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31 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:44pm
Middle Eastern
5' 10" (1.78m)
Doesn’t have kids
English, Other (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm that fast walking aggressive negotiator wearing the knock off Gucci messenger bag at the flea market.

I know ALL the best late night eateries. If you're hungry at three in the morning, I'm the best food sherpa.

Albums over songs always.

I possess an encyclopedic knowledge of most sports things, but I also have enough tact to not talk about sports if you don't care for them.

My eyes light up someone saying something is broken. I love challenges and always want to fix everything. Maybe not deep-seated issues with step moms, but whatever, I'll bring my toolbox.

Most times, all I give a shit about is what I need to do to hug a baby elephant.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm an antique/art dealer, mostly dealing in paintings and furniture. It's a lively profession and I get to look at beautiful things all day.

Current projects:
- Recaning a shelf on a Poul Jensen side table, it's a beaut
- Painting a 1:1 scale portrait of Manute Bol (this is a stupid stupid idea)
- Figuring out what makes some pigeons worth more to pigeon enthusiasts than others
- Hunting for a Larry Krystkowiak Bulls jersey, if such a thing exists
- Figuring out the feasibility of making a tombstone coffee table exactly like the one Patty and Selma prematurely made for Homer. Not for anyone I know personally, I want to make one with Homer Simpson on it
- Writing a stand up bit and then filing it away in my box of unfulfilled dreams
- Refinishing a million tables, trying to stop myself from buying so many tables that need refinishing
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
When I'm eating a handful of somethings, like almonds, and if I drop one, I'm really good at catching whatever I dropped before it hits the ground. This might be my best skill, which, sadly, is completely contingent on first failing at eating.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Streaks of grey or whatever Swatch I'm wearing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Currently, I'm all about...

Book: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Y The Last Man
Movie: Everything by Larry Blamire, Rope, The Party, The Raid
Shows: Snuff Box, Broad City, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Twilight Zone, not Breaking Bad
Music: D'Angelo, DJ Qbert, The Underachievers, Meat Wave, Kool G Rap, L'Orange
Food: every kind of kubba, chicken charga, grilled pineapple
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Projects
2) A watch
3) Sharpies
4) Dance jams
5) Weird
6) Frank's Red Hot
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How hard it would be to steal a Magritte or Kehinde Wiley.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've watched enough Frasier where I now feel like I have the authority to competently psychoanalyze everything.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- you think Bodie was a better character than Omar
- you will let me drag you to a different antique fair or flea market every warm Sunday
- a long conversation about Ghostface Killah's greatness sounds like fun
- you know more than half of the current Supreme Court justices or are capable of quickly and seamlessly making up hilarious yet convincing names if you don't
- you don't think it's too dorky that I downloaded, and regularly use, a chess clock app
- you want to trade pins and buttons