| if you're older than 31, it's not very likely that anything would happen between us. exceptions may occur but don't expect them.
| if I don't respond to your message/your visit within a week I'm probably not going to.]
the above notices are intended to weed out a few hardy specimens which appear to be resistant to the particular poisons i use. please don't take them as a sign you shouldn't approach. you should do so. with caution.
so, a small bit about me.
i have a short and intensely volatile temper, i really like to read, and i don't like small talk [read: this means don't send me messages saying "how are you" "how's it going" or similar, for example]. i really do not. don't ask me how i am or what i'm doing. ask me something that matters to you, not something your grandma taught you was polite to say to strangers.
and for those who think it's cute or suave or something to do so, please do not send me messages saying "hey beautiful" or "hey sexy". that is not my name and i will not answer to it, no matter how grateful you think i should be that you deigned to call me such stupid things.
i tend to expect the worst and believe the best when it comes to people.
i like doing shots in the bathtub and taking pictures. sometimes at the same time, because i am epic like that.
i think i might be allergic to speaking without sarcastic undertones. it's a disease.
the mind fascinates me. i tend to look at people like case studies. including while i'm fucking them. that's a disease too. probably.
i have a bad case of "only-one" syndrome. ask about it.
in fact, ask about whatever you want to know. i don't like trying to summarize myself like this, because there's always going to be something important i forget to say and something totally irrelevant that i say too much.
oh and i am not a dog person, so you should probably get your friend off my leg before it cries rape.