Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
In how many words or less?
Utter goofball; unapologetic, serene, and sincere in the manner
which my senses partake of the world at large. But I never stop
thinking, never never, and the gears are always churning and
observing and taking my own self far too seriously.
I like to think myself equal parts beer-swilling homemaker;
reflective, considerate, mindful hedonist-of-sorts; and an actual
grown-up, I can't deny it. Beer goes with baking unequivocally
(unless it's a quickbread cinnamon roll, then I get coffee), I'm
honest to a fault and/or infuriating degree if you keep asking me
shit, and I dutifully do the dishes and buy vegetables and clean
the catbox and will (almost certainly) eventually get a Real Job.
Unless I can find a way out of it (which goes only for that last
There is potential for growth within the discomfiture of change,
which I like to think I'm approaching with a good pair of shoes and
a healthy attitude. And possibly a slight buzz.
Also: ridiculous amounts of attention to detail. By now I simply
cannot help it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Getting better at it, for sure.
Living it without scrimping on the basics, which include but are
not limited to decent bourbon, food cooked by my hot little hands
in my hot little kitchen, toys to play with and books to keep me
smart, and all my damn fabric.
Thinking some about what I want to do with the rest of it, which as
it turns out is a lot of piddly shit stacked alongside a lot of
deep shit: both arenas which I suspect (or just fear) that most
people aren't so mindful of, really.
Otherwise? mouth-breathing when I add too much spicy to the red
beans and rice; pretending to sew; actually sewing;
flapjack-flipping between big things and little things;
feeling more about science than I have since I was in about the
fourth grade; not practicing other languages enough; daydreaming
about ice cream; ironing with specific and terrific
I am fortunate enough to have experienced some of those elusive
Perfect Moments in my life so far: I humbly try to be one of those
people who keeps [her] eyes open for their potential, wherever they
might end up. Hint-slash-caveat: perfection can be simple like a
geometrically exact circle executed with a worn paintbrush, or
heavy-handedly nicked and patina'd and bumper-car-bumped around
within a finite set of preconceived requisites, or evenly
wave-revolution-drizzled with chocolate-flavored stripes like a
little debbie fudge round. Learn it: know it: live it.
Punctuation = breath. Just can't get enough, right?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
marinating tempeh; baking cakes and shit; petting the cat (not
code); petting the cat (totally code); spending gobs of time
ironing seam allowances; laughing at myself; making manhattans;
Approaching the acme of rough 'n' tough buttercream: it's like the
brief plateau that exists between velocity girl and electric
wizard. You'll just have to trust me that it does, in fact, exist.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
flat felled seams; stray cat hairs; my impeccable taste in footwear
and sunglasses; possibly my stink-eye.
Which is to say, these are the things I wish people first noticed
about me. Let's be honest, it's the quart of sangria I'm
twin-packing in a Foam Dome.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Dino Jr's cover of just like heaven is pretty much the best fucking
thing ever. Ditto Carla Bozulich and salty red cabbage and a pinot
noir that doesn't suck. Also screaming is fine, but Black Francis
is a pain in my ass lately and Michael Gira will WIN fucking all
I'm a sucker for both a challenge (Gogol' and Emil Jannings,
horizontally slicing a genoise for petit fours, pattern matching up
to and including uneven plaids) and easy fluffy nonsense
(Disorderlies and hot tamales, kitschy candle holders, pb&j),
with an undeniable need to indulge in occasional bits of the
slightly raunchy (more Frank/less Dweezil Zappa, RTX, Lust in the
You know, a healthy mix.
I'm still flexing my muscles toward being a pedant because there
are some benefits therein, and human perspicacity tends to travel
in cycles after all. I believe the alternative to actively pursuing
well-roundedness is basically being a git*, which I'm not into. But
really, it's stuff I did in high school and college, and then the
other stuff that I wish I'd done in high school and college. I'm
not a one-trick pony, I'm just an older imprint,
not-very-strayed-from catalog of tricks that I'm fighting against
becoming too dogeared.
*not to be confused with The Gits.
I sort of want to proclaim my affinities for some amalgam that
might be cubed into moody sugar, but that just makes me think of
blueberry bubblegum which must be pretty awful.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The eternal prospect of improvement.
A good dictionary.
Maybe acrylic paints, the super cheap-o 89¢ ones.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Matter. Everything else is pretty much gravy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Maybe sewing, maybe drinking, maybe watching futurama for about the
hundredth time; probably all three.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm guarded and slightly prone to suspicion, but don't consider
myself shy or, ultimately, dishonest. If I trust you? you kinda get
it all even if you don't want or anticipate it.
Plus I quote random instances of recorded media WAY too often for
my own good but I was a latchkey kid in the eighties so, you know,
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a need to hear me talk about apparel sewing; you want to
compare Edith Head tattoos and watch old movies and get all
goosebumps at expressionist techniques; you're not afraid of either
one or the both of us being actual humans; there are things you can
persuade me toward.
I want someone who'll meet me halfway, who'll know and expect that
I not only will call you on your shit? but would prefer you to be
willing to do the same for me.
Just don't be a total wankfest. I'd tell you to try and keep up
because my brain can move at a frenetic and occasionally
quick-cadenced pace, but upon greater consideration I'm kind of a
slow burner. So maybe nevermind that one.
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