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ohio45387

28 M Honolulu, HI

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:57pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin, White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Very often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aquarius, and it matters a lot
Education
Dropped out of high school
Job
Unemployed
Income
$250,000–$500,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Sanskrit (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Hi, I'm a self-serving guy who enjoys manipulating others. My interests include:
-Gawking at people on the beach until they get up and leave
-Kitten mittens
-Asking where the Spam is in Whole Foods

My ideal first date would include:
-Lots of awkward pauses and long, impromptu bathroom breaks
-Sweating profusely in the AC
-Food that makes us really uncomfortable and gassy afterwards... lets see who can "sneak" one out first ;)
What I’m doing with my life
Slowly decomposing
I’m really good at
-Cooking Chef Boyardee and pizza rolls
-Mad libs
-Sloppy shave jobs
-Failed workplace romance
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Twilight series
Movies: The Twilight films
Show: The Nanny (Fran Drescher, that accent gets my juices flowin!)
Music: Close call between Creed, Beck, and Nickelback
Food: Zebra cakes and street meat
The six things I could never do without
-Serial abortions
-Candy Crush Saga
-Volcano tacos
-Sleeping in disgustingly late
-Revenge f***ing
-Slow cars with good safety ratings
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-Throwing elk blood on vegans
-Billy Mays (RIP)
-The Trail of Tears
-The Puppy Bowl (them mugz is cute!)
On a typical Friday night I am
-Rockin' wrinkly button-ups to the club
-Picking fights with friendly couples
-Drinking until I stop having fun
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 86–92
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For casual sex
You should message me if
If you wanna meet a real a** person... or if you want your life to take a turn for the worse