Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm that fast walking aggressive negotiator wearing the knock off
Gucci messenger bag at the flea market.
I know ALL the best late night eateries. If you're hungry at three
in the morning, I'm the best food sherpa.
Albums over songs always.
I possess an encyclopedic knowledge of most sports things, but I
also have enough tact to not talk about sports if you don't care
My eyes light up someone saying something is broken. I love
challenges and always want to fix everything. Maybe not deep-seated
issues with step moms, but whatever, I'll bring my toolbox.
Most times, all I give a shit about is what I need to do to hug a
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm an antique/art dealer, mostly dealing in paintings and
furniture. It's a lively profession and I get to look at beautiful
things all day.
- Recaning a shelf on a Poul Jensen side table, it's a beaut
- Painting a 1:1 scale portrait of Manute Bol (this is a stupid
- Figuring out what makes some pigeons worth more to pigeon
enthusiasts than others
- Hunting for a Larry Krystkowiak Bulls jersey, if such a thing
- Figuring out the feasibility of making a tombstone coffee table
exactly like the one Patty and Selma prematurely made for Homer.
Not for anyone I know personally, I want to make one with Homer
Simpson on it
- Writing a stand up bit and then filing it away in my box of
- Refinishing a million tables, trying to stop myself from buying
so many tables that need refinishing
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
When I'm eating a handful of somethings, like almonds, and if I
drop one, I'm really good at catching whatever I dropped before it
hits the ground. This might be my best skill, which, sadly, is
completely contingent on first failing at eating.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Streaks of grey or whatever Swatch I'm wearing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Currently, I'm all about...
Book: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Y The Last
Movie: Everything by Larry Blamire, Rope, The Party, The Raid
Shows: Snuff Box, Broad City, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Twilight
Zone, not Breaking Bad
Music: D'Angelo, DJ Qbert, The Underachievers, Meat Wave, Kool G
Food: every kind of kubba, chicken charga, grilled pineapple
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
2) A watch
4) Dance jams
6) Frank's Red Hot
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How hard it would be to steal a Magritte or Kehinde Wiley.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've watched enough Frasier where I now feel like I have the
authority to competently psychoanalyze everything.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- you think Bodie was a better character than Omar
- you will let me drag you to a different antique fair or flea
market every warm Sunday
- a long conversation about Ghostface Killah's greatness sounds
- you know more than half of the current Supreme Court justices or
are capable of quickly and seamlessly making up hilarious yet
convincing names if you don't
- you don't think it's too dorky that I downloaded, and regularly
use, a chess clock app
- you want to trade pins and buttons
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.