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ohthatbrandy

25 F Battle Creek, MI

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:17pm
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from two-year college
Job
Medicine
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm like Thor from the movie Thor. You know how he speaks elaborate English, is unabashedly, passionately into things and super convicted, sometimes misses the mark socially but has a lot of love in his heart, is unafraid of challenges, and gets excited and talks in LOUD ALLCAPS? That is me. Fat brunette Thor in lipstick. Thunder thighs, voice booming to the heavens, I like this drink, ANOTHER!

INFP, Enneagram type 4, Slytherin. If this was a character sheet: Chaotic Good, Strength 11, Constitution 12, Dexterity 10, Intelligence 16, Wisdom 13, Charisma 14.
What I’m doing with my life
I lead a glamorous hobbit lifestyle--comfort, snacks, playing with friends when I'm not staying in the house marathoning TV shows. (Looking for someone to do this with on a longterm basis.) Dreamwise, there aren't enough of the movies I want to see, so I'm going to make them myself, and make my living doing that eventually.

More immediately, I am a college student, knockin' out prerequisites and general education credits for Chemical Engineering. Gonna $tack that cash, which will go towards the pilot of my zombie webseries, as well as a place of my own (will be tackily painted, smelling of espresso) and ALL THE DRESSES.
I’m really good at
-Varsity-level planning.
-Correctly pronouncing the hard-to-pronounce.
-Handing out emphatic, very specific compliments like candy.
-Knowing what color would look good right there.
-Faking extroversion.
-Top-notch girlfriending.
-Remembering things with terrifying specificity.
-Googling it to death.
-Baking things or cooking breakfast.
-Handling annoying phone calls to customer service.
The first things people usually notice about me
"That girl looks super easy to talk to! I'm going to tell her a story about my life! Maybe several!"
-many complete strangers' apparent thought process. I look approachable!

Plus I smell like candy, have an adorable receptionist voice, dress colorful, and try to be both witty and helpful, and am fat. I comfortably identify as fat given "Fear of a name increases fear of a thing itself." -Albus Dumbledore. I feel awesome, take exemplary care of myself, and love my body--who wouldn't, considering I feel like boobs all over?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
------------movies-------------------------------------------------------------
I have gleefully lowbrow taste and love grindhouse and horror, the more one-liners and playfully-severed limbs the better. Anything by Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Sam Raimi or SyFy original movies (think Megapiranha and Sharknado). The Conjuring, Pacific Rim, Gravity, Ginger Snaps, Legally Blonde, The Other Guys, The Heat, Mean Girls, Zombieland, Cabin in the Woods. Top three: The Scorpion King (with the Rock), Army of Darkness, Spider-Man 3.

------------television----------------------------------------------------------
Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Justified, Supernatural, Parks and Recreation, Spartacus, Reno! 911, The Whitest Kids U Kno, The Walking Dead, Helix.

------------books----------------------------------------------------------------
I'll read anything that can sit still long enough, but I mostly stick to horror, fantasy, and teaching myself things with non-fiction. I'm reading the A Song of Ice and Fire novels right now, and love Stephen King-he always has these perfect phrases where I get it. I'm writing an adaptation of The Gunslinger and then the rest of his Dark Tower series.

------------music---------------------------------------------------------------
I'm a voracious, unapologetic pop monster with an iPod full of hard rock, gothic, and metal, and a 2k14 resolution to see Britney Spears in Vegas. Favorite album of all time swings between Nightwish's "Once" and Matchbook Romance's "Voices".

------------snacks--------------------------------------------------------------
I'm an omnivorous creature of habit that eats a banana every day, would like the cherry-flavored one, and has had the same Mancino's order for 15 years. I'm a connoisseur of apple varietals, bake amazing cinnamon rolls, and can make movie theater popcorn at home. I'll have a couple craft beers here and there, or an amaretto sour or some sort of vodka-lemonade-nonsense here and there.

------------gaming-------------------------------------------------------------
I recently fell furiously in love with Dungeons and Dragons--I'm an elf ranger in an Evil Pathfinder campaign and am getting ready to DM my own Tarantino-inspired campaign. I am already a dice hoarding enthusiast. My self-built PC, the Asskicker, can handle Left 4 Dead 2 and Civilization V at max settings. I am a scary-fuckin' ass Fire trainer in Pokemon X, have the cutest Animal Crossing town, and come up with my best swears ("eat my turtle dick!") during MarioKart.
The six things I could never do without
Internet: It’s basically a miracle and I am mindblown every day by how COOL this is. Most of my friends live on it, and overall, the providence of sweet lady Internet is the closest thing I have to religion.
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Conair shower brush: I have a thick, majestic three foot long mermaid mane that likes to stick to itself, and this very specific brush is the only thing keeping it from strangling me in the sleep.
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Digital photography: has really opened up the control and accessibility over the images we take, and shrunk the barrier into filmmaking.
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Office supplies: I hoard colored pens like some sort of dragon that needs to write a lot, in Technicolor.
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Makeup: It’s living art in motion that only lasts one day, and rubbing colors on my face genuinely delights me.
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Skim milk: Two straws, with ice in it. I went four days without it a few years ago, and I’m still no longer welcome at that Starbucks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I make a conscious effort to love and/or be delighted by as many things as possible--I seek it out, because life is more fun when you're stoked!

A lot of processing power also goes to staircase wit, intersectional feminism, fat activism, plots both bunny and nefarious, and life improvement.
On a typical Friday night I am
Last week, I saw a film. As I recall, it was a horror film.

(Exchanging stories with friends so excitedly that we hit the table our craft beers are in danger, yelling at ice hockey, singing karaoke vigorously, bouncing around at a rock show in the local dive, and I once built a blanket fort at Arby's.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I often scan objects in my immediate vicinity and devise clever, amusing, elaborate, or otherwise entertaining ways to dispatch zombies with them. Occupational hazard.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 18–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
If you're within reasonable driving distance, are looking for a serious longterm relationship, and so far find me a charming/enticing candidate for that. If you're really stumped on what to say to me, just send me your bestworst joke. A personal favorite is "what's fuzzy, green, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on you?" A pool table! ;D