Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi, I'm a self-serving guy who enjoys manipulating others. My
-Gawking at people on the beach until they get up and leave
-Asking where the Spam is in Whole Foods
My ideal first date would include:
-Lots of awkward pauses and long, impromptu bathroom breaks
-Sweating profusely in the AC
-Food that makes us really uncomfortable and gassy afterwards...
lets see who can "sneak" one out first ;)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Cooking Chef Boyardee and pizza rolls
-Sloppy shave jobs
-Failed workplace romance
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: The Twilight series
Movies: The Twilight films
Show: The Nanny (Fran Drescher, that accent gets my juices
Music: Close call between Creed, Beck, and Nickelback
Food: Zebra cakes and street meat
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-Candy Crush Saga
-Sleeping in disgustingly late
-Slow cars with good safety ratings
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-Throwing elk blood on vegans
-Billy Mays (RIP)
-The Trail of Tears
-The Puppy Bowl (them mugz is cute!)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
-Rockin' wrinkly button-ups to the club
-Picking fights with friendly couples
-Drinking until I stop having fun
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you wanna meet a real a** person... or if you want your life to
take a turn for the worse
Who are you looking for?
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