i'm in austin/san antonio at the moment. live in portland, ore most of the time, choosing to winter down here, as i am from here, have family/friends here. that said, i'm a bit in-between the two these days, so i'm keeping my options open (both in terms of whom i date and where i will be at any given moment). if that bothers you, my not being in your 'hood year-round, best look elsewhere. although if i found the right partner, my stints in the opposite city might be a bit shorter. but that's a ways off...let's stick with the now for now...
i remember a couple years back, listening to a song by e, you’ll be the scarecrow. i hadn’t listened to the song in at least a half dozen years, but something just told me to spin it up, and so i did, over and over. it always tugs at me, this song that references the end of the wizard of oz, when dorothy tiptoes up to the scarecrow’s ear and whispers, ‘i think i’m going to miss you most of all’. the next morning, i had a dentist appointment. i signed in, walked over to the waiting area, and as i went to sit down, i noticed in the kid area a flat-screen tele, playing the wizard of oz. and not just any moment in the film, but the exact moment where dorothy whispers this goodbye to the scarecrow. i stepped up to the screen, mesmerized and perplexed, and, believing deeply in such signs, immediately wondered: when i leave this world, who’ll be my scarecrow?
i’ve learned some hard and lovely lessons of late, about loss and giving. and i now know i have to be fearless in love, that holding back protects no one’s heart. as a close friend twice told me, we have to love fully no matter what. it may only last a week, but we still have to strive to be someone’s scarecrow. maybe then, we’ll find ours…
i'm not 'looking for love'. i am 'looking' to hang with someone, have some laughs, wander about, and discover some things about another and about myself. the other will happen. or not.
"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” ― Gilda Radner