0-5: Don't remember. Anything could have happened.
5-7: Sisters began campaign of ludicrous stories and terrorizing pranks. Developed phobias of spiders, basements, mirrors, and styrofoam heads.
7-11: Ran off into the woods to be raised by wolves. Occasionally returned "home" to conduct experiments in the microwave and play Nintendo.
12-14: Stole sister's clothing to look like a normal teenage girl. Failed. Stole spare change instead to buy ice cream.
15-17: Built to-scale models of the Earth-Moon system in my bedroom. Spent Junior Prom playing Playstation, in my dress.
18-24: College, not college, college. There were lots of books involved. And some cows. Brief stint in France.
24: Returned from France. Quest for hummus that tastes like the Carrefour brand begins.
25-28: Married. Divorced. Developed passion for beer and scuba diving.
29-present: Discovering love of urban environments. All phobias displaced by fear of house centipedes.
May 11, 2013: Quest for hummus ends. I lay down my pita.