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30 M Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:38am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
English, Other (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I live at thrift stores/garage sales/flea markets.

I quote O Brother, Where Art Thou and/or Coming to America at least once a day.

I love Didier Drogba for what he does both on and off the field. The man pretty much stopped a civil war.

I know ALL the best late night eateries. If you're hungry at three in the morning, I'll see to it that you eat like royalty.

Usually, all I give a shit about is what I need to do to hug a baby elephant.
What I’m doing with my life
I work for an antique/art dealer, mostly dealing in paintings and furniture. It's a lively profession.

Otherwise, I'm shopping for Swatches on ebay or bookcases on craigslist.

Current projects:
- Building myself desk out of old rosewood shelves I found (almost done thanks the Floyd Leg)
- Selling my old desk (repainting being internally debated)
- Figuring out how to replace the broken seats on my Plia Castelli chairs (never let friends with sharp butts sit on your nice chairs)
- Sanding down an old steel tension lamp for future painting
- Painting a 1:1 scale portrait of Manute Bol (this is a stupid stupid idea)
- Figuring out what makes some pigeons worth more bucks than others
- Polishing pair of MCM lamps (finger nails will smell like Brasso for weeks)
- Hunting for a Larry Krystkowiak Bulls jersey, if such a thing exists
- Figuring out the feasibility of making a tombstone coffee table exactly like the one Patty and Selma prematurely made for Homer.
I’m really good at
When I'm eating a handful of somethings, like almonds, and if I drop one, I'm really good at catching whatever I dropped before it hits the ground. This might be my best skill, which, sadly, is completely contingent on first failing at eating.
The first things people usually notice about me
Assuming it is the beard and the streaks of grey within.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Currently, I'm all about...

Book: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Lolita (I don't love it thus far), Y The Last Man
Movie: Everything by Larry Blamire, Rope, The Party, The Raid
Shows: Snuff Box, Veep, Silicon Valley, Twilight Zone, not Breaking Bad
Music: Pretty much just Freddie Gibbs
Food: every kind of kubba, chicken charga, grilled pineapple
The six things I could never do without
1) Projects
2) A watch
3) Sharpies
4) Dance jams
5) Weird
6) Frank's Red Hot
I spend a lot of time thinking about
elaborate pranks/future trips.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've watched enough Frasier where I now feel like I have the authority to competently psychoanalyze everything.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
- you think Bodie was a better character than Omar
- you will let me drag you to a different antique fair or flea market every Sunday
- you are a magical combination of Lizzy Caplan, Mirka Federer, and Roisin Murphy, whatever the fuck that means
- you won't hate when I make the argument that Jay-Z is not a top ten NYC rapper