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31 Baltimore, MD Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25-44
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:55pm
Relationship Type
5' 0" (1.52m)
Body Type
Special Diet
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi! I'm Rachel! I love cats, exclamation points, and robots! I also love comedy podcasts, marshmallows, laughing, potlucks, afternoon dance parties, animal crackers, stand up comedy, breakfast food, snugs, pools & hot tubs, and getting packages in the mail. I have the cutest cats ever! Mochi and Aoko! They are buds! They are seriously amazing and awesome!! I live in Hampden, I love my neighborhood and my house.

I am ridiculously optimistic. I think I'm pretty awesome. I'm probably the most patient and positive person you will ever meet.

I am Polyamorous.
I'm also a comedy nerd.

IG: 0mgitsRachel - it's pretty much an account for my cats. Because they are amazing and I love them so so much! ❤️
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Cat wranglin'! Then snugglin' the wrangled cats.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Tying my shoes. No really. I'm a pro.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a bit of a shorty.

I often get asked what grade I'm in or if I'm going off to college in the fall. :/ I guess that means they notice that I look to be about 18. That gets kinda awkward. But it is still pretty cool. I definitely appreciate it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I love the Sookie Stackhouse series and Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. I love Neil Gaiman, Stardust and The Ocean at the End of the Lane are my favorites. I love Neverwhere too. I'm still trying to get through Amaerican Gods. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I love Anthony Bourdain, David Sedaris, and Chelsea Handler(I don't care how horrible she is, her books are kinda funny). Amy Poehlers book Yes Please! Tina Fey - bossypants. I listen to a ton of audiobooks.

Movies: Moon, Wet Hot American Summer, Empire Records, Amelie, Elf, Sleepwalk with Me, Safety Not Guaranteed, Take This Waltz, Damsels in Distress, Kevin Smith everything(Mallrats is number 1), ... The Science of Sleep, Stranger Than Fiction, Shaun of the Dead, Attack The Block, Serenity, Brick

TV: Wet Hot American Summer: First Day Of Camp, Parks and Recreation (I love Ron Swanson!), The Office, Bob's Burgers, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Fringe, @midnight, Community, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny, Silicon Valley, Archer, Orphan Black, Once a Upon a Time, Lost Girl, The 100, Nashville, The League, Wilfred, Battlestar Galactica, Girls, Glee, Doctor Who, New Girl, The Mindy Project, Seinfeld, Firefly, Arrested Development, Party Down, the state, Dollhouse, Veronica Mars, Buffy, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Joss Whedon everything!

Music: the Decemberists, Mike Doughty, They Might Be Giants, MisterWives, Jonathan Coulton, Garfunkel and Oates, Tegan and Sara, the bird and the bee, Robyn, Chromeo, Regina Spektor, Postal Service, Soul Coughing, Jenny Owen Youngs, Fountains of Wayne, Death Cab for Cutie, Rilo Kiley, Ani Difranco, Matt and Kim, Phoenix, Ben Folds, Weezer, The Blow, Bon Iver, Florence + the Machine, Leila Broussard, Common Rotation, Motion City Soundtrack, Lily Allen, He's My Brother, She's My Sister...

Podcasts: The Digression Sessions, Who Charted?, My Brother My Brother and Me, Sawbones, Trends Like These, Totally Beverages and Sometimes Hot Sauce, Slumber Party with Alie and Georgia, You Made It Weird, Gilmore Guys, Spontaneanation, With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus, The Adventure Zone, Pop My Culture, Baby Geniuses, Professor Blastoff, Nerdist, The JV Club, Savage Love (I love Dan Savage) , Doug Loves Movies (I especially love when he has Pete Holmes and/or TJ Miller on.), Sex Nerd Sandra, Cashing in... With TJ Miller, Jordan Jessie Go!, How Did This Get Made?, Dining with Doug and Karen, Serial, Girl on Guy, Harmontown, The Indoor Kids, Making it with Riki Lindhome, Mike and Tom Eat Snacks!, You Look Nice Today., This Feels Terrible, Poly Weekly, I love the Nerdist, Earwolf, Maximum Fun, Feral Audio networks.

Comedians: Kumail Nanjiani, Pete Holmes, Howard Kremer, Aisha Tyler, Maria Bamford, Tig Notaro, Paul F Tompkins, Kyle Dunnigan, Natasha Leggero, Patton Oswalt, Michael Ian Black, TJ Miller, Michael Showalter, Tom Lennon, Chris Hardwick, Eugene Mirman, Kristen Schaal, Doug Benson, Jackie Kashian, Rory Scovel, Zach Galifianakis, Mike Birbiglia, Jason Mantzoukas, Brian Posehn ... Etc there are many more. I'm most frequently listening to comedy albums on spotify or comedy podcasts.

Food: Sushi and other japanese food, Ethiopian, Middle Eastern, Thai, Vietnamese, Greek, Spanish, Korean, Tibetan, Nepalese, Indian. I love breakfast food. Sweet potato fries. Curry pumpkin soup. Challah. Olives. Kale sprouts, Brûléed grapefruit. Lucky charms. Mango. Rice Krispie treats, Almond milk. Popcorn. Cheese... Cheddar, Chèvre, Ibirico, halloumi, bread cheese, Brie, Camembert... Kale smoothies. Pancakes. Roti. Crackers. Carrot cake. Everything bagels. Soft pretzels. Tofu cream cheese. Cookies. Salads with goat cheese!, kale Caesar salads, buffalo sprouts from golden west!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-My cats. Mochi and Aoko ❤️
-My Apple devices: iPhone, iPad, MacBook.
-Awesome things to listen to: Music, podcasts, audiobooks, comedy albums.
-My awesome family and friends <3
-Snuggles and cuddles
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Kittens. Sweet adorable fluffy kittens.
I think about Mochi and Aoko a lot.


Tardigrades. Why? How are they a thing??

African sand cats! The cutest wild cats ever!

Jason Mantzoukas.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing something fun.
At a comedy show.
Hanging out with friends.
Hanging out with the Mochi cat and Aoko kitten!
Playing fetch with Aoko. She plays fetch. Though. It's more like she's trained me to throw a toy for her to make it more interesting.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have really horrible vision. Like. Horrible. For realsies.

I'm kind of sick of Felicia Day.

I don't like Game of Thrones. I tried. I really tried. But... I just can't.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to! :)

You enjoy shenanigans, hijinks, antics, and tomfoolery. Monkey business will also be tolerated.

You know how to spell. Please please know how to spell!

You are a fellow kinkster. ;)

You are a fellow poly person.

You want to bake me chocolate chip cookies or snickerdoodles. Or any kind really.

I dig beardos. Seriously. ;)

You are a comedy nerd too!

You know how to play the ukulele and want to teach me how to play. I have a cute kiwi uke!

Wanna play skeeball? I love skeeball!!!

You are looking for new friends. A lot of my friends are moving away. I could use some new buds. :) for realsies. It's hard to make new friends as an adult! :)

You like fooding adventures! I love brunch, I love awesome ethnic foods. Wanna get Ethiopian or Korean? How about sushi? Thai? Tibetan? Whatever!

"Have a summah" means something to you. Non-summah is a beast.

I am NOT outdoorsy. I will not go hiking, biking, kayaking, swimming in something that is not a pool, or camping with you. Ever. I just won't. I will however swim in a pool, hang out in a hot tub, or porch sit with you. Porch sitting is about as outdoorsy as I get.

I'm currently looking for a roommate! If you or someone you know is looking for a room to rent in Hampden, let me know! I can send you my cl ad!

Thinking about signing up for Uber? Maybe you wanna use my referral code! (Passenger code, I'm NOT a driver.)

You Shouldn't Message Me If:
You think it might be a good idea to call me a "crazy cat lady." Even jokingly. I think a person, male or female, can be a Cat Person. It doesn't make them crazy. So, any negativity about my cats or love of these beautiful fuzzy majestic creatures will probably not be well received. Kthnxbai.