I'm twenty-three years old. I'm a girl. I'm right handed, but do everything with my left. I'm a firm believer in that if you're not making a mess, you're not doing it right. I have faith. My favorite color is apple green. I think I'm hilarious. My favorite joke involves a king and his armies. My favorite animal is the Capybara. The Capybara is the world's largest rodent. I have no information regarding other worlds' largest rodents. I roller skate. I will come at you like a spider monkey. I sing loudly and obnoxiously with no apparent respect for key or tone. I am foul mouthed, and not ashamed of it. The three key words in my vocabulary are: "Stellar," "Wicked," and "Fabulous."

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For real guys, I'm really seeing someone, SpikeMcAwesome. Since March. Sorry!

I graduated last year with a generally useless degree in business administration. I'm going back to school, in the fall, so that I can get my degree in Social Work. I've been working with kids for the past three years of my life, and I love it.

I am unemployed, but it will soon be remedied.

Roller skating, saying entirely inappropriate times at unfortunate times, giving high fives, dodge ball, various board games, telling terrible jokes, camp songs, tag, making people smile, baking, making little paper stars, writing one terrible haiku after another, camp songs, making annoying sounds, terrible pillow talk.

I gesticulate wildly, my hands speak their own language, understood by none. I am in a constant state of motion when I speak, and use my entire body to emphasize minor points.

Books: A Farewell to Arms, Player Piano, Cat's Cradle, American Gods, Good Omens, Lolita, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Island, Ragtime, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, A Secret Atlas, The Once and Future King

Movies: Better Off Dead, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Serenity, Constantine, UHF, The Goonies, Coming to America, Cool Hand Luke, Bubba Ho-Tep, The Life of David Gale, The Wiz, The Blues Brothers, The Last Unicorn, Valley Girl

Food: I like food, sometimes it's good.

Music: Lord, I love music. Let's see here, I love...

Thrice, Parliament, The Jungle Brothers, The Specials, Fishbone, The Toasters, The Pipettes, Big D and the Kids Table, Samiam, The Queers, Champion, StayxGold, Allegiance, Stevie Wonder, Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Etta James, Chromeo, Lucero, Ion Dissonance, Donny Hathaway, The Roots, Good Clean Fun, Mos Def, Lauryn Hill, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, The Bouncing Souls, DJ Mehdi, Paul Johnson, Korea Girl, Kid Cudi, New Found Glory

Aquanet, because it has many uses, and your hair will be flawless.
My Friends, because they're fabulous, and I love them.
Roller derby, it's the sport of champions.
My Zune! It contains a vast wealth of stellar music!
High Fives, because that's all kinds of affections in a simple gesture.
Books, because the more you know! *

Various ways to showcase my dimples.

The general state of the human race.

Also: Non-Newtonian Fluids.

Having a hilarious night with friends, or wandering through toy sections of 24 hour wal-marts.

Jim Lindberg once told me to fuck off during an interview for a zine I wrote for in high school.

you're pretty fabulous yourself.