"Life is NOT that complicated. You get up, you go to work, eat three meals, you take one good shit, and you go back to bed! What's the fucking mystery?!"- George Carlin

I'm a giant nerd. Comic books, science fiction, graphic design, and movies are my reasons for living. I've recently become an acolyte of "Doctor Who" (the Tenth Doctor is the best, and I'll fight anyone who disagrees).
Bruce Campbell is the greatest actor of all time.
I have a alter-ego known as "Canadian Bacon". Don't ask. Just accept it.
I'm a straight ally. That means that I regard gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people as my equals. Deal with it.
I'm decidedly liberal.
I don't like religion. At all. You got a religion? That's fine. As long as you're not hostile, bigoted towards others, or you don't attempt to shove your beliefs down others' throats, I respect your beliefs and live and let live.

I live in NE Minneapolis with a roommate, and right now, I'm solely focused on college after having recently quit my soul-crushing retail job of four and a half years.

I currently appear on a show on the MTN cable access network called "Freaky Deeky", which is pretty much the most epic psychedelic call-in public access show in the history of the known universe. Our troupe has become increasingly popular in Minneapolis, and we've hosted dance shows at First Ave and even performed recently at the Zombie Pub Crawl (check us out at freakydeeky.tv! I actually helped design most of our new site!).

I've finished my Associate's Degree, and I've transferred to the U of M to start my Bachelor's in Journalism.

I like to sing. I'll kick your scrawny ass at karaoke. I'm sort of addicted to Photoshop, even though I'm no longer a graphic design major.

I make funny faces.

My kind eyes. Whatever variation of facial hair I'm currently sporting. My badonkadonk butt. If you've known me for at least a year, you'll notice how much weight I've lost recently.

I eat, drink, breathe, and fuck movies. I have way too many to list... so I'll list (most of) them anyway. Spider-Man 1 & 2; Star Wars; The Empire Strikes Back; American History X; Dumb and Dumber; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly; One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest; Evil Dead 1 & 2; Army of Darkness; Iron Man; Pulp Fiction; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; Monty Python's Life of Brian; Across the Universe; The Full Monty; Jackass Number Two; Kill Bill; Animal House; Shaun of the Dead; Rocky Horror Picture Show; Wall-E; Raiders of the Lost Ark; Hairspray; Caddyshack; Christmas Vacation; Dogma; Team America; Best in Show; This is Spinal Tap; Let the Right One In; Young Frankenstein; Blazing Saddles; Requiem for a Dream; Wrath of Khan; Dark City; The Crow; Reservoir Dogs; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Rain Man; Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Shawshank Redemption; Pineapple Express; The Wrestler; Star Trek (2009); Drag Me To Hell; Murderball; Where the Wild Things Are; Kick-Ass; Toy Story trilogy; Black Dynamite; Serenity; Inception; The Social Network.

TV: The Office (both American and British); Doctor Who; SVU; South Park; The Daily Show; The Colbert Report; Whose Line is it Anyway; Heroes; Monty Python's Flying Circus; any George Carlin HBO special; Futurama; Beavis and Butthead; Jackass; Ren and Stimpy; Burn Notice; Firefly; Robot Chicken; Aqua Teen Hunger Force; Arrested Development; Metalocalypse

Books: Flowers for Algernon; To Kill a Mockingbird; America (The Book); I Am America (And So Can You!); Watchmen; Napalm and Silly Putty; When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?; Brain Droppings; Choke; comic books (mainly Marvel)

Music: The Beatles; Queen (it's my firm belief that if you don't consider "Bohemian Rhapsody" to be the greatest song ever written, then you're dead inside); Rolling Stones; Meat Loaf; AC/DC; Electric Light Orchestra; Black Sabbath; Ronnie James Dio; Turbonegro; Styx; Meat Loaf; Journey; Cheap Trick; Jimi Hendrix; Andrew W.K.; Beastie Boys; Ennio Morricone; Peaches; David Bowie; Dethklok

1. My family. They can be crazy and even obnoxious, but I still love 'em.

2. Graphic design. It's my art.

3. Dancing. I suck at it, but I'm nonetheless REALLY good at putting on a show.

4. Performing. Between karaoke and public access, I vent my creative demons in the gnarliest ways possible.

5. That one thing. You know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, that thing.

6. Hugs.

Who would win: Superman, or The Hulk? I mean, Superman's got superhuman strength, speed, durability, and flight on his side, but the angrier the Hulk gets, the stronger the Hulk gets. It's quite the conundrum. If you can figure this out, I shall shower you with riches beyond your wildest dreams.

Friday? Why Friday? Fuck Friday. Why not Monday? Or Wednesday? I'm going to invent a day. One that's in between Tuesday and Wednesday. Help me think of a name for it.

I own a samurai sword and a pair of nunchakus. But not for self-defense, but rather because the 14-year-old inside of me says (and rightfully so) that they're awesome. And really, what more justification do you need?

If you think you can complement me artistically, idealistically, and emotionally.

If you've surfed retrojunk.com for hours on end and were nearly brought to tears from the sweet nostalgia it induced.

If you can accept the fact that I'm a poor college student and not a ridiculously wealthy doctor, lawyer, or male porn star.

If you like Canadian Bacon.

*UPDATE: Sorry, ladies. This Bacon is now taken.