p.s. No cats!
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30 • Tallahassee, FL • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 19–36
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends
- Last online
- Today – 7:31pm
- 6′ 2″ (1.88m)
- Body Type
- Strictly anything
- Very often
- Other, and laughing about it
- Libra, and it’s fun to think about
- Strictly non-monogamous
- Doesn’t want kids
- Dislikes cats
- English (Poorly)
p.s. No cats!
I drop stars like five dolla billz.
They help me hide the fact that I'm always lying. To women.
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell the Movie
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell the Musical
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell the Interpretive Dance
Tony's Lay Guide
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Kenneth Clark's Civilization: A Personal View
3OH!3, LMFAO, Metallica (only their new stuff), Hollywood Undead, Forever and Always, Forever the Sickest Kids, Forever Genital Warts, Shinedown, Five Finger Death Punch, Brokencyde, The Decembrists. I used to like Nickelback until I found out they're Canadian.
I only eat authentic Italian food, ok babe? Macaroni, spaghetti, capellini, vermicelli, bucatini, rigatoni, alfredo, macaroni, soba, udon--you know, only the best Italian. When I was growing up my Ma would make us soup and salad every day from 11am to 4pm.
I'd say, "Hey Ma, I'd like the Zuppa Tuscana with the bottomless salad and a coke."
And my Ma would say, "OK, soooooouuuunds good! And would you like our free complimentary bread sticks with that?"
And I would say, "Fuck yeah I want some fucking bread sticks, bitch! Thank you."
Notice I said THANK YOU. Italians say thank you because we believe in RESPECT. Did I mention I'm Italian? I'm Italian. I'll be reminding you of this often on our date (before, during, and after the bedroom). It's important for me to keep this proud heritage alive by telling you about how we do things in Jersey. Which I plan on visiting eventually.
2. My dog tags. I got them while I was defending FREEDOM in THE ARMY. I'M A VETERAN. I always wear them outside my shirt so that bitches know I WAS IN IRAQ defending YOUR VAGINA. Also they serve a useful dual purpose when I forget my own name, social security number, blood type, and/or religious preference.
3. My "Haters Gonna Hate" bluejay tattoo. I got this tattoo after some coward heckled my slap-bass solo during open mic night at Sheesha Nights. It depicts a bluejay wearing a feathered pimp hat as he struts his stuff in a conceited manner. Written below the bluejay are the words "Haters Gonna Hate," to remind me that haters will in fact always hate.
I can't count past three.
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