .... more "kick ass" than "punch in the gut". You want to teach me, and introduce me to fun, rad, dorky and amazing things. You can tolerate, if not embrace, my quixotic geekery.

... You are single and are looking for something real and healthy, and have the Kung Fu skills to engage in such.

... or some passive aggressive "hang'n out" is fine too ... what ever wanks your crank