i'm looking for friends. with benefits. females preferred to males for this position, but options are being kept (somewhat) open. if there's a pretty girl into kink, she should find her way to me. it's not mandatory that you be into it. i'd just really like a girl of my own.
if you describe yourself as "down to earth" 1) you're probably not, and 2) even if you are, especially if you are, i probably won't like you. i'm not laid-back and i'm pretty sure i'm somewhere above mt. kilimanjaro myself, so.
i'm self-centered. i value honesty very, very highly and by that token: i will judge you. i will judge you very harshly, in either a positive or negative light. that is, obviously, contingent upon you. if you're honest with yourself, you might even admit that you're judging me too. should we happen to judge each other favorably, we should talk. perhaps more.
i drink a lot, though not recently. i like other people who drink a lot-- but only those who can hold their liquor.
i do not like beards. or mustaches.
i really do not like people who think that "the internet is not an english classroom so i don't have to type like i was given an education". if you send me a message containing phrases like "hru" or "wats ur name" i will verbally fuck you up. i don't give a shit if you think the internet is an excuse for laziness. i don't.
i take pictures. you should get in front of my camera.
i'm not into people who think labels are a bad thing. i'm also not into people whose self-summaries mention an interest in "gender theory" or "feminism" (i place both in quotes because some aspects of these topics do interest me, but it tends to happen that if you find yourself strongly interested enough in these things to put them in your summary, you will probably not like some of the shit i have to say. i can offend both proponents and opponents of damned near every social issue.)
the list of things i don't like is a lot longer than the list of things i do. the previous sentence is actually a lie, but it is a very commonly held belief among those who think they're close to me. i grew bored of attempting to correct this.
i'm saddled with rather crippling social anxiety, so pressuring me to meet in person = not at all a great idea. if i feel like i really need to meet you and pursue a thing with you, i'll do it when i fucking feel like it and not a millisecond before.