"Don't care about the warning signs ..... Don't care about friends of mine ......Don't care about what could should be
......I just want you .... to want me .... right now" - Les Savy Fav

Hi. I'm Russell.

I am rife with many delicious ironies. For instance....

I'm intelligent and witty, but not pedantic. In fact, I think the use of the word "pedantic" is itself...pedantic. I just thought I would point that out.

Ummmmm..... Oh yeah, also ....

I bake homemade pies, but I can also build a road with a bulldozer. (Why is that ironic? Just bear with me, please!)

I swing between being an extroverted introvert and an introverted extrovert.

I am irreverent, yet nostalgic.

I think I'm "Left Brained" and "Right Brained", hopefully without the two canceling each other out.

I'd like to think of myself as kind of a Jack Donaghy meets Hunter S Thompson, but I might be a bit more of a Michael Bluth meets Kenny Powers.

I can do "smart classy fancy" and "ironic tacky low brow", unironically, all in the same night. .... uh.....THINK about it you silly Philistine, .....and pass me the Old Crow!

I'm good at having a life with some edge and vice, gracefully balanced with integrity and responsibility. ... ... errrr .... or so a friend told me once ... I think they were super high at the time.

I am so full of love'n .... that if you get too close .... you're gonna git some on yah!

Ummm ....I'll make you laugh, even when you know you shouldn't.

I'm not nearly as menacing as first impressions might imply. I'm actually a sappy dorky teddy bear. Big heart'ed, romantic, and affectionate. One just has to take those one or two baby steps closer to find out. I am, I guess, very much a Pisces that way.

Due to my work and social circles I mingle with all sorts of nerds, vixens, punks, fashionistas, creatives, hobos, wonks, rockers, hicks, crafters, hipsters, politicos, journeymen, cowboys, jokers, suits, dorks, emos, salty dogs, and academics. I think this throws people off at times, because I don't quite fit into any of the peg holes of the Portland Egosystem. I have a huge soft spot for freaks, geeks, and misfits.

Oh, and I suppose I should disclose that I have this really rare fetish. ....or at least sometimes it feels that way here in Portland. And that fetish is that I'm looking for a real relationship that is healthy, committed, and maybe even romantic. ....*gasp*.....I know, right?!.... FREAKY!! ....Wew! So glad I got that off my chest. I know the whole romance and monogamy thing is really square and totally not what the "cool kids" are into, but I guess that's just my way of being a non-conformist in Portland ..... along with being a together adult male that has a job and a car. ..... Oh Snap!

Living the Portlandia lifestyle .... putting birds on things ... and then selling them to buy "conflict free" heroin and "local artisan" meth ...umm .... and stuff

I'm a life-long Northwestern'er. I grew up in my very small Twin Peaks-like hometown, about an hour outside Portland. I have lived in NE PDX part-time/full-time for over 15 years. Recently transitioned from the Alberta/Humboldt area to Alberta/Alameda, living the Portland Mid-Century fixer-upper dream.

I've also lived in Seattle for 7 years, where I went to college at the UW and earned degrees in Physics and Art. A few years ago I earned an MBA. ...*snore* .... Oh yeah ....I've also spent a year of my life in the "wilds" of Alaska.

Grrrrr, I hate using "Executive / Management" as my job, ....it's, like, so totally not punkrock or mëtal. Anyway, I'm an owner of a couple techie and/or creative businesses, and enjoying a life of sophisticated aesthetic leisure .... of sorts.

....being organized, being on time, being dependable, being dedicated, being patient, being helpful, and being self deprecating. Oh, and I'm also really good at trivia, foot massages, and cat juggling.

Beyond maybe being "good at", I also "love" singing Meatloaf at Karaoke, kicking ass at Pub Trivia, indie music festivals, Hong Kong and Grindhouse movies at the Hollywood Theater, the Opera, exploring museums, smarty pants lectures, geeky volunteering, art events, road trips, hiking secret beaches you can't drive to, picnics in inappropriate places, air mattress star gazing, cycling or motorcycling a lonely country road, snowboarding a blustery mountain, or floating a quiet river.

I love to travel, and I have lots of adventures all mapped out, but I hate traveling alone. I'm in search of an adventurous travel partner who's good at figuring out the "what to see & do" stuff, and I'll tackle logistics. .... Wanna road trip up to Alaska? ...Cool! By ferry, bicycle, motorcycle, Benzo, or monster truck?...... We're going to a Scandinavian Black Mëtal Festival? ....Dreamy!! ... We're pitching a tent in your friends' back yard in Austin, for SXSW? ..... Aces!! ...Let's go!

That I'm tall, snugly, and not burdened with large amounts of hair.

And since we're on the subject of hair, it seems that a good number of you ladies have some very extreme opinions when it comes to facial hair.

Well, don't try to change me, Baby!.....the good news is that I'm very flexible. Kind of depends on the season or mood for me, but I'm willing to consider accommodating certain fetishes or phobias.

Books: All over the map, fiction, non-fiction, history, science, philosophy, biographies of Scientists, and etc. Favorite Authors: Cormac McCarthy, William Kittredge, Jon Krakauer, Christopher Hitchens, Shakespeare, Jared Diamond, Carl Sagan, Richard Rhodes, George Orwell, Bertrand Russell, Yukio Mishima, J.G. Ballard, Greil Marcus, Hunter S Thompson, Irving Welsh, Douglas Coupland, Matt Taibbi, James Gleick, David Foster Wallace, Neal Stephenson, Thomas Pynchon, Don DeLillo, Tom Wolfe, Bill Vollmann, Camile Paglia... and others

I also have a fetish for collecting Magazines ..... not to be confused with collecting magazines about fetishes. I have several subscriptions on various subjects, e.g. Vice, Flaunt, Art Review, Vanity Fair, Wired, Seed, Monocle, Paste, SPIN, Ready Made, Fine Home Building, Dwell, Atomic Ranch, Make, and others. Many of which I read cover to cover whilst riding my ass off on the exerbike. My friends think I have a hoarding problem with the magazines ....but the only problem I have is when my friends come over to my house and mess up the order of my magazines for chuckles. ....ummmm..... my friends are DICKS!..... Uh ...please don't touch or talk about my magazines.

Movies: Again, all over the map. From high brow aurteur, to grindhouse schlock. Gummo and The Brown Bunny Anything by a Coppola, Wes Anderson, David Cronenberg, Terry Gilliam, Michael Mann, David Mammet, Terrence Mallick, Stanley Kubrick, Pedro Almodóvar, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Michel Gondry, David Lynch, John Carpenter, Richard Kelly, Duncan Jones, Nicolas Winding Refn, Andrew Dominik, Darren Aronofsky, P.T. Anderson, John Hillcoat, Danny Boyle, Coen Brothers, Robert Altman, John Sayles, Quentin Tarantino, Russ Meyer, Werner Herzog, and Errol Morris. Documentaries: Heavy Metal Parking Lot, When The Light Takes Us, Heavy Metal Bagdad, and The Decline of Western Civilization. I'm a total geek movie nerd-bot, and I'll watch anything, good or bad. Some of my favorite movies in the last year were Hesher, Drive, The Tree of Life, Melancholia, and Beasts of the Southern Wild. I think Showgirls and Smokey and the Bandit are two of the most brilliant movies ever made! I am not ashamed to admit this .... I AM NOT CRAZY!!..... I ....AM ..... ENLIGHTENED! ....ummm......Discuss?

TV: ....*smug pretentious tone* Ummm ... I don't own a TV ...
*snicker* .... I'm just mess'n with yah! .... I frick'n heat my house with TVs! My new favorites are Sundance Channel's Top of the Lake and Rectify. Other current and old favs are Twin Peaks, The Wire, Deadwood, The Killing, Mad Men, Vice TV, Treme, Luck(Canceled??! Boo!! Fuck you, HBO!!), Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Shameless, Hell on Wheels, Big Love, True Blood, Dexter, Walking Dead, Weeds, Bored to Death, Lost, BSG(new and classic), Fringe, X-Files, Freaks and Geeks, It's Always Sunny, 30 Rock, Wilfred, Louie, Archer, South Park, Metalocalypse, Childrens Hospital, East Bound and Down, ALF, Behind the Music, Metal Evolution, Real Time with Bill Maher, Daily Show, Corbert, Top Gear, Science Education shows, Sunday Morning Political wonk shows, BBC shows and pretty much any blue collar reality show. I'm super gay for any thing involving Alaska or extreme truck driving.

Music: old Grunge, old Punk, old garage rock, outlaw country, cheesy eighties metal....Hey Man, there's NOTHING gay about Judas Priest!! Hehe. ....errrrrr ...also lots of current Indie crap that the hip kids are into, and Opera. A quick list of my favs; The Accüsed, Andrew W.K., Arcade Fire, Built to Spill, Bad Brains, Black Flag, Big Black, Beach House, Bon Ivor, Butthole Surfers, The Cure, Deadbolt, Death, Death Cab, Dead Kennedys, Earth, Elliot Smith, Fugazi, Hawkwind, The Hives, Grandaddy, Jon Spencer (all projects), Guitar Wolf, Guided by Voices, Killdozer, Les Savy Fav, The Long Winters, Magnetic Fields, Meafloaf, The Melvins(& Big Business), M.I.A.(both the beautiful rapper and the old punk band), Minor Threat, Monotonix, Mötorhead, Mudhoney, Neko Case, Nuggets Boxsets, Pixies, The Kinks, The Replacements, Rush (unironically!!), Slayer, Sonic Youth, We Are Scientists, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Stooges, MC5, Television, TAD, Thrones, N.W.A., Public Enemy, and on and on. Lately I've been listening to cartoon death metal. ....Dëthklok is brütal, Yo!! The last few shows I've been to were Man or Astroman?, Guitar Wolf, Punkrock Bowling and Music Festival in Vegas, The Butthole Surfers, and Andrew WK, Jason Lytle, Portland Opera's Falstaff, Mudhoney, and The Detroit Cobras.

Artists: Jeff Koones, Paul Caponigro, Andy Goldsworthy, Vito Acconci, Miguel Calderon, Chuck Close, Damien Hirst, Survival Research Laboratories, and others.

Food: About a year ago, I learned that I was a member of the tribe of the glutarded, but it's not severe, so I can still have some pizza every once in a while. Beyond that, I'm open to pretty much anything, fancy foodie or street/cart. Favs include Pok Pok, Beast, Bunk, Biwa, Podnah's, Cruz Room, Queen of Sheba, Tasty & Sons, Laurelhurst Market, and any number of carts. I seriously can't keep up with the food in this town ... where should we go??

my spectacles, my integrity, my awesome friends (they're not always dicks), music, a tape measure, and a sturdy vintage blazer

..... how Portland used to be .... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Nfe3utHrs

.... if Portlandia starred Janet Weiss and Vincent Gallo would it be more caustic, darker, meaner, and thus, more accurate?

.... checking out OkC Tumblr sites and sarcastically thinking ".... clearly, I'm doing it wrong."

.... do nerds in tight jeans dream of electric motorcycles?

..... what if Love is not enough?

....Astronomy, Cosmology, Physics, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Economics, Technology, Design, Art, Photography, and Film. ....and the fusion of Science and Art, i.e. "The Third Culture"

.... science education .... epistemology in general

..... Contemporary Opera vs. Classical Opera??

.... replacing an Airstream Trailer down by the river with a hip Cabin down by the river.

....... pimped out vintage Mercedes, hunting for vintage clothes and watches on eBay, and learning to sail.

.... Mid Century decor and accoutremá (it is TOO a word!!!)

..... where is the best Thai Steak Salad in town?

.... cashing out, and opening a Moose Burger stand in Alaska

...just trying to fit in!!....up for almost anything. some of my favorite spots in town are the Moon & Sixpence, rontoms, The Speakeasy, The Aalto, Bye & Bye, The Alley Way, Vendetta, Secret Society, Moloko, Holman's, The Florida Room, and the Windows Lounge at the Convention Center Red Lion. And anywhere else there's cool food, art, music, karaoke, or a Pub/Bar Trivia match going on. I love to make know-it-all hipsters cry in their PBR's!

Or snuggled up on the sofa at home with some Scotch and ice cream organic tea and gluten-free carob cookies and snickering wryly while watching Boogie Nights sitting in front of the fire, talking about Philosophy ....ummm ....and stuff .. is nice too.

Very odd question. I don't have any dark secrets. I'm open to anyone asking me anything. So go ahead, ask me anything. I dare you! You can't get to know someone by making foolish silly assumptions about them, right?

Ummmm .... I use an R. Kelly song as my ring tone ....

.... you want to meet a younger, more urbane version of this guy .... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDQQfBrSUs0

... also if you are smart, but not peda ...... uh ... well.... you know what I mean, Little Miss Smartypants! ...... ummm .... oh, also snarky, hipst-nerd-ish, closeted mondo-ultra-mega-dork, vixenlyish, creative, crafty(literally AND figuratively), affectionate, erudite, stylish(in your own way), serene, engaging, together, graceful(on the inside if not on the outside). You are more Muse than Fury, .... more "kick ass" than "punch in the gut". You want to teach me, and introduce me to fun, rad, dorky and amazing things. You can tolerate, if not embrace, my cool quixotic geekery. .... You have what it takes to step up and engage.

Deal Breakers: No dirty hippies, Moonies, carnival chicks, or Juggalettes! ..... or if your name ends in a vowel ... especially if it ends with a "y".....errrr..... I AM NOT CRAZY!!

Ok, so this is the section where you ladies usually list your "Deal Breakers" .... which, by the way, can sometimes be totally hilarious and eye rolling ...... anyway, rather than revealing any nutty superficiality on my part by listing my own deal breakers, of which there are many, I assure you, I'm going to respond to some of your more common and very reasonable DB's with a list of what I like to call "Deal Makers"(<- see what I just did there?)

"no homophobes!!"
RESPONSE:No Problemo! I have a fairly good gaggle(gayggle?) of gay friends, and they're pretty rad and fierce. Probably more than your gay friends. .... Oh Snap!

"no creepy shirtless bathroom mirror cellphone pics!!"
RESPONSE: Ummmm..... Check! And Ditto!! Oh man .... don't get me started .... Just because you're a woman and wearing a top doesn't mean it can't be creepy or tacky ..... seriously .... check yo'self, before you click yo'self!

"no conservative Republican religious freaks!!"
RESPONSE: Righty-O! I am very much of a Progressive-Democrat-Agnostic-bent. I can be pretty open minded of the political and spiritual beliefs of the women I date, as long as they're smart and self conceived. Just keep in mind I would probably be just as disturbed if you made major life choices based on your horoscope or the Old Testament. .... The More You Know!

"no drunks or junkies!!"
RESPONSE: Double Ditto!! I do love to have the drinks, but I am always responsible and drama-free. And I never do hard drugs. I would ask that you be the same. I will admit that I also find it tedious to deal with those stricken with addictions to drama, mind games, narcissism, and/or validation. Afflictions all too common in Portland it seems. .....All things in moderation my precious Darlings. .....*whisper* Totally cool with "Friends of Mary Jane" as long as you're not an annoying Flaky McFlakerson with it. .. *cough* ... You know?

"please have a job!!"
RESPONSE: No problemo! I got the skillz to the pay the billz. Though I can play the slacker dirtbag hipster with the best of them in this town, if that's your type. But no worries, I am not one of those destitute loser Portland dudes looking for a sweet sugar mama. I am all smooch and no mooch, Yo!

"please have a car!!"
RESPONSE: I do own a car. It screams ... well .... cranks ... Old World sophistication, ....ummm .... in a "bought off of eBay from a Tijuana Chop Shop" kind of way. So I will never ask you to drive me to band practice ... mainly because I am not in a band. Totally cool if you are though. ... or not. I also have a truck and a couple of rad motorcycles and bicycles. ... *shrug* ... It IS Portland, after all.

"no married dudes or cheaters!!"
RESPONSE: I am not married nor have I ever been. I am single and I am very wired and eager for commitment and monogamy. Just seems like the most easy and natural thing for me. Yet, Portland being Portland, I will say that I would be willing to consider an open relationship, if pressed by an amazing woman who insisted it would be the only kind of relationship possible with her. I have waded in those waters a bit, and I am not a carrier of the jealousy gene. I am a bit more skeptical of the "Poly lifestyle" which I see as different from "Open", but I'm willing to discuss it. This is an area that is ripe for misunderstandings and bad assumptions, so please feel free to inquire if you'd like some clarification.

"no liars!!"
RESPONSE: I am a very open and honest person ... sometimes awkwardly so, if that's not apparent yet. It's all part of being a mondo nerd ... I mean what I say, and I say what I mean. Please be open and honest yourself, and also be able to recognize and value a man who is honest with you. ... errrr ......or at least be good at faking it.

"no aloof or flaky types!!"
RESPONSE: MEGA-ULTRA-DITTO!! Oh man ....seriously! From my experience trying to engage with women in Portland, that's kinda like the black skinny jeans calling the black hoodie .... uh ... black .... and stuff ....*smug self-satisfied chuckle*..... Zing!

"no passive aggressive types!!"
RESPONSE: Ok, now help me out here. Do you mean like how many of you ladies, on a dating site, say you're "looking for straight men only", who are "single", but only for "friends"? .... you mean that kind of passive aggressive? ....*wry smirk* .... sooooo busted!

Wow .... You actually made it to the end? .... So what do you think? .....It was totally great for me ..... No ....really. Like .... maybe we should have coffee and pie sometime?