1. I'm very pro-treating animals well and I agree that cows get the raw end of the deal. But they wouldn't have that problem if they didn't taste so good and frankly, weren't so easy to catch.
2. I’ve never watched Sex in the City and seeing that I've made it this far, it’s fairly likely I'm not going to start. Please don't try to convert me. I promise it’s not going to give me any insight into your personality. So if you describe yourself as a "Carrie type", prepare for blank stares and if you say "that's so totally Sex in the City" when certain things happen, I'm going to find these comments bewildering. However, I will make references to Seinfeld and will expect you to understand what I'm talking about and to find it amusing. Points for offering up your own Seinfeld references. Yes, I know this is a double standard and isn't fair. Sometimes Life isn’t fair. It is what it is.
3. Please have a good sense of humor and don't have like a really weird or annoying laugh. It’ll get on my nerves and since I’ll spend a good deal of time and energy on making you laugh and smile, all that hard work will be ruined if I’m continually cringing after making a joke. If no one’s ever mentioned your laugh as a negative then you’re probably okay. But just to be safe, you should ask a work colleague to critique your laugh for you. I’m just kidding…that’s crazy. You weren’t really going to do that were you?
4. I love hummus and order it whenever it’s available. But I won't touch a chick pea. Or falafel. Yes, I know this makes no sense.
5. I'll gladly read your trashy celeb mags with you and enjoy heated debates on whether celebs are truly just like us or if it’s just an act for the cameras.
6. I don't have a huge sweet tooth so generally you'll be on your own if you want dessert. I like chocolate and really like peanut butter and chocolate so if you ask me what looks good, I’ll probably push for something along those lines. But if you want something else, hold firm and stand your ground. I'll only have a couple of bites so get whatever you want.
* - the word “information” doesn't necessarily convey that the facts listed below will somehow “inform” you or give you a cohesive, comprehensive viewpoint on my character and personality, consequently bestowing upon you an “informed” opinion on what it would be like to date me. For the record, I'm not sure these points are even moderately indicative of me and frankly don’t recall ever explicitly mentioning any of these facts to anyone, much less a girl that I was currently seeing or about to see. Thus, I want to make it perfectly clear that I am in no way responsible for any extrapolation you might do on your own part concerning any of the items listed above in regards to my "dateability" and overall pleasantness.