Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I feel sometimes that I would be better off in some smoky speakeasy
in Manhattan ninety years ago.
Not butch, a bit femme, self-identified as lady-handsome.
I'd like to have a life like Dolly Wilde but with none of the
heroin. All of the wit, though.
The important stuff: Sagittarius sun, Aries moon, Cancer rising,
INFP, Enneagram 4w7, Fire Rabbit in the Chinese Zodiac, erm, my
Tarot card is the Hanged Man, and, well, I'm left-handed. Take that
as you will.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing. Not writing enough. Coming up with puns, buying more books
than I need, laughing with friends as frequently as possible.
Having dreams about giant swimming pools in seaside hotels that are
full of sea monsters and shining pearls.
I work at a job that I love. I used to be in the service industry,
and having a 9-5 life is a hard adjustment.
I enjoy drinking, but not getting drunk. There is a line, though;
and I am often teetering on the edge of it, and it is lovely.
I would rather spend ten minutes in London than ten days at Burning
Cat cuddler by night, bike straddler by day.
I can connect everything to either an attraction, restaurant, or
hotel at Walt Disney World. Seriously, try me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Figuring out subway maps, being oh so charming, remembering
specific scenes in films but never remembering everything that I
was supposed to get at the grocery store.
Ironic and unironic misandry.
Being the big or little spoon, wherever I am needed. Finding the
space nearest your neck where my cheek will perfectly fit, giving
my lips a little space to laugh into your skin.
Do you know what Pepper's Ghost is? I'll explain it to you at some
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I always wear glasses, so there's that. I also apparently have a
decent amount of swagger. And a few tattoos. I'm probably smirking
or frowning at something the first time you see me, just be
patient. I can smile brightly with the best of them.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
In no particular order: Dorothy Parker, Zelda Fitzgerald, Radiation
City, Joan Didion, Kanye West, Cabaret, Roxane Gay, Solange, Missy
Elliot, T.S. Eliot, All About Eve, Natalie Barney, avocados,
Katherine Hepburn, Beyoncé, hummus, Kate Bush, Okkervil River,
Interpol, coffee, E.E. Cummings, Beach House.
Stravinsky and Copland and Joni Mitchell and German Expressionism.
Female surrealists. When I was eleven I fell in love with Madame X
by John Singer Sargent and it still has a deep effect on me.
Humming "Age of Consent" while either walking or bicycling home at
History Channel documentaries about secret societies, ancient
aliens, or cryptozoology. I know it's bullshit, but I just devour
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Paper, pens, imagination, curiosity, open roads, books.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to be a better/more disciplined writer, history, being less
attached to my phone, infusions, why I find the things I love so
Women, of course.
Coming up with new ways to express the human body and its wheres
and hows, whether through some abstract metaphor, or by decoding
the sound of bones, or when skin slips over skin. Give me a minute,
I can come up with something better.
I don't want to be one of those people who present themselves
through their social/political selves. On the other hand: I truly
do give many shits about many things. Intersectionality!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking down some conversation and laughing throatily, my fingers
around a sweating glass, my arm slung over the evening like an old
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've never read anything by Kurt Vonnegut, and I think that's fine.
Please, I beg, do not be the tenth person to tell me I just need to
start with Cat's Cradle. Darling, I'll get through somehow.
I do not sew, I do not garden, I cannot knit, but I am so glad that
you can, it is so nice that you do, please understand that craft
nights scare me to death.
I want to move back to Florida in twenty years, where I will be one
of the leathery women in Key West wearing a sarong and flip-flops
for the rest of my days. This is not a high expectation for
I flirt shamelessly with everyone, especially you.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You read all that and don't think I'm a ridiculous snob.
You have an arsenal of bad puns and jokes and can't wait to use
You identify with any of these phrases:
You like the idea of something casual-sexy that includes a lot of
You are 100% into public displays of affection.
You are really excited about meeting my cat. About meeting any cat,
You don't mind that I told you that story so I can tell you this
You want to go to the theater because, like me, you really need
more of that in your life.
If there is a sort of growl when you smile and a sort of purr when
If you are a time-traveling Katherine Hepburn, message me, I will
keep you secret and safe.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.