Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am approximately 17.8 gigaangstroms tall. That's as many as 1.7
And that's terrible.
The attentive reader may notice a number of inconsistencies in this
profile. "Minivans are not an infectious disease and cannot be
considered a plague", say the biologists. "If you graduated space
camp, why are you not currently a or in space" ask the uneducated,
"or even a manifold?" continue the mathematicians but not those
familiar with the operation of variable-pitch propeller and/or
turbine aircraft. "Tell us, nulpointer - IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME
- lest we never trust again!" they all inexplicably conclude
despite for example the biologists never having actually asked a
Well. I am not a trained negotiator but I do know not to
give things away for free. Offer me a copy of your world map and
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Not spending nearly enough time looking at Saturn, gradually
accruing experience with equatorial mount telescopes.
exploring abandoned buildings, biking, reading, thinkin' bout
stuff. All of these things have gotten me in trouble of various
sorts, and I'd gladly get in all of those troubles again, unless of
course you are a law enforcement officer.
trying to stop extruding hair. It's really hard.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing piano. I have way more thoughts on the matter than anyone
cares to hear, so tread carefully if you ask for more
I'm pretty okay
at taking pictures, but not of me, and
probably not of you. You may coldly judge them (but not me (and not
you)) at flickr,
or by determining my true name and using it to
compel me to add you to google+.
Throwing parties. I'm also pretty okay at mixing drinks.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
if they are particularly observant, that my heart pumps not blood
but a vile ichor rendered down from the tears of innocents.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't think I want to get to know you better if what food I
prefer is a major deciding factor in whether or not you think we'll
But okay, I will play your game, you charmer you ;-*. I like
hardcover movies, high-contrast books, musicians starting with R
like Rachmaninoff and Royksopp (with honorary outlier pink floyd),
and meat ... but of all of these, only rachmaninoff is
involuntarily-toe-curlingly hackles-raised good.
Getting back to food, I am not yet capable of standing around a
field idle save for chewing for more than a few seconds, but I am
confident that I am no more than ten cows away from gaining their
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Oxygen! Ah ha ha! Ha ha! Ha! HA HA HA HA
more seriously, suits. So far I have five. One doesn't count, one
counts twice, and one pocket square stands in for a suit because it
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Where you've been all my life, or more accurately where you
Apart from that, man, all kinds of stuff. aerodynamics,
cryptography, some other field whose first letter is from way later
in the alphabet, chances are good that if you're knowledgeable
about something I very much want to talk to you about it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
This is irrelevant as if pressed I will make up something more
exciting than what I know or imagine you to be doing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Eating peanut butter is difficult when it is sand. I think many
sports can be improved by the introduction of shotguns. I once
stole a ramp from a group of half-blind cold-hearted killers who
live in a secret cave, killing several, in the process of fighting
the minivan plague. Some time ago I broke my collarbone. How I
managed it is available on home video! My fondest ambition is to
improve ceaselessly until the eschaton is immanentized.
EDIT: no longer half machine. :(
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
(((you know my insep date or you know that it's really "incept
date" which someone screwed up in the vfx for the movie)
or you don't want to tell me about your cat) and you can make me
laugh) or (this construct made sense to you)
Who are you looking for?
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