Why the hell is it so hard to find a nice girl nowadays? Did they go extinct? Prove to me that nice girls aren't a dying breed.
I've been artistic all my life: I love acting, singing, and entertaining in general. Hell, I even co-hosted a public access show for a year. Sure, it wasn't that good (in fact, it was horseshit), but hey, it was experience, right?
I'm witty, intelligent, caring, honest, open-minded, and I have a GREAT sense of humor. I love movies, music (especially classic rock), creative writing, skateboarding, socializing, and partying. I love the Minnesota Wild, but as far as football goes, I'm a Chicago Bears follower. And YES, I am, by definition, a nerd: I love comic books, Spider-Man, Star Wars, and Monty Python. I do jigsaw puzzles to de-stress. I love animals, especially dogs. Tattoos are sexy.
Bruce Campbell is THE greatest B-Movie actor of all time. Screw that, he's the greatest actor PERIOD.
I'm a huge acolyte of comedy. Amongst my favorites are Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Don Rickles, Frank Caliendo, Demeitri Martin, Jeff Dunham, Chris Rock, Lewis Black, and the late greats like Johnny Carson, The Three Stooges, and the greatest of them all, George Carlin (who happens to be a personal hero of mine). I have a very broad sense of humor. I love comedy whether it's subtle, absurd, surreal, or good ol' fashioned slapstick. Some of my favorites include Realmofdarkness.net, Chuck Norris Facts, Monty Python, Failblog.org, and "The Office".
I'm not afraid to embrace my inner child. For example, I've recently rediscovered my giddy love for "Ren and Stimpy". Even though I'm in my twenties, I won't immediately become all hard-assed and "grown up". I'm still for experiencing the fun stuff in life, regardless of my age.
I have French-Canadian heritage, and I'm currently planning on visiting Montreal within the next year.
Although I'm as straight as can be, I'm a huge advocate for LGBT rights. I consider myself a straight ally, and am not afraid to engage in debate with those who are against gays and lesbians possessing the same rights as straights.
That said, I'm decidedly liberal.
I'm not afraid to speak my mind. You call it "less tactful", I call it being "lovingly blunt". I'm very opinionated, and I'm not afraid to question certain things, be it religion, politics, or good taste.
I hate reality television. HATE it. I still have no idea why people enjoy such mind-rotting, shallow, overhyped, idiotic, and obviously scripted drivel. It really did it for me when MTV ended up forsaking music videos (which the channel was MEANT to play in the first place), and replace it with countless stupid, interchangeable bullshit like "Pimp My Ride" or the lowest of the low, "My Super Sweet 16".
I'm not a big fan of religion, though I respect others' religious beliefs (just so long as they don't try to shove their views down other people's throats). That said, I'm extremely skeptical of metaphysical phenomena, creationism, the validity of exorcisms, holistic medicine, religious extremism of any sort, claims of psychic abilities, or God causing images of the Virgin Mary appearing in people's toast. If you believe in it, that's cool. But I don't.
That said, I love to party, and I love to just relax, especially in the summer, whether it's by my pool, or on my dad's boat. Wanna join me?

I'm in school for Liberal Arts. I'm working part-time at Office Depot as a retail monkey. Yes, it's degrading, thankless B.S., but someone's gotta do it, right?

I'm trying to go to the gym as much as possible, too. I've recently taken up skateboarding, and though I'm no Tony Hawk, I think I can get better. That is, once I'm able to balance myself and not look like a complete jackass.

I'm trying my best to balance school and work. Unfortunately, they aren't as cooperative.

School is currently being a major pain in my ass. I once again changed my major to Liberal Arts so I can get an A.A. degree, and THEN I'll finally transfer to a four-year to get my Bachelor's in... something, I haven't figured that part out yet.

I also recently started a blog (like pretty much everyone else on the planet. Curse my horrible timing!), so if you have a hankerin' for some randomness and sassafrass, go to donjuandanger.blogspot.com.

I'm a great singer (I was in choir from 1st to 11th grade). I'll kick your scrawny ass at karaoke. I love to draw, and I love creative writing. I have a knack for making people laugh. And I'm tall, so I can reach things that short people can't.

I can remember the most trivial crap on Earth.

I'm also a good listener, which is rare amongst dudes.

I'm very empathetic. I care about those around me with great interest, and I am generous to a fault.

And as for my useless talents, I can do one hell of a Gollum impersonation.

I'm also a massive movie nerd. My brain is filled to the brim with useless film knowledge. I also love watching the special features on DVD. Whenever there's a movie out that's had different DVD editions released, I always buy or rent the one with the most special features. It's just so amazing to watch how they bring movies to life, and I especially love watching any special feature regarding special effects. OK, my geek moment is over now.

My tall height, my knack for being awesome, my adorably goofy smile, my legendary goatee. Seriously though, I've been told it's my eyes.

Editors

• PennyAnne

Movies: Spider-Man 1 & 2; Star Wars; The Empire Strikes Back; Return of the Jedi (minus those goddamn Ewoks); Godfather; American History X; Tommy Boy; Dumb and Dumber; Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly; One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest; Evil Dead 1 & 2; Army of Darkness; Knocked Up; Superbad; Iron Man; Batman Begins; Pulp Fiction; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; Monty Python's Life of Brian; Across the Universe; The Full Monty; Jackass; Jackass Number Two; Finding Nemo; Little Miss Sunshine; Die Hard; Kill Bill; Animal House; The Blues Brothers; 3:10 to Yuma; Brokeback Mountain; Lord of the Rings; Orgazmo; Wall-E; The Dark Knight; The Meaning of Life; Raiders of the Lost Ark; The Aristocrats; King Kong; Hairspray (2007); Caddyshack; Christmas Vacation; Clerks; Dogma; Wayne's World; Terminator 2; South Park; Team America; Borat; Best in Show; This is Spinal Tap; Princess Bride; Young Frankenstein; Blazing Saddles; Spaceballs; Old School; Requiem for a Dream; The Incredibles; Ratatouille; Wrath of Khan; Dark City; The Crow; Reservoir Dogs; Sin City; El Mariachi; Desperado (because let's face it, Salma Hayek's naked in it. How can you top that?); Monster's Ball (Halle Berry's naked in it, but it's also a very good movie. See, I do focus on more than one thing!); Ace Ventura; Rescue Dawn; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (for nostalgia's sake); Rain Man; Pineapple Express; Milk; The Wrestler; Slumdog Millionaire; Star Trek (2009); Drag Me To Hell; Murderball

TV: The Office; SVU; South Park; The Daily Show; The Colbert Report; Whose Line is it Anyway; Heroes; Monty Python's Flying Circus; The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson (can't beat the classics); any George Carlin HBO special; The Drew Carey Show; The Simpsons (the first nine seasons only. Everything beyond Season 9 is horseshit); Reno 911; Frasier; Beavis and Butthead; 3rd Rock from the Sun; Jackass; Wildboyz; Ren and Stimpy; Burn Notice

Books: Flowers for Algernon; Da Vinci Code; To Kill a Mockingbird; America (The Book); I Am America (And So Can You!); The Alphabet of Manliness; Watchmen; Napalm and Silly Putty; When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?; Brain Droppings

Music: Elvis Presley; The Beatles; Queen (it's my firm belief that if you don't consider "Bohemian Rhapsody" to be the greatest song ever written, then you're not a true rock fan); Rolling Stones; Frank Sinatra; Meat Loaf; Slayer; AC/DC; Aerosmith; Electric Light Orchestra; Black Sabbath; Joe Cocker; Turbonegro; Wolfmother; Styx; Meat Loaf; Journey; Cheap Trick; Jimi Hendrix; Fatboy Slim; Green Day; Prince

Food: Italian food; pizza; burgers; Chicken Caesar Salad; stroganoff; beer; Diet Coke; and a good ol' fashioned PB&J.

1. My family. They keep me sane, and trust me, that's a good thing.

2. Movies. They bring me to a place where I can be free of troubles or worries.

3. My MacBook. Seriously, this thing changed my life when I got it, and now it's essentially my best friend.

4. My GPS. I'm directionally-retarded, so anything that can assist me in getting from here to there is most welcome.

5. My iPhone. It's a whole new level of lazy convenience. Internet, bank statements, song identification software, GPS, mobile dictionary, White Pages, news, restaurant locator, stocks, weather, Facebook, you name it. And a lightsaber simulator, too! Can't go wrong with that. :D

6. You! :P

My future career; finding true love; politics, religion, and how the line between the two can become dangerously blurred; finishing school so I can get my own place; what tattoo I should get next; women, and why they're equally mystifying, fascinating, and difficult to figure out (this is coming from a guy who grew up with a mother and two older sisters)

Either working, or hitting the bar with my friends. Usually working. Bleah. On Thursdays, I like going to a little Maple Grove bar called J. Cousineau's, where they have karaoke. I will dominate you on karaoke. Wanna take me on?
I might also be on XBOX Live if I have nothing to do. I'm usually jamming on Guitar Hero, but I'm trying to get all the Achievements on GTA4, as well. Like I said: PRIMO NERD.
Nowadays, my days are clogged with more and more homework. Lamesauce.

I used to be a rabid pro wrestling fan in my youth. Sometimes, when I'm really bored, I watch old, classic WWF matches and interview promos on YouTube... for nostalgia's sake, of course.

You appreciate a guy who's open-minded, honest, super funny, tolerant, and willing to try new things. And adorable. And who knows the entire 60's "Spider-Man" theme song.

However, do NOT message me if:
-You're racist, sexist, or an extremist.
-You think gays are evil.
-You enjoy cramming religion down other people's throats.
-You think Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan are suitable role models.
-You think reality television is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
-You forcibly insist that I enjoy country music along with you. If you love it and like to listen to it, that's cool. But I won't voluntarily listen to it. It ain't happening, "pardner".
-If you think Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia, or Larry the Cable Guy are God's gift to comedy.
-You lack a driver's license.
-YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS FOR NO APPARENT REASON. IT'S STUPID AND OBNOXIOUS.
-You don't have a stable grasp on spelling and grammar. I can accept the fact that we all make typos every now and then (myself included), but seriously, folks. If there's one thing I greatly value in a potential partner, it's intelligence.